@темы: Просто за жизнь

"Guys look, this is my Dracula (and my fiance) and this is my Scarlet Pimpernel. I just LOVE Japan!"

@темы: Театр Такаразука, Просто за жизнь

@темы: Просто за жизнь

two more

@темы: Куклы, Интэгрити

"Da sh..."s:
Klaine, bar-tender, 12 blind dates.
archiveofourown.org/works/307874

Klaine, Kurt`s a stripper, AU and my abs fav.
archiveofourown.org/works/667161

Klaine, Teacher/student, soulmates AU, BDSM.
archiveofourown.org/works/455772?view_full_work...

Klaine, witness protection program fic, simply brilliant! so well written!
www.fanfiction.net/s/7119855/1/The-Secret
the seq is way-way weaker.
www.fanfiction.net/s/7299019/1/Another-Story

Klaine, an awesome, well written story, very weiss-like in angst, a demon is after Blaine`s soul and It uses Kurt to get to him and kill him.
www.fanfiction.net/s/7280297/1/And-Streams-Of-R...
www.fanfiction.net/s/8685220/1/Here-We-May-Lie-...

Will/Kurt, short, but very well done and very realistic thing, nevermind the unusual pairing. Prostitution fic. Brilliant.
archiveofourown.org/works/247743?show_comments=...


"So-so"s:
Klaine, very long and fluffy, "never met at school" AU.
archiveofourown.org/works/469623?view_full_work...

Klaine, a "Shugar Daddy" fic which is not like that at all. It`s intellegent, witty, sweet, sad and way too small. Very good.
archiveofourown.org/works/520234

Klaine, the story where criminals were brainwashed and turned into legel slaves. Karrofsky`s father buys him one to help keep his homosexual urges hidden.
archiveofourown.org/works/868562?view_full_work...

Will/Kurt, no sex relationship, Kurt lures Will to his room and tries to blackmail him into having sex. Great thing, but small alas!
archiveofourown.org/works/127679/chapters/18082...

Pairingless, "The Perfect Host", Sebastian inhabits and controls Kurt`s body and... does whatever he likes in it. Amazingly good, very interesting, but abandoned.
archiveofourown.org/works/814988?show_comments=...

Klaine, London AU of never-met-at school, Kurt plays Puck on West End and Blaine is in the band, very descently written, same author as "Gilded Cage".
archiveofourown.org/works/453995?view_full_work...

Klaine, the best prostutituon-themed fic I`ve seen, loved Blaine here and Finn too, very angsty fiction, very funny use of English language (the author is German), unfinished yet.
archiveofourown.org/chapters/1750530?show_comme...

Klaine, Kurt finds a wounded Baline at night under an oak-tree in his back-yard. Magic story, abandoned, it could be a blast otherwise.
sunandrainfic.livejournal.com/1489.html

Klaine, an evil psychologist-father fic, angst.
kurt-blaine.livejournal.com/1075724.html

Klaine, nice arc about age difference problems, Kurt is 28 and Blaine is 16.
archiveofourown.org/series/60824

Seblaine, teacher/student, quite nice but short.
archiveofourown.org/works/707073?view_full_work...

Klaine, 60-ties AU inspired by the Madmen, very well written, but unfinished hence goes to "so-so"s.
archiveofourown.org/works/706806?show_comments=...

Klaine, NYADA student/professor story, first they meet and huck up, than they find out who they are to each other, than they huck up again... Sweet, but somewhat boring.
archiveofourown.org/series/49950

Klaine, model/editor story, Blaine`s a bit creepy domestic stalker here))))). Overall well written, but doesn`t have many exciting moment, like many crappiest stories often have. Funny, but true. Well written, but kinda boring and characters are kind of dull. But like Sebastian in here.
archiveofourown.org/works/611903?view_full_work...

Kurtbastian, an incest arc, Sebastian is Kurt`s biological father and 16 year old Kurt ends up under his care after Burt`s death.
archiveofourown.org/series/39650

Klaine, Trophy, PG.
archiveofourown.org/works/1560593?view_full_wor...

Klaine, small, just lots of dirty-talk from my fav author.
archiveofourown.org/works/1135667

Klaine, playing with the rape fantasy, Blaine is a therapist, fa.
archiveofourown.org/works/1083992

Kurtbastian sort of... harsh AU, Kidnapping, horrifying mind games, age play, unfinished.
archiveofourown.org/works/484471?view_full_work...

Klaine, the best one of the worst theme 'bad-ass Blaine comes to McKinly', sappy and the rating is too light, but has some funny character interactions.
rainjoyswriting.livejournal.com/126806.html#cut...

Klaine, not bad, but short BDSM fics starting with "Load the dice".
archiveofourown.org/series/50680

Klaine, "Mild case of vampirism", hilarious!! and very well written but so small, which is why it goes in the so-so`s.
archiveofourown.org/works/504420

Klaine, a cool victorian novel story, Blaine`s a vampire this time.
archiveofourown.org/works/610120/chapters/10992...

Seblaine, actually quite a good vampire story, not very vividly written, but with good plot development and nice back-ground characters, but regretfully abandoned.
archiveofourown.org/works/494881?view_full_work...

Klaine, another found-lost-found-again, happens during holidays and that`s pretty much the whole plot, but still a well written little thing.
archiveofourown.org/series/33986

Seblaine, no Kurt at all, Blaiine recovers after the bad break-up by crushing at Cooper`s apt, and Sebastian is his roommate.
archiveofourown.org/works/741457?view_full_work...

Kurtbastian, werewolf story, very well written, but plot is non-existent outside of romance. Loved the re-edition of the "met at the staircase" scene - way better, than canon scene actually.
archiveofourown.org/works/808483?view_full_work...

Seblaine, very small, Sebastian at McKinley instead of Kurt, PG.
archiveofourown.org/works/1041619

Klaine, Blaine kind of only does hook ups, and Kurt kind of never does those. Until they meet each other. A nice slight d/s and first. A bit too sappy, but has a nice set of characters.
archiveofourown.org/works/1956213?view_full_wor...

"Crappy, but manageable"s:
Klaine, bad-ass Kurt, family related angst, unfinished.
archiveofourown.org/works/625195?view_full_work...

Sandy Ryerson/Kurt, some creepy tale, pairing says it all.
archiveofourown.org/works/233979?view_full_work...

Klaine, another kidnap and break story, this time at the hands of Blaine. Not as good, as the one with Sebastian, but still. Pretty much plotless.
archiveofourown.org/series/111755

Klaine, barista and closeted stalker story, nice but unfinished.
archiveofourown.org/works/1147965?view_full_wor...

Niff, typical bad-boy-comes-to-school story, but one that has honest consequences. Unusual main pairing, Kurt also features, but as a friend. A bid confusing and boring, but has good sex scenes.
archiveofourown.org/works/620873?view_full_work...

Klaine, hospital fic, Blaine is in a coma, unfinished.
archiveofourown.org/works/426505?page=3&show_co...

Klaine, "Sickness", BDSM.
archiveofourown.org/works/671205?view_full_work...

Kurtbastian, BDSM AU, liked Sebastian in here.
archiveofourown.org/works/587204?view_full_work...

Klaine, short, Kurt`s a teacher at McKinly, BDSM AU.
archiveofourown.org/works/676722

Klaine, roadmanager in Versace, light BDSM, nice.
archiveofourown.org/works/1274533?view_full_wor...

Seblaine, slavery AU, nice and sweet.
archiveofourown.org/works/348177?view_full_work...

Klaine, BDSM but very peaceful and kind of boring and uneventful, but wanted to have the link just in case... archiveofourown.org/works/761123

Klaine, BDSM, Virtual Reality interaction.
archiveofourown.org/works/657898?view_full_work...

Klaine but not really, Blaine with Santana and Brittany and others.
archiveofourown.org/works/645294

Kbastian, Asilum Dalton AU, very cool, but short.
archiveofourown.org/works/532078

Kbastian, "Durty Deeds", hate sex and very confused and bad Kurt.
archiveofourown.org/works/728015

Kurtbastian, Dalton tradition, very funny and cool Sebastian at times, abandoned.
archiveofourown.org/works/603634?view_full_work...

Klaine, werewolf story with a really profound mating ))
archiveofourown.org/works/833888

Klaine, a BP which was actually good and had an interesting character development 0.o
archiveofourown.org/works/698147?view_full_work...

Klaine, vampire fic, both stunningly boring and dismally scary - a splendid combination But good feel of the story. And had things, that caused some real deep thinking on a very important subject
archiveofourown.org/works/287062?view_full_work...

Klaine, hitch-hiker story, sweet and kinda flat, but with nice characters.
www.scarvesandcoffee.net/viewstory.php?sid=1002...

Klaine, another "never-met-at school" story, about a Ghost.
www.scarvesandcoffee.net/viewstory.php?sid=9335...
and a second part, even better, but currently unfinished.
scarvesandcoffee.net/viewstory.php?sid=10104

Klaine, a BDSM scene that is totally naturally imbedded in the canon, smooth
archiveofourown.org/works/412953

Klaine, vampire not-really-a-story cause not much plot in here, safe boring sappy, but had a good inspiring begining.
archiveofourown.org/works/550966?view_full_work...

Kurtbastian, a vampire story, very small and very so-so, sappy and angsty, but need a link for a some nice ids.
archiveofourown.org/works/1760357?view_full_wor...

Sebklaine, about Kurt getting Sebastian as a consort, but receiving Blaine as a package-deal as well. D/s and a work in progress.
archiveofourown.org/works/1784809?show_comments...

Klaine, teacher/student fantasy story about sex education, kinda plain but still.
archiveofourown.org/works/1852873?view_full_wor...

Klaine, the 'Lykan' verse.
archiveofourown.org/works/648806?view_full_work...

Klaine, another item in the collection of "strange Dalton traditions".
archiveofourown.org/works/165583

"Crappiest ever, but with ideas".

Not-really-Klaine, the King of the crappies ever, but with the brilliant ideas. An angel fic.
archiveofourown.org/works/178422

Klaine, another ghost story, with a good, solid over-all plot, but not very well written and I don`t like how it wrapped up either, but I was sane and full of details so...
archiveofourown.org/works/700365?view_full_work...

K/S/B, slavery AU.
archiveofourown.org/works/881210?view_full_work...

Kurtofsky, the idiotic curse fic.
archiveofourown.org/works/215595?view_full_work...

Sort of Puckurt, but not. Idiotic post-traumatic-syndrome fic, LOTS of words about nothing, but the first part, which is about captivity has some good plot features. The rest is just A LOT of boring garbage ^_^
archiveofourown.org/works/441859?view_full_work...

Klaine, collection of short stories featuring dark Blaine. Some good ideas, but very poorly done.
www.scarvesandcoffee.net/viewstory.php?sid=9589...

Klaine, a post-apocalyptic story, very looong and written with inthusiasm, but very bad in terms of realism and common sence. But I still remember that story, hence the link.
archiveofourown.org/works/1155036?view_full_wor...

Klaine, "Indentured", fic about people paying depts by working in half-prison half-slavery system, children included. Kinda sappy, plain and boring. But a fascinating over-all plot.
archiveofourown.org/works/1456447?view_full_wor...

Kbastian, total and utter crap, but one idea, I wanted to keep.
archiveofourown.org/works/1241572?view_full_wor...

Pairing is undetermined. Short, but fun werewolf story with a hope of sequels, hence the link.
archiveofourown.org/works/1977462?show_comments...

Spike/Kurt, a crossover with Buffy, very badly written, but surprisingly fun
archiveofourown.org/series/11131

@темы: Fanfiction

@темы: Glee

Внезапно, хорошие кино. Такое, которое не скучно смотреть в процессе, и которое не идет из головы после. Ещё таких хочу!!

rutracker.org/forum/tracker.php?nm=struck%20by%...

@темы: Movies

Главы 10-11.


Chapter 10

The thing is; Blaine knows it’s a bad idea as soon as he thinks it. There’s really no reason for him to go back to Scandals. He had thought going back to Dalton was hard, being faced with the memories of the time he spent there with Sebastian. Going to Scandals, however, is something entirely different. It’s where everything started between the two of them, where they got to know each other again and where they spent most of their time. It’s where Blaine discovered just how far he has to stretch to place a kiss on Sebastian’s lips, learned how well his arms fit around Sebastian’s shoulders, the way Sebastian looks after a round of dancing and how low his voice gets when he whispers in Blaine’s ear.

It’s been a month since he’s seen Sebastian; four Fridays that he’s stayed at home listening to music in his bedroom or laid out on Sam’s living room floor with a movie playing in the background. He feels better with each day, the gnawing ache in his stomach a little less each time he opens his eyes after a night of sleep. It’s not gone, not by a long shot, but he refuses to let himself wallow like he did with Kurt. He wasted so much time pining for something that didn’t even exist, a relationship that had fundamentally changed, and he won’t let himself do that again. He still has the urge to pick up his phone and text Sebastian, to complain about glee club or the bathrooms at public schools or even just a simple, I miss you. He doesn’t, though, and his phone never lights up with Sebastian written across the screen.

--

He’s in his room, lying on his bed and flicking his thumb over the screen of his iPod like any other Friday night, when his mother pokes her head into the doorway.

“Sweetheart,” she says softly, stepping into the room. “Your dad and I are going into Columbus for dinner with some of his business partners and we won’t be home until late. There are leftovers in the fridge, in case you get hungry.”

“Thanks, mom,” Blaine says, angling his cheek up as his mother places a kiss down. She sweeps a worrying thumb across his forehead.

“Have a good night, sweetie,” she says fondly, leaving the room and shutting the door behind her. Blaine hears them getting ready in the hallway, shoes and jackets sliding on, and then leaving, the car’s tiring crunching on the bit of snow that’s started to fall.

Blaine sits in silence, his fingers clutching his iPod tightly, as the idea hits him. He needs to know if he’s over Sebastian, if he can go out and talk to someone new and not wish that they were a little bit taller, that their eyes were green instead of brown. He can’t be caught up on old feelings forever; he knows that now, after everything that happened with Kurt. He’s up and off his bed before he can second guess himself, checking his hair in the mirror and straightening out the collar of his sweater. He’s always been impulsive, and maybe that’s a bad thing, but he can’t help the tiny bubble of excitement that he feels at the thought of going back to Scandals.

The only thing that makes him pause is knowing that Sebastian will probably be there. There’s no reason to think he stopped going once Blaine broke things off. It’s probably the opposite if Blaine’s being honest with himself; Sebastian’s free to dance and kiss and fuck any boy he wants now that Blaine isn’t there to take up his time. Thinking about it makes him cringe, imagining Sebastian and a new boy wrapped around each other while Sebastian whispers filthy secrets into his ear. But maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe seeing Sebastian with someone else with help Blaine realize that things are over and done, that he can move on and dance with a new boy of his own. It’s not what Blaine wants, but maybe it’s what he needs.

By the time he’s made it out to his car, teeth chattering from the cold and from nerves, the idea of going out to Scandals is looking better and better.

--

“Long time no see,” the bouncer says as he waves Blaine in, not bothering to check his ID. Blaine blushes just a little, embarrassed that he seems to have become a regular at a bar. He knows it won’t be like before, when he was coming here once a week to meet up with Sebastian. He wants to satisfy his curiosity tonight, needs to know if he can be around someone new in a sexual way without feeling sick to his stomach.

He gives the bouncer a small smile as he moves passed, turning sideways to fit in between the bodies crowded near the doorway. Everything about Scandals is exactly how he remembers it —down to the same songs on the same rotation —except for the feeling of worry circling in his stomach. He’s usually bubbling with nervous excitement when he walks through the door, his eyes scanning the dance floor for a familiar tall, lean body. He’s still looking for Sebastian now, but this time he hopes he doesn’t see him, hopes that Sebastian found a newer, hipper bar in Columbus to pick up guys.

Blaine makes his way to the bar, knowing that a drink will calm his nerves. He’s not expecting anything tonight, doesn’t even want to bring someone back home. Tonight isn’t about that; it’s about working his way to getting over Sebastian —one small, painful step at a time. He orders a beer, even though it’s not what he wants, but every other kind of liquor reminds Blaine of the way it tastes on Sebastian’s lips. He swallows a large gulp, grimacing as the cheap liquid slides down his throat. It doesn’t burn the same way that first tequila shot did all those months ago, back when Blaine was clueless and a little naïve and only saw Sebastian as a potential hookup. He takes another long pull and the beer begins to do its job, warming up his stomach and calming his jittery hands. He doesn’t chance a look out to the dance floor again, instead focusing on the liquor bottles lining the wall in front of him.

“What’s your favorite?” A voice asks from his side and Blaine jumps in surprise, almost dropping his beer.

“Excuse me?” he asks, turning to face the man next to him. Blaine doesn’t recognize him, although, why would he? He’d had blinders on when he came to Scandals before, eyes only for Sebastian. The guy next to him is a little taller than Blaine (not tall enough, his brain supplies), and he can’t help but think that there’s nothing special at all about this man’s appearance. His hair is too light, blonde all the way through, and his eyes are too dark, his rounded nose looking out of place. Blaine shakes the thoughts out of his head. That’s not what this night is about, to pick apart new guys for not living up to someone else.

The man nods to the bottles. “You’re staring like you’re trying to figure out your next drink. What’s your favorite?”

“Oh,” Blaine laughs. “No, I’m good with beer for now. I guess I was just thinking.” He stares at the bottle that the bartender always grabs for Sebastian, clear liquid with black writing across the label.

“Well,” he says, moving in closer until their elbows bump on the top of the bar. “If you’re coming to a place like this, thinking should be the last thing you’re doing.” He offers Blaine a smile and it’s so sleazy that it turns Blaine’s stomach. “I’m Greg.”

“Blaine,” he says, offering his hand because even if this guy isn’t his type, he still has his manners. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Likewise,” Greg says. The smile stays on his face, not even bothering to hide his interest as he looks Blaine up and down. “I see you’re without your escort tonight.”

“My escort?” Blaine repeats, eyebrows closing together in confusion. He takes another sip of his beer.

“Yeah, the guy you’re always in here with,” he explains, moving closer. “Tall, lanky, ridiculous haircut.” He pauses to let Blaine speak, but Blaine is silent. “I’ve been checking you out for weeks, but every time you come in here, you’re attached to his hip.”

Blaine swallows nothing, his throat suddenly dry despite his half empty beer. “No, it wasn’t like that,” he says, each word causing a new spike of pain in his chest. “We were just friends.” It hurts to say, to finally admit out loud that that’s all they ever were, and maybe not even that, not to Sebastian anyway. Blaine stares down at his beer bottle, this thumb picking at the peeling label. He doesn’t want to talk to the stranger, doesn’t want anything to do with his blatant suggestions. All he can think about is Sebastian; how Sebastian would be talking to him if he were here, how his hands would drape around Blaine’s waist, the way he’d look Blaine right in the eye before leaning down for a kiss.

“I think I need to leave,” Blaine says, sliding his beer across the bar. He realizes now that this was a bad idea, that he’s not ready for whatever the next step is in getting over Sebastian.

“Aw, come on,” Greg pleads, an insincere pout on his lips. “You can stay for one more drink.”

“I’m actually really tired, it just hit me,” Blaine lies. He doesn’t want to deal with pushy men that he has no interest in trying to feed him alcohol and take him outside, until he’s down on his knees or pressed into the brick.

“Can I at least get your number?” Greg asks persistently. “Maybe meet up the next time you’re here?”

He sighs, aggravated that this guy can’t seem to understand that Blaine wants nothing to do with him. He turns his entire body away, inching down the bar until they’re no longer touching. “I’m sorry, but I don’t think so,” Blaine says, polite but direct.

Greg opens his mouth, surely another pushy remark ready at his lips, when another voice cuts through.

“Can’t you take a hint?” Sebastian says, sliding behind Greg and pushing at his shoulder until he stumbles away from the bar.

Blaine can’t stop his jaw from dropping open in shock, quick breaths leaving his mouth as he watches Sebastian eye the stranger. He can’t process what’s going on, certain that he’s made up Sebastian completely. He wants to see him so badly that he’s imagined him here, moving this unwanted man away from them.

“What the fuck,” Greg grumbles, stepping forward into Sebastian’s space before looking at Blaine. “I thought you said you ditched him?”

Blaine can’t even begin to form words, his mouth a small ‘o’ as he looks between the two. He grips onto his beer bottle tighter, needing to hold onto something while his hands itch to pull Sebastian in for a hug. It’s an immediate reaction, one he can’t control and something that obviously didn’t fade with time apart. His entire body is still drawn to Sebastian, no matter how much he tries to tell himself to ignore him.

”Why don’t you just run along, hmm?” Sebastian says, his smile tight and fake. He words it as a suggestion, although it’s clear that it’s anything but. Greg squares his shoulders and Sebastian gives his eyebrow an unimpressed quirk.

“I think Blaine wants me to stay. Don’t you, Blaine?” Greg says, his smile all wrong. It doesn’t make Blaine’s heart speed up, doesn’t make him bite the inside of his cheek to keep from returning it. Even if he knows he shouldn’t, he still wants Sebastian and not this other person standing in front of him.

“Actually,” Blaine starts and he can see Sebastian’s ‘I told you so’ smirk already. “I kind of just want to talk to him,” he says, tipping his beer bottle in Sebastian’s direction. This isn’t turning out how Blaine imagined but, maybe, it’ll turn out better. Sebastian’s here and he’s not with another boy, doesn’t have his arms wrapped around someone else on the dance floor. He’s here and next to Blaine, attempting to chase off a guy who can’t seem to understand Blaine’s disinterest.

“Now if you’ll excuse us,” Sebastian says, waiting for Greg to step away. He doesn’t move and Sebastian picks his hands up and flicks his wrist. “Shoo,” he says, smirking as Greg sputters and then turns away.

And now it’s just the two of them, fitted tightly together at the crowded bar. Blaine keeps his eyes down, running his finger around a ring of water left on the top of the bar. Sebastian is so close and it’s overwhelming, the way his body still reacts to Sebastian. It’s like his head isn’t even connected, all of the rational thought gone the second Sebastian steps into his personal space.

“Hey, Blaine,” he says, knocking their shoulders together. It’s such a friendly thing to do and Blaine’s heart squeezes in his chest. “I didn’t think I’d see you here again.” There’s a long pause and Blaine can hear Sebastian sigh heavily a few times. “I—um—I’m glad you’re here.”

Blaine has to swallow twice before his mouth and throat cooperate, but he still doesn’t look up. “Hi, Sebastian.” He doesn’t trust himself to say anything else, to let Sebastian know that he’s glad to be here too, now that they’re here together. Just being near Sebastian is making Blaine feel better, better than he has in weeks, soothing and comforting and exactly what he needs. He finally looks up and sees the tight line of Sebastian’s lips turn into a smile when their eyes meet. It feels different after everything they’ve been through, but there’s an undercurrent of familiarity that warms Blaine through. He knows this boy better than maybe anyone else; at least anyone who still wants to speak to him.

Sebastian’s lips are moving, but the music is suddenly louder, the bass kicked up as more people move out to the dance floor. Blaine can’t hear what Sebastian is saying, can’t make out the movement of his lips. “What?” Blaine shouts, trying to be heard over the music.

Sebastian leans closer and Blaine holds his breath, but before anything can happen, Blaine feels an elbow to his back as he gets pushed up against the bar.

“Sorry, man!” calls a drunken voice from behind him, words slurred as the man makes his way by. Blaine pulls himself back and straightens out the front of his sweater while Sebastian watches the man walk away, his eyes narrowed.

“Can we get out of here?” Sebastian shouts, quickly backpedaling as Blaine’s eyes widen at the suggestiveness of his words. “No, not like that. I just mean somewhere we can talk, somewhere quieter.”

Blaine realizes he has a choice. He can leave now and walk away from Sebastian or he can stay and listen to what he has to say. He’s barely surprised at how quickly he has his answer.

“We can talk in my car?” Blaine offers, shrugging his shoulders as he says it. It’s too cold to talk outside for very long and Blaine’s not sure what would happen if he invited Sebastian back to his house. He needs to hear what Sebastian has to say before he even lets his mind wander there.

There’s a hand on his elbow as soon as the words leave his mouth, Sebastian pulling him away from the bar and directing them through the crowd of people. It’s so fucking familiar that Blaine has to pause and take a deep breath, close his eyes to get himself together and trust Sebastian to lead them out the door.

The air is freezing as they walk outside, but the snow has stopped. Blaine still feels like he’s burning up, the frigid breeze doing nothing to stop the warmth circling through him, starting where Sebastian’s hand is still clutching onto his elbow. Blaine steers them through the parking lot, Sebastian staying close to his side even when they have to turn and twist to fit between cars that are too close together.

They break apart when they find Blaine’s car, Sebastian squeezing Blaine’s elbow before he lets go and walks over to the passenger side. Blaine’s hands are shaking as he unlocks his door and he has a brief moment of rethinking this entire thing before he reaches across and opens the door for Sebastian, who slides inside easily. Blaine starts the car to take some chill out of it, holding his frozen fingers in front of the heat vent as he waits for Sebastian to speak.

He doesn’t. They sit in silence and Blaine watches the minutes pass on his dashboard clock. Even if he knew what to say, he still needs Sebastian to talk first, to try and understand what’s going on. He can’t put himself out there first, to tell Sebastian how he really feels, not after what happened the last time. So Blaine waits, letting his fingers and nose and the tips of ears thaw out as Sebastian’s hands grip onto his knees.

Finally Sebastian sighs loudly and it sounds like he’s forced it out, as if he knows what he wants to say, but unsure just how to say it. “I—“ He starts and then stops abruptly, and Blaine can see his knuckles turning white as he grips onto his knees tighter. Sebastian pushes a harsh breath out of his nose before trying again. “You know—” Another pause. “Fuck, Blaine. Come on.” He’s clearly aggravated, but Blaine can’t figure out why; if he’s annoyed that he has to speak first, if he doesn’t know what he wants to say, if he can’t put into words what he’s feeling.

“I don’t know what you want from me, Sebastian,” Blaine says honestly. Being this close to Sebastian after being apart is taking its toll on Blaine. He feels wound up tight, his heart and his head in a constant battle over what he should do and what he wants to do. He knows what he wants; to pull Sebastian across his seat and kiss him in all the places that he’s missed, to touch him everywhere he’s been craving. His brain stops him and instead he plucks uselessly at the steering wheel.

“Fine, okay. You want me to say it, fine,” Sebastian says and Blaine knows enough to see that Sebastian isn’t angry at anyone but himself. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I haven’t texted you, even though you asked me not to. I should have because I need to explain everything and because it hurt to not talk to you and because I missed you, okay? I missed you.” He takes a deep breath and all Blaine can do is look over with big eyes, trying to swallow down the hope he feels building in his chest.

“I don’t—I don’t do this,” Sebastian explains, motioning between the two of them. “What we had, what we were doing, it was all new to me, okay? I had no idea what I was doing.” He struggles as he says the words and Blaine wants nothing more than to reach out and lace their fingers together, to drag his thumb across Sebastian’s knuckles and try to calm him down. “It was just supposed to be sex, but then you had to go and be you,” and he says it with just a touch of sweetness and Blaine can actually feel his heart falling back into place.

“Sebastian,” Blaine says fondly, and he knows no matter what Sebastian has to say, they’re going to be okay.

“And I’m sorry for lying,” Sebastian rambles on, as if he didn’t hear Blaine at all. “In my dorm, when you were talking and fuck—you were so open and I just couldn’t be and I’m sorry.” He finally looks up from his lap and turns to face Blaine. He looks more vulnerable than Blaine has ever seen him. “Blaine. I mean—of course. Of course I feel the same way about you.”

There’s a pounding in Blaine’s ears, loud and persistent and it must be from all of his blood rushing to his face. He feels lightheaded and dizzy and he grabs onto the steering wheel to ground himself. It’s what he’s wanted to hear for months, what he convinced himself wasn’t possible. Sebastian is saying the words he’s ached to hear and it doesn’t matter if they’re a month late, he understands Sebastian and how difficult this is for him.

“Can you say something?” Sebastian asks, as close to pleading as he can get. “Is it too late?”

The elation that fills Blaine makes it hard for him to speak, so he just shakes his head and then smiles and nods. The look of confusion on Sebastian’s face just makes Blaine smile wider, too many words caught in his brain and unable to work them out of his mouth. Instead he reaches across the center of the car and finally, finally, has his arms around Sebastian. Sebastian tenses up before realizing what’s happening and relaxes in Blaine’s arms. It doesn’t even matter that his back is twisted and his arms are at an awkward angle around Sebastian’s shoulders, the overwhelming happiness that fills him cancels everything else out. He digs his face deep into Sebastian’s neck and tries to calm his racing heart.

Sebastian rubs his cheek against Blaine’s temple. “Are we okay?” he asks softly, his hands finding their place on the small of Blaine’s back. It’s still a perfect fit.

“Sebastian,” Blaine says, chuckling and shaking his head, which just buries his face deeper into Sebastian’s neck and shoulder. “Of course we are.”

Blaine can feel when Sebastian’s chest exhales with relief, his arms tightening around Blaine’s body. He can’t see his face, but Blaine knows the smile that’s there; he memorized it months ago.

There’s one thing that Blaine still has to ask, needs to know before he lets himself fall completely. “Is it just going to be us? No one else?” He asks. It’s the last thing holding him back. Because Sebastian can confess his feelings for Blaine until he has nothing left to say, but if they can’t be exclusive, if they can’t be together in the way Blaine needs, he needs to know now. “Can you do that?”

“I can try,” Sebastian answers quickly, no hesitation. “I’ve never done this before, been someone’s boyfriend,” he says and even hearing that word makes Blaine’s chest tighten. “But I want to be. Is that enough?”

Blaine nods, finally pulling back from Sebastian’s neck. He knows Sebastian, knows that this is something new and potentially hard for him. He knows it might not be easy, that Sebastian might have a difficult time with monogamy down the road when he confuses comfort and intimacy with boring and routine. But he’s going to try and that’s all Blaine can ask, all he ever wanted.

“Are you going to make me change my Facebook status?” Sebastian asks and Blaine laughs for what feels like the first time in forever. The mood changes into something better, easier, and Blaine playfully punches Sebastian’s shoulder.

“Shut up,” he says fondly. “Or I won’t invite you back to my house.”

“Yeah?” Sebastian says instantly, perking up and making Blaine laugh again. It feels so fucking good after feeling like a part of him has been missing.

“Yeah,” Blaine repeats, pulling back with a kiss to Sebastian’s lips, settling into his seat and putting the car into drive. Sebastian tries to follow him, stretching his body over the center console and placing a kiss underneath Blaine’s ear. Blaine takes a steadying breath as Sebastian’s lips press into his skin. “Put on your seatbelt,” he says shakily, proud of himself for even getting the words out. He knows there’s no way he can concentrate on driving when Sebastian’s lips are skimming all over his neck. He can feel when Sebastian’s mouth turns into a pout.

“Fine,” he huffs out playfully, moving back into his seat.

There’s nothing Blaine wants more than to reach over and put their hands together, to touch Sebastian in any way that he can, but he knows there will be time for that —and so much more—later. He looks over and sees Sebastian relaxed in the seat, his legs parted and his head reclined fully back. He’s watching the trees and houses outside the window, a content smile that looks permanently etched on his face. It settles Blaine’s nerves seeing Sebastian like that and he turns his attention back to the road.

--

They don’t run into Blaine’s house—that would be silly and immature and Blaine knows Sebastian prides himself on being neither of those things. But they do scramble out of the car and up the walkway, Sebastian’s hands all over Blaine’s body as he tries to unlock the front door. He shoves his hands into the back pockets of Blaine’s jeans, muttering softly under his breath the whole time.

“Let me get the door open,” Blaine says, although he can’t help but lean back into Sebastian’s touch.

“Can’t help it,” Sebastian says, pushing forward once Blaine finally turns the doorknob.

They stumble inside, quickly losing their shoes and socks and jackets as soon as the door shuts behind them. Blaine finds that he doesn’t care that they’re leaving clothes in the front hallway, not if it means Sebastian is closer to being naked in his bed. He’s never felt such a powerful surge of need before, taking over his entire body and making it difficult for him to think. His hands are all over Sebastian as they shuffle down the hallway, tripping over their feet as they go. They stop only to kiss, frantic pressing of lips together, just on the right side of too hard. It makes Blaine’s knees shake, the way Sebastian pulls him up—closer, closer, closer—hooking an arm around his waist and dragging Blaine up, until there’s no space between them.

“Come on,” Blaine urges, tugging on the loops of Sebastian’s jeans, finally pulling Sebastian into his room. Sebastian laughs at Blaine’s eagerness, bending down to nip at his bottom lip.

“Seems like you missed me,” Sebastian says, and Blaine wants to kiss the smirk right off of his face.

“Shut up,” Blaine mumbles, tugging Sebastian by the hips until the back of his knees hit the bed. Blaine doesn’t hesitate as he climbs on, letting go of Sebastian’s pants to pull off his own shirt. He throws it onto the floor and then starts on the button of his pants, pulling down the zipper and wiggling his hips. Sebastian is frozen by the foot of Blaine’s bed, unmoving as he watches Blaine undress. Blaine pauses, his pants tugged down to his ankles, when he notices Sebastian standing there, saying nothing. “Do you not want to?” Blaine asks, his heart pounding. Maybe Sebastian wants to take things slow now that they’ve worked everything out, to not fall right back into bed and into old habits. Blaine’s entire body is thrumming with how much he wants Sebastian—to have his body naked and warm and pressed right beside Blaine’s. He can’t imagine why Sebastian would want to wait, but Blaine will, if that’s what he wants. Blaine shrugs a shoulder, waiting for Sebastian’s answer.

Sebastian moves quickly, almost faster than Blaine can follow. His shirt is pulled up and over his head, his pants and underwear hitting the floor before Blaine realizes what’s happening. Blaine tries to keep up, his eyes flicking from the hard planes of Sebastian’s chest to the pale skin of his thighs. He wants to look, to see everything that he’s missed, but Sebastian is climbing onto the bed before Blaine can admire the dips of his stomach. Sebastian crawls over Blaine’s body, pushing his shoulders until Blaine is lying flat on his back. He looks up and sees Sebastian’s above him, the light from his ceiling causing a soft glow around Sebastian’s cheeks. Blaine feels like he must be dreaming, but Sebastian’s knees nudged in between his spread legs feels very real.

“I was going to take my time with you,” Sebastian says, bending down to run the tip of his nose along Blaine’s jawline, adjusting his legs until their cocks slide together. Blaine groans when Sebastian rolls his hips, his head pressing back into the mattress. “I was going to go over. Every. Inch.” Sebastian punctuates each word with a bite to Blaine’s neck, his jaw, the slope of his shoulder.

“Don’t wanna wait,” Blaine says, wrapping his arms around Sebastian’s back and digging his fingers into the familiar muscle. He’s missed this more than he can describe, more than he even realized until he had Sebastian back. Finally having Sebastian back hurts in its own way, like his chest is going to explode from too much. It’s overwhelming, but in the best way possible.

“Next time,” Sebastian promises, his breath coming fast as they rock against each other. He moves an arm under Blaine’s neck and cradles his head, his other arm pressed into the mattress and holding all of his weight. The way Sebastian moves isn’t designed to get them off, their cocks barely rubbing each time Sebastian rocks his hips down, but Blaine still feels like it’s too much. He knows he could come from just this, with Sebastian’s cheek pressed against his temple and his harsh breath in Blaine’s ear.

“More,” Blaine begs and hopes that Sebastian understands. He can’t think past that—more, more, more—so focused solely on Sebastian. He jerks his hips up, meeting Sebastian’s thrust down. “Please.”

“Blaine,” Sebastian gasps and the way he says it, like he’s been holding it inside for too long, makes Blaine’s heart pull (closer to Sebastian, always closer). He moves blindly for Blaine’s nightstand, his arm long and stretched out, but they’re too far away to reach. Sebastian growls, clearly aggravated that the lube isn’t closer. He moves his hand from under Blaine’s neck, sliding beneath his shoulder until it’s resting underneath the middle of his back. The pressure feels nice, a reminder that Sebastian is there, but it doesn’t last. Sebastian pulls Blaine up the bed, closer to the headboard, until the drawer is within reach. “Not letting you go,” he says, settling Blaine back on the bed and successfully reaching over for the lube. “Not even for a second.” He pops open the cap with him thumb and tips the bottle, letting too much liquid fall onto his hands.

Blaine wraps his arms tighter around Sebastian’s shoulders, bracing himself for when Sebastian’s hand wraps around them. He still jerks as soon as Sebastian touches him, his fist slippery and warm and absolutely perfect. There’s not much room in between them, both wanting to be as close as possible, but Sebastian works is way in, wrapping his fingers around their cocks and fucking his hips forward.

“I want to fuck you,” Sebastian says, his words dissolving into nothing more than moans when Blaine wraps his legs around Sebastian’s waist. “But I didn’t bring any protection.”

“Why not?” Blaine asks, his entire body writhing against the bed as Sebastian tightens his grip. It’s too good already—the friction against his dick and Sebastian covering him completely. He wants to tell Sebastian how much he missed him, how perfect everything feels, but he can’t focus —it’s too much, and his body shakes.

“I didn’t think I’d see you there,” Sebastian says and Blaine can feel how his whole body is strung up tight. His eyebrows are drawn together in concentration, the steady pumping of his hand inching their bodies together up the bed. “I didn’t want to sleep with anyone besides you.”

Blaine grabs for Sebastian’s face blindly, pulling him up roughly until he can press frantic kisses all over his face. He finally lands on Sebastian’s lips and his mouth is open before they even touch, desperate and hurried and exactly what Blaine had been missing. “I missed you,” Blaine says and he’s never meant anything more. “So much, Sebastian.”

Sebastian’s grip falters, his hips stuttering out of rhythm as Blaine speaks. He corrects it quickly, his hand picking up speed as he works them both closer and closer. Blaine cries out, burying his face in Sebastian’s neck—not to hide his moans, but because he can. They’re okay, Sebastian wants him, and Blaine strains his body closer.

“I missed you, too,” Sebastian confesses and Blaine knows he can’t hold on much longer. “Every fucking day, Blaine.” Their hips fall out of sync and Blaine doesn’t even notice. He ruts up against Sebastian’s thigh, his hips, the hard muscles of his lower stomach. It’s about so much more than getting off—it’s about finally being close, knowing that Sebastian feels the same way about him, and admitting that he wants them to be together just as much as Blaine does.

Sebastian grinds down as he twists his wrist up and Blaine can’t do anything besides squeeze his eyes shut and let go. He holds on to Sebastian’s shoulders so tight that his muscles start to ache and it only adds to the feeling, a dull pleasure-pain that’s amplified as he comes hard between their bodies. His whole body jerks and he holds on, wraps them together with his arms and legs, choking on Sebastian’s name.

He feels a sharp, quick pain in his shoulder as Sebastian’s teeth sink in, his legs and arms shaking before he stills completely. Blaine’s still groggy from his own orgasm, eyes blinking slowly and a happy grin on his face, and he’s not even sure Sebastian has come until he hears a whimpered, “Blaine” in his ear. Sebastian sags down on top of him, their bodies sweaty and slick and completely messy, and Blaine doesn’t even care. Not when he has Sebastian’s weight pressing him down into the mattress, when he can feel the soft scrape of Sebastian’s thumb tracing patterns against his neck.

“Do you want me to move?” Sebastian asks, his voice hoarse and scratchy, the way Blaine knows he always gets after they’ve finished. His weight is beginning to become too much and Blaine struggles to take in a deep breath, but he doesn’t want Sebastian anywhere else.

“No,” he hums happily, his palm flat and running up and down the length of Sebastian’s back. It’s as if he can’t get enough, his body craving Sebastian and to make up for lost time.

Sebastian laughs and presses a quick kiss to Blaine cheek, rolling off of Blaine and onto his side. He taps his upper arm, right before his shoulder, and Blaine scoots over, curling up and lying his head on Sebastian’s arm. Sebastian curls himself around Blaine and places a kiss to the top of his head.

“Don’t tell me you’re going soft on me now, Sebastian,” Blaine jokes. He feels fingers dig into his sides but he can’t force himself to squirm away.

“I didn’t hear you complaining about me being soft a few minutes ago,” Sebastian counters and Blaine’s whole body hums with contentment. This is exactly what he wants, what he thought he’d never want again. He closes his eyes and listens to Sebastian’s even breathing, his head rising and falling next to Sebastian’s chest.

“So this is for real, right?” Blaine asks, because he needs to be sure. “I didn’t just make this up, did I?”

Sebastian sighs and pulls him in tighter, until his face is pressed hard against the muscle of Sebastian’s chest, making it hard for him to breath. Blaine loves every second of it.

“I’m sorry that I gave you a reason to doubt me,” Sebastian says and the sincerity is evident in his voice. “I can’t promise that I’ll always be perfect, but I’m going to try. For you.” He pauses and Blaine wants to kiss him before he’s even finished. “Can we do that?”

Blaine has nothing left to say. Sebastian knows how he feels, knows exactly what he wants, and wants the same things too. So Blaine just nods.

“Good,” Sebastian says, smiling against Blaine’s temple. “Now, the most important question: who’s going to tell the Warblers?”

The joy that Blaine feel is something new and different, something he’s never really felt before, not like this. He thinks, “I love you,” but he doesn’t say it—not yet. There will be time for that later, when things are settled and back to normal, when neither of them are scared of what could happen. It doesn’t scare Blaine, he’s never been surer of anything. Sebastian is what he wants—all of him, not just parts. He wants Sebastian’s good and his bad, the difficult times and things that will just roll off their backs. He wants it all and as long as he’s with Sebastian, he knows they’ll manage.

“You can tell them,” Blaine says, hooking their ankles together. “But make sure to let Thad down easy.”

Chapter 11: Epilogue

Chapter Text

“Blaine, come on, just stop already,” Sebastian huffs, trying to bat Blaine’s fingers away from his tie. “It looks fine.” It’s cute—the way Sebastian pretends to be annoyed, how he tries to hide his smile while Blaine fiddles with the tie around his neck. The tie is actually mostly straight, maybe just a little off center, but Blaine wants an excuse to see Sebastian before their glee clubs preform.

“You really thing I’m going to let my boyfriend go out on stage at Sectionals with a crooked tie?” Blaine asks, fussing with the knot at Sebastian’s neck; loosening, then tightening, and back again. “In what world would I ever let that happen?” He teases. Sebastian just rolls his eyes but drops his hands, putting them into his pockets and letting Blaine finish tugging at the red and blue fabric.

“Are you finished yet?” Sebastian sighs, his eyes looking around the empty McKinley hallway. “These neon signs are making me nauseous.” He gestures towards the bright paper taped up to the walls proclaiming, “PEP RALLY THIS FRIDAY!” and “GO TITANS!”

“There,” Blaine says, tightening Sebastian’s tie for the final time. “Ready to go.”

Things aren’t perfect between them, but Blaine never expected them to be. He still gets nervous when Sebastian isn’t quick to answer a text late at night—until Blaine receives a picture on his phone of a pouting Sebastian holding his history book, a streak of yellow highlighter across his cheek. Blaine’s heart still drops when he sees a cute boy approach Sebastian at the movies while Blaine waits in line for popcorn—until he sees Sebastian ignore the boy completely before walking over to throw his arm around Blaine’s shoulder. Blaine still worries that this will be too hard for Sebastian, that he’ll change his mind and tell Blaine that being exclusive isn’t working out, that he doesn’t want the commitment—until Sebastian whispers in Blaine’s ear late one night as they’re falling asleep on the phone, “being with you is the easiest thing in the world. I don’t know what I was so scared of.”

They still have distance, and school, and glee, and preparing for college to take up the majority of their time, but they make sure to see each other at least once a week—usually Friday nights. “Keep with tradition,” Sebastian had said and Blaine hadn’t been able to argue, absolutely content to spend his weekends curled up on Sebastian’s bed and not at Scandals.

“Now,” Sebastian starts, letting his own fingers curl around Blaine’s black tie. “Try not to take it too badly when we beat you,” he says, smirking as he tugs Blaine closer, causing Blaine to stumble forward. Sebastian wraps his free arm around Blaine’s waist and Blaine lets himself be caught. “Careful. Wouldn’t want you to fall and break your talent.”

Blaine laughs, leaning into Sebastian’s chest before pulling away and stepping to the side to check his tie in the reflection of the trophy case. “The Warblers are great, but we’re going to mop the floor with you guys,” Blaine says confidently, practicing his smile in the glass.

“You’re lucky I like you, otherwise I wouldn’t tolerate that,” Sebastian says, stepping behind Blaine and checking his reflection, smoothing down a few stray hairs.

They haven’t said “love”, not yet, but Blaine thinks it—almost every day. He wants Sebastian to be the one to say it first, but it’s starting to become harder and harder to keep it inside. Sometimes Blaine has to bite his cheek or dig his fingers into his sides to keep from blurting it out, and sometimes—when he’s certain Sebastian is asleep—he mouths the words against Sebastian’s chest.

“What about a last minute switch?” Sebastian offers, wrapping his arm around Blaine’s waist and tugging him closer, until their hips bump together and Blaine’s shoulder is tucked into Sebastian’s side. “I’ll kick out one of the new kids and you can take his place. I’ll even make sure it’s a freshman so you at least have a chance of fitting into his uniform.”

Blaine digs his shoulder into Sebastian playfully, rolling his eyes, the teasing calming his nerves before they head up on stage. “Are you ever going to give that a rest?” Blaine asks, although he secretly enjoys every time Sebastian jokes about him coming back to Dalton.

“Unlikely,” he answers, and their eyes meet in the reflective glass.

“Sebastian!” Hunter’s deep voice echoes down the hallway. “We’re on in five. Let’s go!”

Sebastian sighs and pulls away, giving one last squeeze to Blaine’s hip before letting go. “Good luck. Knock ‘em dead.”

“Same to you and the guys,” Blaine says, and Sebastian doesn’t even hesitate to bend down and place a firm, quick kiss on Blaine’s lips. “I’ll see you at Breadstix after the competition, right?”

“Wouldn’t miss it,” Sebastian answers, smiling one last time before turning and jogging down the hallway to meet Hunter.

Blaine finds the rest of the New Directions in the choir room, huddled together in a circle while Mr. Schuester gives them his usual pre-performance pep talk. Blaine slides in between Sam and Tina, grabbing Tina’s hand. No one seems to notice that he was missing, besides Sam, who punches Blaine in the shoulder.

“Where were you, dude?” Sam whispers. “Joe made us each say a prayer and I panicked and said I was thankful for Bagel Bites.”

“Sorry, I had to wish Sebastian luck. The Warblers are on next,” Blaine explains. The New Directions know about Blaine and Sebastian and it’s mostly okay, only a few of the older members even remember who Jesse St. James is.

Mr. Schuester finishes up his speech, clapping his hands together in excitement. “Okay, guys. Let’s go cheer on The Warblers!”

The auditorium is already dark when they walk inside and Blaine quickly finds his seat, settling down in his chair and wiping his damp palms on his thighs. The Warblers are lined up on stage, covered in shadows as the spot line shines down on Hunter as he introduces them to the crowd. Blaine holds his breath until Sebastian steps out into the light, his lips pursed together in a whistle.

Both of the songs The Warblers preform are amazing. Blaine knows he should be worried about how his own group will fair against them, but he can’t be bothered. He only feels joy, pride, and awe as he watches Sebastian lead The Warblers into their second song.

Blaine is the first one out of his seat before Sebastian is done holding out the last note, jumping up and clapping his hands loudly until his palms start to sting. Blaine’s excited and proud and wants to turn to the people behind him and shout, “I love him!” while pointing to the stage. He settles for whooping loudly, his hands circled around his mouth to make the sound louder as it carries over to the stage. He gets a few strange looks from the other show choirs seated around him, but he doesn’t care. Sebastian’s smile is huge and Blaine’s matches, nothing but pure happiness racing through every inch of his body as he cheers for his boyfriend up on the stage.

@темы: Fanfiction

Глава 8.


Chapter 8

From Sebastian: The Warblers are doing movie night in the senior commons on Saturday.

From Blaine: I remember those days. Whose turn is it to pick the movie?

From Sebastian: Jeff. Or maybe Nick. I don’t know, I just overheard them talking about it.

From Blaine: Either way, be prepared for lots of naked girls and explosions.

From Sebastian: What do I have to do to get you to do to stay Friday night and endure the movie with me on Saturday? We can sit on that overstuffed chair and I’ll give you a handjob under the blanket.

From Blaine: I guess I can stay over.

--

From Sebastian: If I ask you about coffee stains on my blazer, will you open up to me about your song selection for sectionals?

From Blaine: Not a chance, Sebastian.

From Sebastian: What if I ask nicely?

From Blaine: You won’t.

From Sebastian: No. I won’t.

From Sebastian: What if I promise to fuck you first? Then will you tell me?

From Blaine: You won’t know unless you try.

--

“How do you feel about French food?”

“Sebastian?”

“You looked at your phone before you answered, you know it’s me. So, French food?”

“Well, I’ve never had it before.”

“What lowlifes were you surrounding yourself with before you met me?”

“I—“

“There’s a new place in Columbus that my dad can’t stop talking about. He took whichever girl he’s dating this week out to eat there.”

“That’s go od?”

“We should go there sometime.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Maybe next weekend?”

“Sure, yeah. Yeah, that’d be great.”

--

“Congratulations are in order.”

“They are?”

“To me. From you.”

“What am I congratulating you for, Sebastian?”

“Scoring the winning goal and sending the Dalton lacrosse team to the playoffs.”

“Really? Congratulations!”

“We play at home next Monday. If you wanted to come to the game.”

“And cheer you on?”

“Whatever, I don’t care. I just thought I’d let you know.”

“Can I make a sign for you and hold it up every time you score a goal?”

“I’m hanging up on you now.”

--

From Sebastian: Come help me pick out a camera next Wednesday?

From Blaine: Of course. : )

From Sebastian: I really hate that you use those.

From Blaine: It’s an adorable quirk and you love it.

From Sebastian: I really don’t.

From Blaine: : )

--

From Sebastian: My dad’s law office scored tickets to some Broadway show playing in Columbus in a few weeks. I tried pawning them off on the guys here but no one wants them. Do you want to go?

From Blaine: I know for a fact Trent would be interested.

From Sebastian: Whatever. Are you coming with me or not?

From Blaine: I’d love to.

--

“So tell me again which movie Jeff chose?” Blaine asks, his cellphone tucked in between his shoulder and his ear as he drives. It’s almost completely dark now, the sun setting earlier and earlier, and he flicks his headlights on, flooding the road with light.

“Do you think I was actually paying attention?” Sebastian asks, and Blaine can picture him as he says it: reclined back on his bed, arms tucked under his head, his long legs stretched out until his toes almost hang over the edge. Only a few more minutes and Blaine will be there to join him, curled up to his side or maybe pressed along his back.

Blaine laughs and switches the phone to his other ear. “I picked Casablanca three times in a row, until the council passed a rule on no black and white movies.”

Sebastian scoffs. “You disappoint me,” he starts, tsking Blaine’s movie choice. “Casablanca is completely overrated.”

“Excuse me?” Blaine says with mock offense. “That movie is a classic.” He hears background noise; clothes sliding against a scratchy comforter, the slam of a door shutting, shoes clicking on hardwood floors.

“And Humphrey Bogart, Blaine? Really? He’s not even remotely attractive. Give me Cary Grant any day,” Sebastian says and Blaine can hear his voice echoing off the walls of what must be an empty hallway.

“Are we really going to argue about Casablanca versus His Girl Friday?” Blaine asks as he turns into the Dalton campus. There are a few more cars here than there were last weekend, but the parking lot is still relatively deserted. “Because that’s not even a contest.”

He parks his car and reaches into the back seat for his overnight bag, no second guessing this time as he packed it at home. Sebastian wants him here, asked him to stay for the entire weekend. It makes Blaine feel light, giddy, happy in a way he can’t really describe. When he turns back around he sees Sebastian stretched out against the brick of the dorm building, his shoulders pressed back and his legs kicked out in front of him. He’s still wearing his Dalton uniform except for the tie and his smile is wide and real when he sees Blaine.

“They’re not even the same genre,” Sebastian says and Blaine is momentarily confused until he realizes that they’re still on the phone. He watches as Sebastian’s lips are just a split second off from the words he hears in his ear. “Are you going to stay in your car all night or what?”

He hangs up his phone quickly, shoving it into his pocket as he grabs his bag and opens his door. He tries to hold back, but he’s jogging before he even realizes it’s happening, crossing over to Sebastian as quickly as he can. Sebastian gives him a smirk and pushes off the wall, meeting Blaine and bumping their shoulders together. Blaine tightens his grip on his overnight bag.

“So should we continue on about how wrong you are?” Sebastian asks as they fall into step, Blaine having to walk just a bit quicker to keep up with Sebastian’s long legs.

Blaine just rolls his eyes and ignores Sebastian’s teasing, holding the door opening for them as they step inside. “Can we at least agree on Audrey Hepburn?” he asks as they walk over to the table for Blaine to sign in. It’s the same kid who signed him in last time, but this time he stays quiet, silently writing down Blaine’s information and ignoring Sebastian’s stare. He smiles as he hands Blaine back his license. Blaine mouths ‘thank you’ as he slides his ID back into his wallet.

“I prefer Katharine,” Sebastian replies and Blaine just huffs out a laugh.

“Now you’re just arguing for the sake of it,” Blaine says as they make their way down the hallways and to Sebastian’s dorm room.

“Maybe I just want to get you riled up,” Sebastian says as they walk, Blaine sticking close to his side, their fingers brushing together as their arms swing between them. Blaine can feel the words bubbling up in his throat, questions racing in the back of his head. He wants to tell Sebastian how he feels; how this is more than just sex, more than just a hook up, how he’s had feelings that he knows are real and true for weeks now, how he’s starting to suspect that Sebastian might too. He wants to hold Sebastian’s hand and tell him that it’s okay if he feels more for Blaine than he ever expected, that Blaine didn’t plan on this happening either, that they’ll figure this whole thing out together. Sebastian’s fingers start to curl around Blaine’s and he’s so, so sure.

“Blaine Anderson!” rings out down the empty hallway and Sebastian’s hand slowly falls away. Blaine almost reaches out for it, but Sebastian is tucking his hands into his pockets, nodding to the person coming up behind them.

“Nick!” Blaine says, his voice echoing off the walls, stretching out his arms as Nick moves closer.

“Sebastian didn’t mention you were going to be here tonight,” Nick says as he pulls back from the hug, his smile huge and wide and so genuine. Blaine’s heart tugs because he misses this, and it’s so much worse with Sebastian at his side. “Movie night is tomorrow,” Nick tells them, as if they weren’t aware.

“We know when it is,” Sebastian says, and Blaine notices how his eyes are drifting down the hall and focusing on the door to his room.

“So what are you doing here tonight?” Nick asks, continuing the conversation when it’s obvious to Blaine that Sebastian just wants it to be over.

“Well, we’re just—“ Blaine trails off, looking to Sebastian.

“We’re just hanging out, watching a quality movie tonight before we have to sit through whatever garbage you and Jeff picked for tomorrow,” Sebastian says as he starts to move away, tugging on the sleeve of Blaine’s coat.

“Wait,” Nick says, still oblivious to Sebastian’s attempt at leaving. “So are you two, like, together?” His eyes are big and hopeful and Blaine wants to pull him into another hug.

“We’ll see you tomorrow night,” Sebastian says, turning away completely and walking towards his room. Blaine tries to say goodbye to Nick, to form some sort of sentence about how it was good to see him or how he’s looking forward to the movie tomorrow night, but it won’t come. He tosses a quick wave over his shoulder and catches up to Sebastian quickly. He wants to ask him why he didn’t say no to Nick, why he didn’t immediately laugh at the suggestion that they were dating. Hopes swells in his chest and he promises himself he’ll bring it up to Sebastian this weekend; maybe when they’re curled together in Sebastian’s bed, hidden safe under the covers, Sebastian’s thumb running along the lines of Blaine’s hipbones and his guard let down.

“They fall all over you,” Sebastian says as he unlocks his door and lets both of them inside. “It’s disgusting. Nick looks at you like you just stepped out of Crawford Country Day.”

“Jealous?” Blaine asks. He’s joking, it’s clear in his tone and he says it with a smile, but Sebastian’s jaw sets in a hard line and he tugs at the zipper of Blaine’s jacket.

“Like I’d ever be jealous of Nick,” Sebastian says, pulling Blaine’s coat off his shoulders and tossing it onto his computer chair. His hands grab at Blaine’s hip possessively. “He thinks his uniform pants double as napkins and have you seen the posters in his room?”

“Mmm,” Blaine hums, neither agreeing or disagreeing, just a soft buzz as Sebastian leans forward and places soft, almost innocent kisses on Blaine’s neck. He reaches his arms around and runs his fingers up Sebastian’s back, the familiar feeling of his blazer rubbing against the pads of Blaine’s fingers.

“Come on,” Sebastian urges, pulling at Blaine’s hips while they stumble over to the bed. They take a moment to slip their shoes off and then Blaine is climbing across the mattress, knees and palms dragging along the covers, until he reaches the pillows and turns, falling onto his back. He lets his knees fall apart before Sebastian even has to ask, knows by now the way Sebastian likes to climb up his body and fit himself into the small V between Blaine’s legs.

They don’t even need to say anything as they move, knowing and anticipating what the other wants. Blaine’s hands grab at the lapels on Sebastian’s blazer, pulling him up closer as Sebastian’s fingers easily work the small buttons of Blaine’s cardigan open. They’re good at this now after so many times and Blaine wonders if Sebastian can see it, if he even notices how effortlessly they move together. But then Blaine doesn’t really have to wonder at all when Sebastian stops at the button in the middle of Blaine’s stomach, pausing to smile and drop a quick kiss to Blaine’s lips before pulling back and finishing. Blaine lets go of Sebastian’s blazer to rise up on his elbows, helping Sebastian pull his cardigan off his arms, his shirt underneath tugged up off his shoulders and over his head easily.

“Missed you,” Sebastian confesses against Blaine’s neck, fitting his nose into the slope of Blaine’s shoulder, dragging his lips over to the dip of Blaine’s throat. It’s slow, almost sweet, not rushed the way Sebastian usually is when they’re alone.

“I missed you, too,” Blaine says once he gets his mouth working again, Sebastian’s words stuck in his ears and maybe his heart.

Sebastian takes his time, kisses and nips and licks slowly down Blaine’s neck until he reaches his chest. They have all the time in the world right now, could stay just like this all through the night and until the sun comes up in the morning. They have nowhere else to be, no responsibilities to think about, locked away in Sebastian’s dorm room. It’s getting harder for Blaine to breathe, the pleasure a heavy weight over him and a dull ache in his lungs as Sebastian continues placing kisses all along Blaine’s chest. It’s sensual and intimate in a way Blaine’s not used to, not with Sebastian. Of course they’ve fucked, but the way Sebastian is treating him right now is different; like Blaine is important and he is so ready to tell Sebastian exactly how he feels. He’s ready to say it, fear and urgency mixing dangerously in his stomach. He opens his mouth, but stops when he hears murmured words as Sebastian kisses the skin that’s pulled tight over his ribs. He can’t make out most of it, the words getting lost over the curves and dips and his stomach, but then he hears it, soft and low but crystal clear to Blaine’s ears.

“I fucking love you.” It leaves Sebastian’s mouth quickly, his lips already forgetting the words as they brush against the bones of Blaine’s hips.

“What?” Blaine says, frantic and unstable, pushing up onto his elbows and his heart pounding so loudly in his ears. The words play on a loop, one right after another, repeating over and over as he stares down at Sebastian’s confused face. “What did you say?”

“I said, ‘I love fucking you’,” Sebastian clarifies, smirking as he moves lower and lower down Blaine’s stomach. “And if you’re done asking questions, I’d like to get on with it.” He’s smiling, so completely unaware of what he said, and he sinks his teeth into the soft skin right above the buckle on Blaine’s pants.

“No,” Blaine says, shaking his head wildly. “You didn’t say that. No.” He’s confused, feels as though his heart might beat out of his chest, but he’s absolutely sure he heard Sebastian right.

Sebastian stops, pulling back from Blaine’s stomach, and cocks an eyebrow. “Okay,” he says slowly, concern written on his face when he sees the way Blaine’s hands have started shaking. “What do you think I said? And why are you freaking out?”

He is freaking out. His breath is stuck in his lungs and his eyes sting and it feels like there’s something lodged in his throat. He lets out a breath and takes a deep one back in, tries to form the words but can’t quite seem to make his mouth move. Sebastian waits, staring up at him with expectant eyes. Blaine breathes again.

“You said,” he starts and then stops. He realizes this could ruin everything, could end what they have if he tells Sebastian the truth. But there’s hope swirling in his stomach, a dangerous amount, and he thinks of the way Sebastian looks at him lately; with fondness and care and maybe, just maybe, a little bit of love, too. He has to tell Sebastian, has to take the chance that Sebastian feels the same. “You said, ‘I fucking love you’.” The room is silent and Blaine swears he can hear Sebastian’s heartbeat. He closes his eyes and hopes, hopes so hard that Sebastian will tell him what he wants to hear. He knows Sebastian has feelings for him, no matter what the logical part of his brain keeps telling him.

Sebastian sighs and pulls back from Blaine’s stomach, scooting down the bed until they’re no longer touching at all and Blaine feels like he’s been covered in ice water. He wraps his arms around his middle while Sebastian fidgets at the foot of his bed.

“Blaine…” he starts and Blaine’s heart drops down into his stomach like a rock, and he knows. He knows the voice that Sebastian is using; the same voice his parents use when they’re disappointed in him. There’s no air left in the room and all he wants to do is leave before Sebastian can say any more, but his limbs feel like lead and he stays in place on the bed. “I didn’t mean it like that. I just mixed up my words,” Sebastian says, his eyes locked down and nowhere near Blaine. “It’s not a big deal. Let’s just forget it happened, okay?” Sebastian finally looks up and smirks and the quirk of his lips makes Blaine sick to his stomach. “Now, where were we?”

The headboard bumps into Blaine’s back before he’s even realizes that he’s moved, his head thumping against the hard plaster of the wall behind Sebastian’s bed. He shakes his head, trying to get his voice to work. “No,” he says finally, strangled around the lump in his throat. He swallows hard but the lump stays. “I have to go,” he says quickly, his hands shaking as he hastily tries to button up his sweater. He can’t seem to get his fingers to work and he blinks back tears. He won’t cry. He won’t.

“Come on, Blaine,” Sebastian tries again, urging him. “Just stay, alright? You don’t have to go.”

But he can’t stay. He needs to get this out, even if he knows nothing will come of it besides pain and heartache.

“I can’t—I can’t pretend anymore,” Blaine says softly, looking down to where his fingers are still fiddling with the buttons on his cardigan. He can’t look at Sebastian, can’t take the pity and disappointment that he’s sure is there. “I’ve had sex without feelings before, I’ve done it. And maybe that’s what this started out as, but it’s not anymore. Not for me.” He needs to get through this, to keep going before he convinces himself that this was all a horrible idea. “And if you don’t feel the same way.” Blaine pauses and takes three deep breaths, in and out, steadying himself for what he’s about to say. “If you don’t feel the same way, then I can’t do this anymore.”

The room is silent as Blaine finishes, but he still can’t bring himself to look up. He waits for Sebastian to say something —anything —but the only sounds are Blaine’s breathing and doors shutting somewhere off in the distance.

“I’m going to go,” Blaine says because he can’t stay, he can’t be here surrounded by silence when all he wants is just a few words. He turns to slide off the bed when Sebastian’s hand catches him by the ankle, stilling his movements.

“What do you want?” Sebastian asks and he’s not desperate, he never is, but he’s close.

“Honestly?” Blaine asks and finally looks up. Sebastian’s eyes are wide open, his smirk gone. “I want to be your boyfriend.” No more side-stepping or playing games, no more beating around the bush. Everything is out there now, so Blaine continues. “And I think you want that, too.”

The hand around Blaine’s ankle tightens, Sebastian’s fingers holding tightly onto the bone. “I don’t do boyfriends or monogamy, you know that,” he says. “Fuck, Blaine. I told you that right from the start.”

“Tell me you’ve slept with someone else since we got together,” Blaine challenges. “Tell me it hasn’t only been me.” He keeps his eyes locked with Sebastian, keeping strong on the outside but terrified of what Sebastian might say. He already feels like his heart is breaking apart bit by bit and he prepares himself for the truth that there have been other guys.

“That’s not the point,” Sebastian says quickly. “So what, I haven’t fucked anyone else in a few months. I’m still not—I can’t be—fuck. Everything was going so well, why’d you have to say anything?”

Blaine shrugs, defeated, knows Sebastian has made up his mind. “I can’t stop how I feel and I’m not going to lie about it anymore,” he says, his fingers finally working enough to slip the last few buttons through their holes. He tugs his ankle out of Sebastian’s grip and slides off the bed, his legs unsteady as he stands. “You have to understand that I didn’t think this would happen. I didn’t think I’d ever feel this way about someone again.” He scans the room, finding his overnight bag. He laughs, the sound hollow as it echoes in the empty room, remembering how excited he had been just a few short hours ago. He grips the handle tight and turns back to Sebastian, who hasn’t moved from his spot on the bed. “I didn’t mean for this to happen, but it did. And I can’t keep falling harder and harder while I’m still just a fuck buddy for you.”

Sebastian sighs loudly, running his hand through hair and gripping it at the end. Blaine’s spent enough time with him over the past few months to know he wants to say something; probably to curse at Blaine for messing up a good thing, to be annoyed that he’s going to have to go back to Scandals to find another guy to fuck. Blaine’s eyes burn and there’s a tightness in his lungs and he needs to get out of here, right now.

“Just—“ Blaine starts, his hand gripping the door handle and hearing it shake. “Don’t call me or text me. Please.” He doesn’t wait for Sebastian’s answer, opening the door before he can change his mind and fall back into bed. It would be so easy; to kiss Sebastian and just forget he ever said anything, to go back to the way things were. But he can’t, he knows he can’t, even if his entire body feels like it’s being pulled back to Sebastian’s dorm room as he drags his feet down the long hallways and back to his car.

He’s thankful that he doesn’t run into any Warblers, not wanting to deal with their questions or eagerness to fix whatever’s wrong with him. He moves as quickly as his body will carry him, careful not to break into a full out run and raise suspicion from any teachers that happen to still be around. He makes it back to his car completely by memory; taking corners without looking up, his hands scraping against the door as he pushes it open and making his way outside, his vision blurred with unshed tears. The cold air calms him down a bit, enough to take a few full breaths as he scans the parking lot for his car. His blinks, clearing his eyes and trying to concentrate, his mind a jumbled mess as he spots his car a few yards away and starts walking over. His keys tremble in his hands and it takes him three tries to unlock the door.

“Stupid,” he mumbles to himself, shaking his head as he starts his car and begins to drive. “I’m so stupid,” he repeats. He knew what he was getting into when he started sleeping with Sebastian, knew that all Sebastian wanted was sex and that he could never give him more. And that was fine at first, it was enough. Blaine didn’t want a boyfriend; someone who would ignore his calls, who would prioritize his job over their relationship. He didn’t want the effort when in the end, it might have been all be for nothing.

But Sebastian didn’t do any of those things—didn’t dump Blaine’s call to voicemail or ignore him for someone more important. It makes Blaine’s heart ache and his chest squeeze up tight, but he knows Sebastian would have been worth the effort.

He takes the long way home to try and clear his head. He thinks about glee club, about Cooper out in LA, what his mom made for dinner last night and when he last took his car for an oil change. He keeps his mind off of Sebastian; doesn’t think about his wide smile or his pleased smirk, the way his blazer sits on his shoulders, how his face lit up each time he spotted Blaine across the bar at Scandals, his warm hands and his cold toes, each easy compliment that he never hesitated to hand out. He misses Sebastian already and he feels the tears welling up again, sitting on the rims of his eyes but not spilling over. He needs to focus on driving, on getting home safely, not on the part of his heart that he just left in a dorm room at Dalton.

It’s late by the time he pulls into his driveway, all of the lights off and the house dark. He takes an unsteady breath in and gets out of the car, knowing he has to be quiet so he doesn’t wake his parents. His overnight bag mocks him from the passenger seat and he grabs it before slamming his car door shut.

He sneaks inside, not wanting to deal with the questions his parents will inevitably have. He wants to forget that this night ever happened, wipe it from his memory completely, but he knows it’s useless. His fingers already itch to text Sebastian, to talk until Sebastian invites him back to Dalton. He doesn’t, though. He can’t see Sebastian when he made it so perfectly clear that he doesn’t feel the same, that he doesn’t want Blaine for anything more than sex. Blaine has been hurt too much, too frequently, and he doesn’t want to deal with it anymore.

The lights are off in his room and he leaves them that way, dropping his bag to the floor and stumbling over to his bed. He presses himself into the mattress, burying his face in his pillows and finally allowing himself to cry. He cries until his pillow is damp and he can’t catch his breath, and then he starts to yell, the pillow muffling his exhausted voice. He shouts out all the horrible things he’s feeling, until his voice is hoarse and his throat hurts and he can’t hear the sound in his ears anymore.

@темы: Fanfiction

Глава 6.


Chapter 6

It’s loud inside Breadsticks; Sam’s election playlist (that consists mostly of different versions of “Born in the USA”) blaring through speakers that are tucked into the corner of the ceiling, everyone happy and boisterous as they offer Blaine congratulations. It’s mostly just the glee club, a couple of parents, and a few unlucky patrons who are crowded into the restaurant tonight. It should be overwhelming, every time someone comes up to him and slaps him on the back in congratulations, but Blaine finds that he can’t be anything other than excited. He won, he’s senior class president, his hard work and dedication had paid off. He feels like he’s on top of the world, his cheeks sore from smiling so hard. He tries to think of the last time he was simply this happy, assuming it will take a while for him to think back to a time when he felt like this. He shocks himself when he remembers instantly, just a few days before, when he was curled up on Sebastian’s bed.

Everyone seems to be occupied, so Blaine grabs his coat and steps outside, reaching into his pocket for his phone. He walks down the length of the sidewalk and away from the door, pressing his back against the hard wall as he thumbs through his contacts. He wants to call someone, to share his news and ramble on about everything he has planned as class president. His thumb pauses over Cooper’s name. He knows his brother will be happy for him and gladly listen as Blaine tells him all about winning the debate, but he remembers the text he got the night before from Cooper, telling Blaine that he would be in auditions all day and to wish him luck. He scrolls passed Cooper, passed H I J K L, until he stops at Sebastian’s name. He hesitates for a few seconds before hitting ‘call’. It barely rings twice.

“And to what do I owe the pleasure?” Sebastian says as he answers the phone. Blaine grins and kicks at the sidewalk with the toe of his shoe, tracing cracks in the concrete. It settles him to hear Sebastian’s voice, his emotions all over the place after winning. He’s excited and nervous and anxious and a million different other things, but it all floats away as Sebastian speaks into his ear.

“Hey,” Blaine says softly, affectionately, even though he tries not to. “I have some good news.”

“You’re leaving that joke of a school,” Sebastian says quickly. Blaine knows he’s joking, but he swears he hears hope in Sebastian’s voice.

“Actually, it’s kind of the opposite.” He pauses, wondering how Sebastian will respond. “I ran for senior class president and won.” He’s giddy saying it, excited to share his important news with Sebastian. He wants Sebastian to be happy for him, to congratulate him, to wash away the memory of how ambivalent Kurt was when Blaine brought up the idea of running for president over the summer.

Sebastian doesn’t say anything. It can’t be more than ten seconds, but the silence seems to stretch on forever and he mentally kicks himself for even mentioning it.

“You didn’t tell me you were running,” Sebastian says finally. His voice is soft and just a little dejected and Blaine never would have guessed that this is how Sebastian was going to react. He’s not even sure how to respond, his shoulders pressed against the stucco wall and his mouth slightly open, no words coming out.

“I—I didn’t think—“ Blaine starts, unsure of how to finish, but Sebastian cuts him off.

“Well I guess I can cross ‘fuck a politician’ off my bucket list,” Sebastian says, and for some reason that makes Blaine’s stomach lurch even more. It’s an obvious out and Blaine takes it, even if he feels like a bit of a coward for it.

“I can’t even imagine what’s on your bucket list,” Blaine says, steering the conversation away from something more serious.

“Sex in public was on there, but now thanks to you…” Sebastian trails off, his voice nothing more than a deep rumble in Blaine’s ear. He remembers two weeks ago; when they were crowded into that tiny bathroom stall, Sebastian on his knees and his mouth on Blaine’s cock. Despite the cold weather Blaine feels his entire body heat up. They can’t do this now, not when Blaine has an entire restaurant full of people waiting for him.

“Sebastian,” Blaine says, almost scolding, but Sebastian only chuckles in response. “I still have to give my acceptance speech.”

“You know, phone sex is on the list, too,” Sebastian says suggestively.

“I’m hanging up now,” Blaine laughs, shaking his head. He tries to keep the hope out of his voice when he asks, “So I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Looking forward to it,” Sebastian says. He adds more seriously, “Congratulations, Blaine.”

They hang up and Blaine stays outside for just a few minutes longer, wondering what he’s gotten himself into, until Sam sticks his head out of the door and calls out that people are expecting him back inside.

--

Blaine stands at the foot of his bed, hands on his hips, his overnight bag out with his clothes folded neatly inside. It’s seven o’clock and he’s just gotten the text from Sebastian, roommate just left. Come over whenever. He can’t bring himself to ask if Sebastian wants him to stay the night, instead, he’s standing in the middle of his room, staring at his bag as if it has all the answers. He knows what he wants to hear; to have Sebastian tell him to pack enough clothes for two days so they can spend the entire weekend together, to bring his toothbrush and set it down on the bathroom counter, lined up right next to Sebastian’s. The thought settles warmly in his chest before he shakes his head. He knows there’s a good chance they’ll fuck and Sebastian will send him on his way, back home and away from Dalton. He can picture Sebastian’s confused face if he shows up with his overnight bag slung over his shoulder, puzzled before telling Blaine that he didn’t plan on asking him to stay the night. It’s an awful thought, makes Blaine’s stomach turn, and he quickly shoves his bag under his bed, his decision made. He grabs the sweatpants he borrowed from Sebastian and leaves his room before he can change his mind.

“I’m going over Tina’s,” Blaine call out down the hallway, his voice carrying over to his mother who’s sitting at the kitchen table, filling in a crossword puzzle.

“Have fun, dear,” she says, turning her cheek to the side for Blaine to kiss. “Will you be home tonight?”

Blaine pauses because he doesn’t know. He wants to say no, he won’t be home. He wants to go to Dalton and stay as long as Sebastian will have him. He figures it’s the safest answer, anyway. If Sebastian asks him to leave, he can always come home and tell his parents that he hadn’t been feeling well. He clings to the chance that Sebastian will ask him to stay. “No, I’m sleeping over.” He doesn’t like lying to his mother, but it’s not as if he can stay away from Sebastian.

“Alright then. Have a good night,” his mother says, her eyes cast down as her pencil scratches against the newspaper.

--

It’s strange pulling into the Dalton parking lot this time, his mind flooding with memories from the last time he was here. It was only three days ago, but between finishing his speech and winning class president, it seems like so much longer. He quickly sends Sebastian a text letting him know that he’s arrived and leans back in his seat, breathing deep and even, trying to calm his excited nerves. He won’t let himself get worked up over this, even if he wants to, downplaying the entire thing as he waits for Sebastian to text him back.

There’s a tapping on his window and Blaine jumps, his eyes snapping open as he turns to face the noise. Sebastian is smiling and laughing on the other side of the glass, his hands in his pockets as he gives Blaine a small nod. Blaine tries to catch his breath and calm his heart that’s been racing since before he even pulled into the Dalton parking lot.

“Boo,” Sebastian says as Blaine steps out of the car. Blaine smiles before he can even stop himself, his body physically reacting to being near Sebastian. His arms pull towards Sebastian as if they’re magnetized, knowing how perfectly they fit around Sebastian’s shoulders. Sebastian’s hands stay jammed in his pocket, no hint of movement, and Blaine quickly changes directions, lifting his arms above his head as he pretends to stretch after the drive. The movement is awkward and Sebastian quirks his eyebrows, smiling as Blaine’s cheeks turn red while he shrugs his shoulders.

“You want to head inside?” Blaine asks. He doesn’t want to seem too eager, but they both know the reason he’s here.

“Follow me,” Sebastian says, placing his hand low on Blaine’s back and guiding him through the parking lot. There’s no doubt that Blaine knows his way around Dalton, probably better than Sebastian does, but he doesn’t try to step away from Sebastian’s touch. It’s easy and casual, Sebastian’s hand fitting in the slope of muscle perfectly, as if this is something they do all the time. Blaine closes his eyes, just for a second, and imagines what it would be like if this was every day; if he still wore the red and navy blue, if he was here at Dalton with Sebastian, sharing classes and gossip and striped ties. He shakes his head to clear his thoughts as Sebastian opens the door for him, guiding him over to the table and chair where a student is sitting.

“Signing him in, Sebastian?” The kid asks. Blaine knows the drill from his time at Dalton and takes his license out of his wallet so the student working the sign in table can take down his information. He opens up the notebook and doesn’t write down more than a few words before looking back up. “Wait, you’re Blaine Anderson?”

Blaine’s confused as to how this boy knows his name, wondering if he should recognize him from his time at Dalton. “That’s me,” he says, remembering his manners and reaching across the table to shake the boy’s hand. “I’m sorry, do we know each other?”

The boy laughs and shakes his head. “No, not at all. I’m just a freshman, but you’re like Warbler royalty. And this guy,” the kid jerks his thumb over at Sebastian, “won’t stop talking about you. I swear he’s brought you up at every practice since school started.”

“Are we done here?” Sebastian says quickly, reaching over and grabbing Blaine’s license from where it sits on the table. Blaine notices how Sebastian fumbles as he tries to pick it up, dropping the ID a few times before thrusting it into Blaine’s hands. “Here. Now let’s go.”

“It was nice meeting you,” Blaine calls over his shoulder as Sebastian leads him away. He wants to question Sebastian about what just happened; why people who never went to school with Blaine know who he is, why Sebastian brings up Blaine at every practice when he hasn’t gone to Dalton in over a year and belongs to a rival show choir. But he keeps his mouth shut, keeps his questions inside, and follows Sebastian down the hall, holding out hope that maybe Sebastian feels the same way he does.

They make their way through the halls, an easy silence between them, their hands and elbows brushing together when they step to the side to let other students pass. It feels strange to step inside Sebastian’s room without the rush to take their clothes off, labored breathing and lips everywhere. Every other time they’ve been alone together like this, it’s been because they can’t keep their hands off each other, can’t stop themselves from wanting more. But while Blaine wants Sebastian —that feeling is constant and never goes away —it’s different this time; slower, not as rushed or immediate. It’s different, but it’s nice, and Blaine finds himself wanting to get used to it, to come to Sebastian’s dorm room after school and just do homework or watch a movie.

But when Sebastian closes the door behind them and backs Blaine up against it, all thoughts of homework and movies fly away, replaced with Sebastian’s smirk as he laces their fingers together and slowly brings Blaine’s hands above his head, pressing them against the wood.

“Don’t let that go to your head,” Sebastian says, his hands gripping tighter around Blaine’s wrists as he leans down to mouth at the side of Blaine’s neck. “Hunter asked about old Warblers and your name got brought up. That’s it,” he says, as if he’s trying to convince himself.

“Whatever you say, Sebastian,” Blaine teases, his words turning into a gasp as Sebastian nips at the column of his neck. It’s only been three days since he was in this exact position, pressed along this same door, but his body is craving more. He doesn’t believe Sebastian for a second, can already recognize the small tells that convince Blaine he isn’t telling the truth—the way his eyes flick to the side, the way he tries to distract Blaine from his words by sliding their hips together. Blaine doesn’t say anything more, leaves it alone out of fear that calling Sebastian out on his lies might backfire in his face. He wants to, wants to be sure that they’re on the same page, but he can’t find the courage to spit the words out. His stomach twists and he blames it on the way Sebastian has jammed their knees together, rubbing slow circles with his hips, breathing deep and steady against Blaine’s neck.

“Let’s move this over to the bed, hmm?” Sebastian suggests, still holding Blaine’s hands high above his head. Blaine is reluctant to move away, fully enjoying how Sebastian is pinning his wrists and hips to the door. He’s barely standing; his body loose and draping against the door as Sebastian holds him in place, small whimpers leaving his mouth as Sebastian sucks tiny marks under the collar of his shirt. It feels so good and he’s not sure he can even make it over to the bed, but then Sebastian is pulling away and twisting his fingers into the front of Blaine’s polo, another arm hooking around his waist to keep him upright as he drags him over to the bed.

They fall down together, quickly arranging themselves on their sides in order to fit on the small bed. Their hands tangle as they immediately go for buttons and belts, laughing their way through it when they can’t seem to accomplish much of anything. Sebastian presses a kiss to Blaine’s mouth and Blaine focuses on how Sebastian’s teeth feel digging into his lips and not on his shaking fingers. The kiss slows everything down long enough for them to navigate their hands between their bodies, Sebastian’s fingers opening Blaine’s jeans and tugging them down just enough to slide his hand through the layer of his underwear. Blaine bucks his hips at the contact, stuttering out a breath as Sebastian wraps his fingers around Blaine’s cock.

“How do you want it?” Sebastian asks, and Blaine is amazed at how composed his voice is. Blaine feels like his insides are breaking, cracking and splitting as Sebastian moves his hand with purposeful strokes. Blaine realizes with sudden clarity that he will never tire of this, will never be done wanting Sebastian in every way possible.

“Just like this,” Blaine gasps, finally unbuttoning Sebastian’s scratchy uniform pants and shoving his hand inside. Even though he wants Sebastian inside of him, pushing and fucking and stretching him open, he doesn’t want to wait—can’t wait, not when his stomach is already clenching hotly, his brain dizzy as Sebastian runs his palm along the length of his cock. “Please, like this. Don’t stop.”

Sebastian groans and moves his hand quicker, his hips pushing up into Blaine’s fist. The angle is terrible; the bed is so small and his wrist is already starting to cramp, but it’s worth it to be this close, to have Sebastian’s chest pressed up against his own and to feel Sebastian’s warm breath catch in the dip of his neck.

“You’re so fucking hot,” Sebastian groans, tightening his grip, moving his hand the way he knows Blaine likes. Blaine buries his face in Sebastian’s neck, panting against hot skin as he quickens his pace. “So perfect. Can’t wait to fuck you,” Sebastian continues and Blaine can feel himself throb in response, his eyes slamming shut as he tries to hold out just a little bit longer, but it’s useless. Sebastian is whispering filthy words in his ear and his fist is tight and quick, pushing Blaine closer and closer to the edge.

“Are you close?” Blaine asks. He tries to move his hand the way he knows Sebastian likes, but he can’t focus on anything besides the way Sebastian’s fingers feel wrapped around him.

“Yeah,” Sebastian says. “Just keep doing that, a little tighter—yeah, yeah,” Sebastian mumbles, his voice nothing more than a growl in Blaine’s ear. It’s so fucking hot to hear Sebastian losing it, to know that he’s the one causing it. His entire body throbs as he listens to soft pants and grunts leave Sebastian’s mouth, Blaine’s name spliced in between them.

He’s close, so fucking close that he can’t even concentrate on making this good for Sebastian, even though he wants to. He wants to rock Sebastian’s world, give him the best he’s ever had every time they’re together, but he can’t think about what his own hand is doing to Sebastian’s cock when he feels like his blood is going to boil. All it takes is one extra hard pull, Sebastian’s palm sliding wetly over the head of his cock, and Blaine is coming, unconscious to everything around him. He doesn’t know if he shouts or swears or praises god, his mind completely blanking as he spills all over Sebastian’s hand.

He’s finally coming back, the fog clearing from his brain, when he feels Sebastian press a light kiss to his cheek. He looks down and sees his hand has stilled around Sebastian’s softening cock. He’s momentarily upset that he missed Sebastian come, his desperate sounds and the incredible look on his face, but Sebastian is rolling over, grabbing a box of tissues from his nightstand and cleaning them both up. He reaches across Blaine’s body, his chest pressing Blaine into the mattress and making Blaine’s breath catch, and throws the tissues in a small trashcan. He rolls back over and settles in on his side, the same position they were both in just minutes ago, and gently tucks Blaine back into his boxer briefs, not bothering to zip his pants up.

Blaine waits for Sebastian to say something, to ask him to stay or tell him to leave, but he says nothing. His eyes are closed and his breathing is even, one of his hands laying casually on the bump of Blaine’s hip. Blaine keeps still and then counts to ten before saying anything.

“Sebastian?” He asks, shifting just a bit on the bed.

“What?” Sebastian responds, his voice deep and scratchy around the edges, his eyes remaining closed.

“What are we doing?” Blaine asks and he means it in a million different ways. He holds his breath and waits.

“We’re enjoying the afterglow and you’re ruining it,” Sebastian says, but there’s a smirk on his lips that lets Blaine know he’s joking. He knows Sebastian doesn’t let his guard down very often—or at all—and his heart beats faster knowing that he’s the one who gets to see Sebastian like this.

“Do you want me to go?” Blaine asks quietly, pretending to joke but really being afraid of the answer.

“Shut up, Blaine,” Sebastian says fondly, tugging Blaine closer until their chests are tucked together. “You’re helping me with my history paper after this.”

--

Blaine ends up back in Sebastian’s sweatpants, the material hanging low on his waist as he settles in next to him, both of them on their stomachs and with their thighs and hips pressed together as they open Sebastian’s history book in front of them. Sebastian explains the essay to him and it seems pretty straight forward, but he knows how much more difficult the grading curve is at Dalton as opposed to McKinley.

“Do you have a notebook I could take down some notes in?” Blaine asks, eyes scanning the page of the book in front of them, picking out important names and dates.

“Who still writes notes on paper? Don’t you use a laptop?” Sebastian asks. He dressed down too, finally out of his uniform, wearing a pair of loose basketball shorts and a deep green henley. Blaine has never seen him like this before and he looks almost vulnerable without the protection of his Dalton blazer.

Blaine shrugs. “I hate the clicking sound of a keyboard,” he says, watching as Sebastian rolls his eyes. “And I feel like I remember things better when I write them down.”

“Only you, Blaine,” Sebastian says, but it’s said with such fondness, like Sebastian is happy to know these little quirks, that it makes Blaine flush.

Sebastian rolls off of his stomach and reaches down underneath his bed, pulling out his book bag and looking for a notebook for Blaine. It hits Blaine suddenly that this is how it could have always been, if he had never transferred, if he had stayed at Dalton. He could be curled up on Sebastian’s bed every night, taking notes or studying for a test or talking about what happened during Warbler practice. He would know which drawers Sebastian keeps his spare ties in and which side of the bed he prefers to sleep on.

He’s knocked out of his thoughts when Sebastian tosses the notebook across the bed, hitting Blaine in the shoulder.

“Don’t get ink on my sheets,” Sebastian says, settling back down on his stomach. He has a notebook of his own and Blaine quirks on eyebrow at him. “What? I don’t want to annoy your delicate sensibilities with the horrifying sound of a keyboard.”

They work quietly for almost an hour, taking down notes and piecing Sebastian’s essay together. It’s domestic in a way that Blaine craves from Sebastian, happy down to his bones knowing that they can do more than just fuck. He’s about to turn the page of his notebook when Sebastian snatches it away and drops everything from the bed onto the floor.

“I’m bored,” he sighs, turning over onto his back and stretching his arms over his head, pillowing them under the back of his neck. Blaine is ready for Sebastian to initiate something, a not so subtle hand on the front of his pants or a comment about getting him on all fours. It never comes, and instead Sebastian asks, “What are you doing when you graduate?”

Blaine’s caught completely off guard. No one has asked him about his plans after high school. His parents assume he has it under control and he’s yet to be called into Miss Pillsbury’s office to talk about colleges and universities. The fact that Sebastian is the first person to ask him without any bullshit attached makes his vision go blurry.

“I’m not sure, exactly,” he answers honestly. He doesn’t know if that’s the right move, if Sebastian even cares about his college plans or if he’s just making small talk before asking Blaine to fuck. He continues anyway. “The plan was always for me to go to New York with—“

Sebastian cuts him off with a scoff, rolling his eyes. “You’re so much better than that, Blaine,” he says, not looking at Blaine, his eyes glued up at the ceiling instead. “If you want to go to school in New York, it should be your choice, not because of anyone else.”

It’s hard to hear—of course it is. Because going to New York with Kurt had been Blaine’s plan for almost a year. They had everything planned, down to what corner their Starbucks would be on and the wallpaper pattern of their first apartment together. But things have changed. Blaine’s not naive enough to think that those plans will still happen, and he’s shocked when he realizes he doesn’t really want them to. He still wants to go to New York, to go to school in his favorite city in the world and live out his dream of preforming on Broadway, but it won’t happen with Kurt by his side. He’ll do it on his own, he knows he can, and he won’t let the thought of someone else keep him from accomplishing everything he wants.

“They have great schools in Boston, you know,” Sebastian says and it startles Blaine from his thoughts. Blaine’s eyebrows draw together, unsure about where this is coming from.

“I’m sure they do,” he says, his voice rising at the end as if it’s a question.

“That’s where I’m going,” Sebastian clarifies. “Harvard. I’m going to study medicine. My dad was pushing for law,” he pauses to deepen his voice. “Smythe men are lawyers,” he says, mimicking his father. “But I couldn’t be less interested in it.”

“That’s amazing, Sebastian,” Blaine says. “I had no idea you wanted to be a doctor.”

Sebastian turns his head to the side until he’s looking at Blaine, an easy smile sliding over his face. “Well, we don’t really do a lot of talking when we’re together, now do we?”

Blaine blushes, but knows it’s true.

“Anyway,” Sebastian continues, as if he’s uninterested. “Berklee is better than any school is New York if you want to go for music.”

Blaine’s pulse pounds in his ears as he listens to Sebastian. He needs clarity, can’t read into this and make it something it’s not. “You want me in Boston?” Blaine asks, his voice barely above a whisper. That can’t be what Sebastian’s implying, there’s no way.

“I didn’t say that,” Sebastian says quickly, turning away from Blaine and back to staring at the ceiling. “This is all information you should have gotten from a half-wit guidance counselor at that public school of yours.”

His reaction is immediate and harsh and Blaine can see right through it. He smiles to himself and nods, biting at his lip. “I think Boston is only a three hour train ride from New York, anyway.”

“I wouldn’t know,” Sebastian grumbles, clearly agitated. He crosses his arms over his chest and doesn’t look away from the ceiling.

Blaine stretches across Sebastian’s body, laughing at Sebastian’s huff of annoyance, reaching for his phone to check the time. “We should get some sleep,” he says, staying pressed against Sebastian’s chest for a moment longer than is necessary, before settling back in to his side of the bed. “I don’t think these walls have gotten any thicker since I’ve been here and I remember rooming next to a kid who liked to sing scales at six am.” Blaine doesn’t think Sebastian ever met Wes.

“Yeah, okay,” Sebastian says, reaching over to turn the lamp on his nightstand off. “Besides, I’ve got plans for you tomorrow.”

Blaine doesn’t question him, doesn’t ask how long Sebastian has been thinking about the two of them spending the night together. Instead he pulls back the covers and slides under the blankets, his mind racing with possibilities for tomorrow. The room is dark and Blaine expects Sebastian to start touching him, waits for his palm to skim down the front of his chest and slip under the waist of his sweatpants. But it never comes. The only touch Sebastian gives Blaine is a push to his shoulder, until Blaine gets the hint and rolls over on his side. Sebastian is behind him immediately, his chest pressed along Blaine’s back, a hand tucked around Blaine’s waist, their knees and hips lined up together perfectly.

Sebastian’s breath is even and Blaine can feel it against his back each time he takes a deep breath in. His chin is tucked over Blaine’s shoulder, his cheek pressed to Blaine’s neck. He traces his fingers in abstract patterns over Blaine’s stomach, never dipping lower than his belly button. There’s nothing sexual about the way Sebastian moves; it’s soothing, intimate, relaxing, and it’s what lulls Blaine to sleep, staying awake just long enough to feel Sebastian’s fingers leave his stomach and find his hand instead, lacing their fingers together as they drift off to sleep.

@темы: Fanfiction