Глава 7.

Chapter 7
They don’t wake up to anyone singing before sunrise. Instead, it’s the light through the curtains that wakes Blaine, settling over his eyes and seeping through his eyelids. Lately he’s been groggy when waking up, tossing and turning, awful dreams making it hard for him to sleep. Right now he feels completely at ease, relaxed down to his bones in a way that only a good night of sleep can cause. He stretches; from his fingers down to his toes, feeling his joints crack as he move silently, trying to not wake Sebastian. It doesn’t work, the bed creaks as Blaine brings his arms down from over his head and Sebastian cracks an eye open.
“Morning,” Blaine offers, smiling as he takes in the way Sebastian looks; his cheeks red and crinkled from his pillow case, his hair sticking up in spots and lying flat in others, a mess on top of his head. It’s easy to fall for Sebastian like this, Blaine realizes, when he’s still foggy with sleep and hasn’t had the time to build up his usual walls and defenses.
“Mmmph,” Sebastian grunts, throwing his leg over Blaine’s knee and hooking their ankles together. “Time’s it?” he asks, digging his face into the crook of Blaine’s neck.
Blaine laughs and soaks up the warmth radiating from Sebastian. His nose is cold, and Blaine remembers the old windows and unreliable heat from his time at Dalton, but it’s warm under the covers. “I’m not sure,” he answers, reaching over and patting around on the bedside table until his fingers bump into his phone. “Just after nine.”
“Too early,” Sebastian says, still speaking in fragments of sentences. He’s only half awake and maybe a little vulnerable, so sleepy and rumpled that Blaine’s heart aches. Blaine has to bite down on his lip to keep his thoughts to himself, knowing that one wrong word could end this entire thing. It’s getting harder, though; harder to not say what he’s thinking, what he’s feeling for Sebastian.
“I thought you had plans for me,” he says instead.
The smile that spreads across Sebastian’s face is large and lazy and Blaine barely sees a hint of his teeth before Sebastian quickly rolls them over, until his long body is pressing Blaine down into the mattress. Blaine chokes on a surprised laugh, gasping when Sebastian presses his cold nose into the dip of Blaine’s neck.
“My plans for you involve getting out of bed,” Sebastian explains, his voice muffled by Blaine’s skin.
"We could always just stay in bed," Blaine suggests, lifting his hips suggestively, because that's safe. He knows how to handle Sebastian when he's using his mouth or his hands. He knows what he can say while Sebastian's lips are attached to his neck, what he can cry out as Sebastian pushes his fingers slowly inside his body. But being with Sebastian outside of his bed, without the familiarity of sex to fall back on, is dangerous. He's never had a problem keeping his feelings locked up inside before—Kurt leaving him for New York, his brother pushing him to the side, his father's insistence that he'll grow out of "this phase” —but it's different with Sebastian. He can feel it clawing at the back of his throat, threatening to spill through his lips every time he catches Sebastian glancing at him. He reminds himself that this is all Sebastian wants, fucking without feelings, and Blaine wonders how it's so easy for him.
"As appealing as that sounds," Sebastian says, giving Blaine a quick kiss before pushing off of him and getting to his feet. "We have coffee waiting for us."
--
It feels a little odd putting on his clothes from the day before, but there’s not much else he can do. He’s not a student here anymore, so he can’t borrow any of Sebastian’s uniforms, which Blaine knows takes up most of any Dalton student’s wardrobe. Sebastian’s jeans and polos would be too big on him and easily recognizable as not belonging to Blaine, and he tells himself that’s the reason he doesn’t ask Sebastian to borrow some clothes for the day. It has nothing to do with him being worried about how Sebastian would take such a request, how much it would hurt if Sebastian just brushed it off with a laugh and a roll of his eyes.
Blaine’s sneaking a palm full of mousse (not his first choice, but it’ll do in a pinch) from the top of Sebastian’s dresser when the bathroom door opens. He quickly slicks his hair back and turns around.
“You’re not wearing your uniform?” Blaine asks dumbly when he sees Sebastian, dressed in dark jeans and thin, soft sweater that Blaine aches to touch. As good as he looks in these clothes, it’s not the red and blue that Blaine craves, that he misses deep down in his bones.
Sebastian raises an eyebrow at Blaine. “I’m sure you remember how scared weekends are around here,” he says, running his hand down the center of his chest to smooth out the fabric. “No uniform.”
“Right, yeah. Of course,” Blaine says, eyes caught on how Sebastian’s long fingers look against the black of his sweater. He needs a subject change but his brain is scrambled. “I still don’t understand how you got a private bathroom,” he finally decides on and Sebastian smiles.
“It pays when your dad does pro bono work when your school has legal troubles,” Sebastian says with a wink. He closes the bathroom door and stands in front of the full length mirror on the other side, brushing at his shoulders.
“Must be nice,” Blaine laughs, walking over and standing beside Sebastian, looking at their reflections in the mirror. It’s a nice picture and Blaine can admit that they look good together, that they would look even better if Blaine was wearing a Dalton uniform instead of day old rumpled clothes. He loves how obviously taller Sebastian is when they stand side by side; how the top of his shoulder barely hits Sebastian’s upper arm, how if he turned his head to the right and leaned in, his lips would brush against the dip of Sebastian’s throat. Sebastian must notice Blaine staring because he has a quizzical look on his face, his eyebrows drawn together in confusion but his lips turned up in a small smile. Blaine coughs and looks away. “I remember sharing my bathroom with six other guys.”
“It doesn’t suck,” Sebastian says honestly and Blaine laughs. He watches in the mirror as Sebastian’s nostrils twitch. “You smell like me,” he says, and there’s no inflection is his voice that gives away what he’s thinking.
Blaine flushes at getting caught, quickly turning his back to the mirror. “I just borrowed some of your mousse,” he explains. “I didn’t bring any and my hair gets out of control without some product.” He knows he’s rambling but he can’t stop himself. “You were in the bathroom, so I couldn’t ask.”
“Hey, Blaine, it’s fine,” Sebastian says, chuckling at Blaine’s nerves. “As long as you didn’t use the entire bottle like I know you wanted to.”
Blaine pushes at Sebastian’s shoulder fondly. “Shut up,” he mumbles, forcing himself to keep a straight face and not smile. “I don’t use that much.”
Sebastian’s chuckle turns into full out laughter. “Yes you do,” he says. “But I like it.” He turns to the side and bends down until his nose is pressed against the nape of Blaine’s neck. “And I like that you smell like me.”
The blush that had faded comes back quickly and Blaine has to dig his fingernails into his palms to keep from saying something he’ll regret. Instead he takes a deep breath and counts to ten and when he does speak, Sebastian’s nose is still dragging along the soft hairs that are scattered on the back of his neck.
“Either keep doing that and get your hands involved or stop so we can get coffee,” Blaine says and he can feel Sebastian’s laughter as it rumbles against him.
“Too honorable to walk down the halls of Dalton with your dick hard?” Sebastian says but he pulls back, smacking Blaine on the ass as he goes. Blaine yelps as he turns to glare and sees that Sebastian’s smile is sweet and fake, the kind he saves for talking his teachers into upping his test scores. “How about that coffee?”
--
The hallways are almost empty as they walk from the dorms over to the large study halls, most of the students having gone home for the weekend. Blaine had been hoping to run into some old Warblers, but the only people he sees are panicked kids that he doesn’t recognize holding stacks of books and rushing down the hall. He hears Sebastian scoff, “freshmen,” under his breath as they pass by the nervous boys. Blaine remembers his freshman year at Dalton, how the building seemed so big and daunting and how he thought he would never catch up. He wants to sit the younger kids down and tell them to relax, to reassure them and tell them that everything will be okay.
Sebastian leads them into the largest study hall— the one that Blaine knows has the best coffee. They walk over to the long tables where the coffee is kept and pour their drinks, keeping quiet in the large room mostly out of habit, even though they’re the only ones there. Blaine barely has a sugar packet ripped open before Sebastian is leaning over and tapping just the right amount of cinnamon into Blaine’s coffee. His hands still as he stares at Sebastian.
“What?” Sebastian asks. “The only place you would ever meet me was the Lima Bean. Of course I remember how you take your coffee.”
Blaine says nothing, just smiles and reaches for three of the tiny individual creamers —two hazelnut and one French vanilla. He places them in front of Sebastian without saying a word and watches as Sebastian opens each one and dumps them into his coffee. They share a wooden stirrer and Sebastian grabs them both sleeves for their cups before catching Blaine by the elbow and steering them over to an open table in the middle of the room.
The realization hits him almost instantly; this is the where they sat the first time they ever spoke, after Blaine had been pulled in by Sebastian in more ways than one. He smiles to himself as he takes a sip of coffee.
“What?” Sebastian asks, and it only makes Blaine’s smile grow bigger.
“Nothing,” he says, pressing his lips together and blowing off some of the steam that still lingers, trapped under the lid of his cup.
“What?” Sebastian presses, and Blaine just shakes his head. “Did I ever tell you that you’re incredibly annoying?” He’s probably trying to bother Blaine with the statement, but it just makes Blaine laugh, the sound echoing in the empty room.
“Just thinking back to some fond memories,” Blaine explains as he takes a sip of his drink, the coffee warm and sweet in his mouth.
Sebastian’s eyes are rolling before he even speaks. “Remembering which tables you used to jump all over?”
Blaine smiles and dips his head down and this is all so familiar. “No,” he says, shaking his head. “I’m remembering having coffee with a Warbler who I was equal parts attracted to and terrified of.”
The surprise on Sebastian’s face is there for only a moment, but Blaine sees it. “You were so nervous,” Sebastian says, leaning back in his chair, clearly enjoying the memory. “It was so much fun watching you squirm.”
“It was your fault,” Blaine reminds him.
“And I had so much fun doing it,” Sebastian says. He runs the tip of his shoe in a hard line up the inside of Blaine’s calf and Blaine jolts in his seat at the surprise contact. “Still do.” Blaine spreads his legs wider, an invitation for Sebastian’s foot to travel higher, but Sebastian pulls away with a wink and says something under his breath that sounds like a laugh mixed with ‘sex on a stick’.
“I see you looking around, all wide-eyed,” Sebastian says, as he slides out of his chair. Blaine notices when Sebastian’s fingers reach down to his stomach to button up the uniform he isn’t wearing, so used to his blazer all week, and Blaine remembers how it took him months to not fasten buttons that didn’t exist, to not tighten a phantom tie. He has been itching to walk around, to see the school that he’s missed. “Come on, Bambi. I’ll give you a tour of the place.”
Dalton is mostly empty this weekend and it’s like they have the entire school to themselves. Although Blaine had hoped to stumble upon an impromptu Warblers performance, there’s something nice about walking down the halls without being cramped in between students and being politely pushed out of the way. He and Sebastian can talk in hushed tones as they round corners and walk up a giant staircase, their feet falling in step as they climb the stairs. It takes them to the second floor and into the library. Blaine waves at the librarian and almost stops to chat before Sebastian huffs out a breath that’s pure annoyance and drags Blaine over to the back, through the rows and rows of book, until they’re standing in front of a large window that overlooks the entire Dalton campus.
“This was my favorite spot while I was here,” Blaine says, breathless. He misses Dalton more than he wants to admit, but he’s at McKinley now and that’s where he’s staying. He made his choice to transfer and he’s honorable enough to stand by it, and not leave the New Directions, even if part of his heart is somewhere else.
The leather is soft and well-worn beneath Blaine’s hands and he sits down on an oversized chair, angling it so he has a view out of the window. The soccer team is practicing drills on the field below and Blaine’s stomach drops when he realizes he doesn’t recognize a single person running through the grass. He focuses instead on the trees lining the quad, their limbs almost bare, with just a few burnt orange leaves hanging on.
“Did I ever tell you about my first week at Dalton?” he asks. Sebastian has dropped into the chair beside him, pulling it closer until the leather covered arms are pushed against each other.
“If you have, I wasn’t paying attention,” Sebastian says honestly, shrugging his shoulder, unbothered. “I’m listening now, though.”
“Wes, he graduated the year before you transferred, he found me right here after school on my third day. I was so shy and nervous, I didn’t talk to anyone,” Blaine says, chancing a glance up to see if Sebastian is even listening. He finds a pair of eyes locked on him, unblinking. “I was singing to myself and he overheard me and asked me to join the Warblers.” It’s one of Blaine’s favorite memories; Wes’ firm handshake, his instant joy at learning his new school had a show choir, feeling like he finally belonged. “I can’t believe I never asked you this, but how did you join the Warblers?”
“Your story is a little different than mine,” Sebastian says and Blaine quirks an intrigued eyebrow. “My first day here, I corned a freshman and asked him which club I should join that wasn’t absolutely pathetic,” Sebastian says and Blaine laughs so loudly the librarian shushes them. “What? I wasn’t going to join the fucking Mathletes,” he says, disgust dripping from his voice. “And besides, aren’t you glad I decided on the Warblers?” Sebastian asks, smirking as Blaine dips his head and tucks his chin into his chest.
“I guess some good did come out of it,” Blaine agrees and then jerks his head up. “Hey,” he says, too loud for the quiet library. “Who told you I was sex on a stick?”
Sebastian laughs in a way Blaine has never heard before; uninhibited and loud, his mouth open wide and if Blaine were quick enough, he could count each too-white tooth. Instead he just stares and commits the sound to memory. “Well?” He prods and it just makes Sebastian laugh louder.
“Excuse me boys, but if you can’t quiet down, I’m going to have to ask you to leave,” the librarian says, her voice low and stern. Blaine didn’t even notice her come over and her scolding does nothing to stop Sebastian’s laughter.
“We’re out of here, anyway,” Sebastian says, his laughter finally subsiding, grabbing onto Blaine’s hand and pulling him out of the chair.
“I expected more from you, Blaine Anderson,” she says, shaking her head as she watches them leave.
“Sorry, Mrs. Wheeler,” Blaine calls over his shoulder as Sebastian tugs him out of the library.
Sebastian leads them down the stairs, their hands still clasped together. He’s not rushing, Sebastian never rushes, but his feet are moving quickly and Blaine has to make it a point to keep up. They get to the bottom of the stairs and Sebastian doesn’t even look back, just pulls Blaine’s arm so he continues to follow him.
“Where are we going in such a hurry?” Blaine asks. They’re going in the opposite direction of the study hall where their forgotten coffees are sitting, away from the large wooden doors that lead outside.
Sebastian stops dead in his tracks, tossing a quick glance around the empty hallway before pressing Blaine up against the door to an empty classroom. “I was thinking,” he starts, leaning in, placing his palms on either side of Blaine’s shoulders and trapping him in. “We could go back to my room.” His lips brush against Blaine’s. “What do you think?”
Blaine nods so quickly that their foreheads bump together. Sebastian laughs, but it’s deep and raw, not like the all-out laughter from the library.
“Then what are we waiting for?” he asks, pulling Blaine in for a quick and dirty kiss that leaves him breathless.
The walk back to Sebastian’s room happens in a blur. Blaine doesn’t remember seeing the paintings that he knows hang on the walls or passing under the archway that connects the school to the dorms. He doesn’t remember Sebastian unlocking the door or pushing him down on the bed, doesn’t remember falling back into his pillows, can’t focus on anything until he feels Sebastian’s fingers working his jeans open.
“Shirt off,” Sebastian says, pulling impatiently at Blaine’s pants. Blaine doesn’t hesitate to sit up, his hands gripping and pulling until he can tear the shirt off his back. He falls onto the bed just as Sebastian is finishing with his pants, tugging them off of Blaine’s ankles and dropping them to the floor. “Get the lube?” he asks as he starts on his own clothes. Blaine watches, struck dumb as each inch of Sebastian’s pale skin is revealed. He should be used to this by now, the freckles on Sebastian’s chest and the light hair that covers his thighs. It shouldn’t make his breath catch in his throat each time, but it does.
Sebastian’s hands are on his waist, pulling down the fly on his jeans, when he looks up at Blaine expectantly. Blaine quickly shakes his head and reaches into the second drawer of Sebastian’s nightstand, his hands finding the lube and condoms. When he turns back, Sebastian is naked and crawling up the bed, stretching his body on top of Blaine. The skin on skin contact feels amazing and Blaine has missed this more than anything else. The sex is amazing and he craves it down to his bones, but it’s the closeness that he wants from Sebastian, what he needs to get through the week when they’re not together. The kiss Sebastian drops on his lips is quick and teasing and when Blaine tries to deepen it, Sebastian just smiles and pulls back, sitting up and resting his weight on Blaine’s knees. Blaine reaches blindly for the lube by his side, fingers curling around the familiar bottle and pressing it into Sebastian’s hand. He needs Sebastian inside of him, needs to be filled and stretched and pressed down into the mattress.
But Sebastian doesn’t hold onto the bottle and it falls to the bed.
“Here,” Blaine says, picking up the lube and offering it to Sebastian. He stretches his hand out, palm up, and waits for Sebastian to take it. When Sebastian says nothing, does nothing, Blaine asks, “Do you want me to get myself ready?” He doesn’t mind, not really, even if he prefers Sebastian’s long fingers opening him up.
“No,” Sebastian says and shakes his head.
Blaine’s sits up on his elbows, completely confused. “Okay? So what do we need the lube for?”
Sebastian rolls his eyes and bites at his bottom lip and if Blaine didn’t know any better, he’d say Sebastian looks nervous. “Are you really going to make me say it?”
“Make you say what?” Blaine asks. Sebastian stares at him, waiting for Blaine to put the pieces together. It takes a few seconds as Blaine tries to figure out what Sebastian means, but then it all comes together and Blaine’s breath punches out of him. “You—you want me to top?”
“And I used to think public school kids were all idiots,” Sebastian says, covering up his nerves with sarcasm. Blaine barely acknowledges it, instead staring at Sebastian with his jaw dropped open. “Close your mouth, you look ridiculous,” Sebastian says. “Do you want to do this or not?”
Blaine nods so quickly that he feels a muscle in his neck pull and he scrambles back, making room for Sebastian to lie down. They switch positions, Sebastian getting comfortable on his back and Blaine moving in between his open legs.
Seeing Sebastian spread out like this makes Blaine’s hands shake, makes his stomach twist up in knots and his throat close up. He pops open the cap and covers his fingers, needing to concentrate on something besides the ringing in his ears. He makes sure his fingers are slick and warm before looking up.
“Ready?” He asks.
“Blaine, just do it,” Sebastian says impatiently, but Blaine doesn’t miss the way his breath quickens or the way his fingers pluck at the sheets nervously.
The first press of his finger inside is met with so much resistance that it shocks Blaine. Sebastian is tight in a way that Blaine hasn’t experienced in a long time and he can barely move his finger without Sebastian jerking around him, and not in a good way. He places a kiss to Sebastian’s knee and moves slowly, just a few soft pushes in order to let Sebastian get used to the feeling. He adds more lube to make the slide easier, but Sebastian is still tense; every muscle that Blaine can see is wound up tight.
“You have to relax,” Blaine says softly, his finger stilling inside. Sebastian’s eyes are screwed shut and Blaine can feel the discomfort radiating from him. “Hey, we don’t have to do this,” he says. “I don’t mind if we stop.”
“No,” Sebastian says and Blaine can hear that his teeth are ground together. “Keep going.”
“I can’t when you’re so tense,” Blaine says, pulling his finger back an inch before pushing back in. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I just—“ Sebastian starts and then stops. Blaine waits until Sebastian speaks again. “I don’t do this very often.”
“Oh. Oh,” Blaine says, understanding dawning on him. His heartbeat speeds up as he lets Sebastian’s words sink in. “I’ll go slow, then. But you have to relax for me, okay?”
Sebastian nods and takes a deep breath and Blaine can feel when he starts loosening up, relaxing around Blaine’s finger.
“That’s better,” Blaine says, moving his finger in and out, slow but firm. He takes his time stretching Sebastian, moving a little faster as he feels Sebastian open around his finger. He bites his lip in concentration, his eyes flicking from Sebastian’s face to where his finger disappears further and further inside Sebastian’s body. “Can I add two?” He asks. He can feel that Sebastian is ready for it, but he needs to be sure.
Sebastian swallows harshly, his breath picking up speed as Blaine moves his finger. “Yeah—Yeah, I think so,” he says, nodding along with his words.
The second finger is easier than the first now that Sebastian is relaxed, his body loose and willing. He drops his knees apart wider as Blaine presses his fingers inside, twisting and curling and pressing in as far as he can. Sebastian opens up slowly, reacting to Blaine’s careful touches. It causes heat to build in Blaine’s stomach, his cock already hard and heavy between his legs without even being touched. He watches the pleasurable shock on Sebastian’s face each time he presses his fingers in just right, the way Sebastian can’t contain his moans when Blaine twists and pushes and fills him up. Knowing that Sebastian doesn’t do this often—maybe not at all—makes Blaine’s vision swim and he digs his teeth into the side of his cheek to keep his concentration.
“More,” Sebastian begs and Blaine groans at the sound. Sebastian doesn’t beg when he wants something—he takes it. He’s asking Blaine though, pleading with him, and Blaine’s fingers shake as he opens up the cap to add more lube.
“Tell me if it’s too much, okay?” he asks, and Sebastian nods.
Three fingers don’t fit as easily, but Blaine takes his time. He touches Sebastian the way that he likes to be touched; firm strokes in and long drags out, twisting his wrist as he goes, pulling out soft groans from deep in Sebastian’s chest. He knows this part is important, knows that Sebastian needs extra time to adjust, but Blaine’s not sure how much longer he can wait; not when Sebastian is so tight and slick around him.
“Blaine,” Sebastian says, his voice wrecked, his knees shaking lightly as Blaine pulls his fingers out entirely. “Come on, come up here. I need to touch you.”
Blaine goes willingly, shuffling his knees up a few inches until Sebastian reaches out and throws an arm across his shoulders, tugging him down into a frantic kiss. His other arm snakes down Blaine’s chest, fingers dragging along his stomach and wrapping around Blaine’s cock. Blaine’s hips stutter forward at the surprise contact, breaking away from Sebastian’s mouth to shove his face against Sebastian’s neck, his moans loud and drawn out.
“You don’t even know how hot you are,” Sebastian mumbles as his hand moves faster, his fingers tight around Blaine’s cock. “You have no idea what you do to me, Blaine. No fucking clue.”
Blaine whines, the sound high pitched and desperate and bordering on pathetic, but he doesn’t care. Not when Sebastian is whispering into his ear, his hand wrapped around Blaine’s dick, palm stroking up and down as Blaine balance himself over Sebastian’s body.
“Sebastian,” Blaine groans, struggling for breath in the crook of Sebastian’s neck. He really should tell Sebastian to stop, pull his hands away and search for the condom that’s lost somewhere in the sheets. He’s too close already and he needs this to be good for Sebastian, doesn’t want him to regret trusting Blaine like this, but he can’t find the words.
“No one else does it for me like you do,” Sebastian continues, his voice a low growl in Blaine’s ear. His hand moves faster and Blaine’s entire body shakes with the effort to not let go. His squeezes his eyes shut and pants against Sebastian’s neck, straining to not fuck into Sebastian’s fist. “I don’t want anyone else but you.”
Blaine’s hips snap forward as Sebastian’s words soak into his skin, the head of his cock catching against where Sebastian is open and slick and warm. He cries out as his orgasm slams into him unexpectedly, coming hard all over the inside of Sebastian’s thighs. He fucks through the mess on Sebastian’s legs helplessly, his hips twitching as his cock rubs against soft skin covered in come. It hurts to breathe, his lungs burning as he gasps for air. He barely has any time to open his eyes before Sebastian is scrambling for him, letting go of his cock and pulling Blaine away from his neck and in for a kiss. Sebastian pants against his lips, not even really a kiss at all, arching up to slide his dick against the sharp curve on Blaine’s hips.
“Sorry,” Blaine mumbles, their lips brushing together as he speaks. “You felt—I couldn’t not. I’m sorry.” Embarrassment curls up in the pit of his stomach, his cheeks burning as the realization that he ruined everything smashes into him.
“That was so fucking hot,” Sebastian gasps, rutting harder against Blaine’s hip and Blaine can feel the slickness that’s still all over Sebastian’s thighs. Sebastian’s breath is coming quick and uneven, his fingers digging into Blaine’s shoulders. “I can’t—please, please?”
Blaine doesn’t hesitate before sliding down Sebastian’s body, his lips catching on the dips of Sebastian’s stomach as he settles in between Sebastian’s legs. His knees fall even further apart to make room and Blaine bends forward, opening his mouth around Sebastian’s cock. He groans as it slides between his lips, the heavy weight welcome against his tongue. He’s missed doing this, and it’s even better now that it’s Sebastian beneath him, Sebastian’s thighs shaking, Sebastian’s fingers pulling at his hair. He’s only moved a few inches when he hears Sebastian pleading above him.
“Can you put your fingers back?” he asks, and it’s soft, Blaine barely catches it, almost as if Sebastian’s afraid to ask. Blaine’s not prepared to hear those words, strained and low above him, and he moves as quickly as he can, circling one teasing finger before pressing back inside. Sebastian is still wet and open from before, when Blaine had three fingers fucking into him, and the memory is enough to make Blaine grind down against the mattress.
Sebastian is writhing as Blaine drags his mouth over his cock, tongue flat and wide, curling around the head before bobbing back down. He loves the feeling this gives him; focusing solely on the pleasure of someone else, knowing that he’s the cause of Sebastian’s desperate moans and the way his stomach clenches tightly each time Blaine crooks his finger. He taps Sebastian’s hip with his free hand, urging him to move, to stop holding back and to thrust into Blaine’s willing mouth.
“Yeah?” he asks and it’s more of an exhale of breath than an actual word. “You want me to?”
Blaine nods the best that he can, opening his jaw wider as Sebastian starts to thrust shallowly into his mouth. He’s still holding back, Blaine can tell. His cock doesn’t even brush the back of Blaine’s throat, but it’s still good, still what Blaine wants. He crosses a second finger over his first and pushes them both in at once and Sebastian cries out.
The fingers in his hair pull tighter, demanding, digging into his scalp as Sebastian tries to pull him back. He’s having none of it and he shakes off Sebastian’s fingers, opening his jaw as wide as he can despite the small ache. Sebastian’s hips jerk roughly a few times and he bites back Blaine’s name as he comes, his hands on the back of Blaine’s head keeping his mouth in place. Blaine loves it—the way Sebastian tastes, sounds, feels, as he falls apart.
Sebastian’s grip on his hair lessens until his hands fall to the side and land in the sheets, his chest heaving as he struggles for breath. Blaine pulls off of his cock slowly, sliding his fingers out of Sebastian as gently as he can. Sebastian whines just a bit before he stops himself, reaching his long arms down to tug Blaine up.
“Blaine,” he says, like it’s the only word he knows. “Blaine.”
Blaine can’t help the huge smile that breaks out on his face as he drops in beside Sebastian, his head finding the crook of Sebastian’s elbow where he fits so perfectly. “Sorry that didn’t turn out exactly like you wanted,” Blaine says, still a little embarrassed.
“Shut up,” Sebastian says fondly, curling his arm tighter around Blaine’s side.
They lay in silence for a few minutes, their deep, even breathing syncing together, when Sebastian’s phone rings loudly in the quiet room. He curses and throws an arm over Blaine, their naked chests pressed together, and searches for his cell phone on his nightstand.
“What?” he says harshly into the phone, not hiding his obvious annoyance. Blaine can’t hear what the person on the other end is saying, but he feels Sebastian tense up. “Are you kidding? What the fuck?” Sebastian complains, taking his arm out from under Blaine and sitting up in bed. “Yeah, fine. Whatever. See you later.” He hangs up the phone and throws it at the foot of his bed.
“Everything okay?” Blaine asks, propping himself up on his elbow to look at Sebastian.
“My roommate’s coming back early,” he grumbles, leaning forward, and Blaine can’t take his eyes off of the long, pale stretch of Sebastian’s back. “He’s on his way back now. He just called to ask if I wanted him to pick me up a coffee.” Sebastian laughs, but the sound is hollow.
Something like dread settles in the pit of Blaine’s stomach. “Oh. Okay. I guess I’ll head out?” he asks. He’s not sure why he says it as a question; there’s no way Sebastian is going to ask him to stay.
“Fuck,” Sebastian says, rubbing his palm over his forehead. “I wanted you to stay longer, okay? I did.”
“I believe you,” Blaine says, a defeated smile taking shape on his face. “We can get together next weekend?” he offers.
Sebastian’s sigh is deep and heavy and he looks back to Blaine regretfully. “Come on, I’ll walk you to your car.”
--
“I’ll make sure he’s gone all next weekend,” Sebastian promises as they stand by Blaine’s car. It’s chilly, the wind whipping, and Blaine shivers. Sebastian’s hands immediately move to rub the length of his arms. “No surprise visits.”
“Sounds good,” Blaine says. He’s disappointed that he’s not staying at Dalton for an extra day, that he won’t be waking up tucked into Sebastian’s side, but hearing Sebastian plan for next weekend makes him buzz with excitement.
“Just the two of us,” Sebastian says and there’s a genuine smile on his face, something that Blaine is getting used to seeing more and more.
“Just the two of us,” Blaine repeats. He feels joy and hope and every other emotion he should not be having.
“Text me when you get home, okay?” Sebastian asks, not thinking twice before pulling Blaine into a tight hug. Blaine can feel the cold press of his fingers through the layer of his shirt, but Sebastian’s core is warm, his chest radiating heat as he wraps his arms around Blaine. They stay like that for what feels like forever and not long enough, Blaine pulling back first to push up and press a kiss to Sebastian’s cold lips.
“Don’t miss me too much,” Blaine says, tucking his nose into Sebastian’s neck. He can feel Sebastian shake with laughter and he runs a hand down the length of Blaine’s back.
“I’ll see you soon, Blaine,” he says, stepping out of the hug and reaching around to open the car door.
He feels the words on the tip of his tongue, like he’s ready to explode if he holds them in any longer. This is the moment where he could tell Sebastian how he truly feels, how he doesn’t want to be just another notch on Sebastian’s belt, another number to add to his list. He wants to be more than that, wants to hold Sebastian’s hand and kiss him whenever he wants and everything else that Sebastian pretends to hate. He’s confused about most things in his life, but not about this. His feelings for Sebastian are real and true and keep him awake at night, wondering if Sebastian feels the same way. He opens his mouth, the words right there, clear and easy and so ready to come out.
“See you later,” he says instead. He feels like a coward, but he’s not willing to take a chance on Sebastian not returning his feelings. The thought that he could confess his feelings and then never see Sebastian again makes him literally sick, his stomach clenching tight as he slides into his car. Of course he wants Sebastian to feel the same way, but he’s not willing to risk ending what they have. Not yet, not when he needs Sebastian just to get him through his week.
He pulls out of the parking spot and Sebastian tosses him an easy wave. Blaine smiles and watches him in his rearview mirror as he drives away, until he’s nothing more than a small blur in the reflective glass.

Chapter 7
They don’t wake up to anyone singing before sunrise. Instead, it’s the light through the curtains that wakes Blaine, settling over his eyes and seeping through his eyelids. Lately he’s been groggy when waking up, tossing and turning, awful dreams making it hard for him to sleep. Right now he feels completely at ease, relaxed down to his bones in a way that only a good night of sleep can cause. He stretches; from his fingers down to his toes, feeling his joints crack as he move silently, trying to not wake Sebastian. It doesn’t work, the bed creaks as Blaine brings his arms down from over his head and Sebastian cracks an eye open.
“Morning,” Blaine offers, smiling as he takes in the way Sebastian looks; his cheeks red and crinkled from his pillow case, his hair sticking up in spots and lying flat in others, a mess on top of his head. It’s easy to fall for Sebastian like this, Blaine realizes, when he’s still foggy with sleep and hasn’t had the time to build up his usual walls and defenses.
“Mmmph,” Sebastian grunts, throwing his leg over Blaine’s knee and hooking their ankles together. “Time’s it?” he asks, digging his face into the crook of Blaine’s neck.
Blaine laughs and soaks up the warmth radiating from Sebastian. His nose is cold, and Blaine remembers the old windows and unreliable heat from his time at Dalton, but it’s warm under the covers. “I’m not sure,” he answers, reaching over and patting around on the bedside table until his fingers bump into his phone. “Just after nine.”
“Too early,” Sebastian says, still speaking in fragments of sentences. He’s only half awake and maybe a little vulnerable, so sleepy and rumpled that Blaine’s heart aches. Blaine has to bite down on his lip to keep his thoughts to himself, knowing that one wrong word could end this entire thing. It’s getting harder, though; harder to not say what he’s thinking, what he’s feeling for Sebastian.
“I thought you had plans for me,” he says instead.
The smile that spreads across Sebastian’s face is large and lazy and Blaine barely sees a hint of his teeth before Sebastian quickly rolls them over, until his long body is pressing Blaine down into the mattress. Blaine chokes on a surprised laugh, gasping when Sebastian presses his cold nose into the dip of Blaine’s neck.
“My plans for you involve getting out of bed,” Sebastian explains, his voice muffled by Blaine’s skin.
"We could always just stay in bed," Blaine suggests, lifting his hips suggestively, because that's safe. He knows how to handle Sebastian when he's using his mouth or his hands. He knows what he can say while Sebastian's lips are attached to his neck, what he can cry out as Sebastian pushes his fingers slowly inside his body. But being with Sebastian outside of his bed, without the familiarity of sex to fall back on, is dangerous. He's never had a problem keeping his feelings locked up inside before—Kurt leaving him for New York, his brother pushing him to the side, his father's insistence that he'll grow out of "this phase” —but it's different with Sebastian. He can feel it clawing at the back of his throat, threatening to spill through his lips every time he catches Sebastian glancing at him. He reminds himself that this is all Sebastian wants, fucking without feelings, and Blaine wonders how it's so easy for him.
"As appealing as that sounds," Sebastian says, giving Blaine a quick kiss before pushing off of him and getting to his feet. "We have coffee waiting for us."
--
It feels a little odd putting on his clothes from the day before, but there’s not much else he can do. He’s not a student here anymore, so he can’t borrow any of Sebastian’s uniforms, which Blaine knows takes up most of any Dalton student’s wardrobe. Sebastian’s jeans and polos would be too big on him and easily recognizable as not belonging to Blaine, and he tells himself that’s the reason he doesn’t ask Sebastian to borrow some clothes for the day. It has nothing to do with him being worried about how Sebastian would take such a request, how much it would hurt if Sebastian just brushed it off with a laugh and a roll of his eyes.
Blaine’s sneaking a palm full of mousse (not his first choice, but it’ll do in a pinch) from the top of Sebastian’s dresser when the bathroom door opens. He quickly slicks his hair back and turns around.
“You’re not wearing your uniform?” Blaine asks dumbly when he sees Sebastian, dressed in dark jeans and thin, soft sweater that Blaine aches to touch. As good as he looks in these clothes, it’s not the red and blue that Blaine craves, that he misses deep down in his bones.
Sebastian raises an eyebrow at Blaine. “I’m sure you remember how scared weekends are around here,” he says, running his hand down the center of his chest to smooth out the fabric. “No uniform.”
“Right, yeah. Of course,” Blaine says, eyes caught on how Sebastian’s long fingers look against the black of his sweater. He needs a subject change but his brain is scrambled. “I still don’t understand how you got a private bathroom,” he finally decides on and Sebastian smiles.
“It pays when your dad does pro bono work when your school has legal troubles,” Sebastian says with a wink. He closes the bathroom door and stands in front of the full length mirror on the other side, brushing at his shoulders.
“Must be nice,” Blaine laughs, walking over and standing beside Sebastian, looking at their reflections in the mirror. It’s a nice picture and Blaine can admit that they look good together, that they would look even better if Blaine was wearing a Dalton uniform instead of day old rumpled clothes. He loves how obviously taller Sebastian is when they stand side by side; how the top of his shoulder barely hits Sebastian’s upper arm, how if he turned his head to the right and leaned in, his lips would brush against the dip of Sebastian’s throat. Sebastian must notice Blaine staring because he has a quizzical look on his face, his eyebrows drawn together in confusion but his lips turned up in a small smile. Blaine coughs and looks away. “I remember sharing my bathroom with six other guys.”
“It doesn’t suck,” Sebastian says honestly and Blaine laughs. He watches in the mirror as Sebastian’s nostrils twitch. “You smell like me,” he says, and there’s no inflection is his voice that gives away what he’s thinking.
Blaine flushes at getting caught, quickly turning his back to the mirror. “I just borrowed some of your mousse,” he explains. “I didn’t bring any and my hair gets out of control without some product.” He knows he’s rambling but he can’t stop himself. “You were in the bathroom, so I couldn’t ask.”
“Hey, Blaine, it’s fine,” Sebastian says, chuckling at Blaine’s nerves. “As long as you didn’t use the entire bottle like I know you wanted to.”
Blaine pushes at Sebastian’s shoulder fondly. “Shut up,” he mumbles, forcing himself to keep a straight face and not smile. “I don’t use that much.”
Sebastian’s chuckle turns into full out laughter. “Yes you do,” he says. “But I like it.” He turns to the side and bends down until his nose is pressed against the nape of Blaine’s neck. “And I like that you smell like me.”
The blush that had faded comes back quickly and Blaine has to dig his fingernails into his palms to keep from saying something he’ll regret. Instead he takes a deep breath and counts to ten and when he does speak, Sebastian’s nose is still dragging along the soft hairs that are scattered on the back of his neck.
“Either keep doing that and get your hands involved or stop so we can get coffee,” Blaine says and he can feel Sebastian’s laughter as it rumbles against him.
“Too honorable to walk down the halls of Dalton with your dick hard?” Sebastian says but he pulls back, smacking Blaine on the ass as he goes. Blaine yelps as he turns to glare and sees that Sebastian’s smile is sweet and fake, the kind he saves for talking his teachers into upping his test scores. “How about that coffee?”
--
The hallways are almost empty as they walk from the dorms over to the large study halls, most of the students having gone home for the weekend. Blaine had been hoping to run into some old Warblers, but the only people he sees are panicked kids that he doesn’t recognize holding stacks of books and rushing down the hall. He hears Sebastian scoff, “freshmen,” under his breath as they pass by the nervous boys. Blaine remembers his freshman year at Dalton, how the building seemed so big and daunting and how he thought he would never catch up. He wants to sit the younger kids down and tell them to relax, to reassure them and tell them that everything will be okay.
Sebastian leads them into the largest study hall— the one that Blaine knows has the best coffee. They walk over to the long tables where the coffee is kept and pour their drinks, keeping quiet in the large room mostly out of habit, even though they’re the only ones there. Blaine barely has a sugar packet ripped open before Sebastian is leaning over and tapping just the right amount of cinnamon into Blaine’s coffee. His hands still as he stares at Sebastian.
“What?” Sebastian asks. “The only place you would ever meet me was the Lima Bean. Of course I remember how you take your coffee.”
Blaine says nothing, just smiles and reaches for three of the tiny individual creamers —two hazelnut and one French vanilla. He places them in front of Sebastian without saying a word and watches as Sebastian opens each one and dumps them into his coffee. They share a wooden stirrer and Sebastian grabs them both sleeves for their cups before catching Blaine by the elbow and steering them over to an open table in the middle of the room.
The realization hits him almost instantly; this is the where they sat the first time they ever spoke, after Blaine had been pulled in by Sebastian in more ways than one. He smiles to himself as he takes a sip of coffee.
“What?” Sebastian asks, and it only makes Blaine’s smile grow bigger.
“Nothing,” he says, pressing his lips together and blowing off some of the steam that still lingers, trapped under the lid of his cup.
“What?” Sebastian presses, and Blaine just shakes his head. “Did I ever tell you that you’re incredibly annoying?” He’s probably trying to bother Blaine with the statement, but it just makes Blaine laugh, the sound echoing in the empty room.
“Just thinking back to some fond memories,” Blaine explains as he takes a sip of his drink, the coffee warm and sweet in his mouth.
Sebastian’s eyes are rolling before he even speaks. “Remembering which tables you used to jump all over?”
Blaine smiles and dips his head down and this is all so familiar. “No,” he says, shaking his head. “I’m remembering having coffee with a Warbler who I was equal parts attracted to and terrified of.”
The surprise on Sebastian’s face is there for only a moment, but Blaine sees it. “You were so nervous,” Sebastian says, leaning back in his chair, clearly enjoying the memory. “It was so much fun watching you squirm.”
“It was your fault,” Blaine reminds him.
“And I had so much fun doing it,” Sebastian says. He runs the tip of his shoe in a hard line up the inside of Blaine’s calf and Blaine jolts in his seat at the surprise contact. “Still do.” Blaine spreads his legs wider, an invitation for Sebastian’s foot to travel higher, but Sebastian pulls away with a wink and says something under his breath that sounds like a laugh mixed with ‘sex on a stick’.
“I see you looking around, all wide-eyed,” Sebastian says, as he slides out of his chair. Blaine notices when Sebastian’s fingers reach down to his stomach to button up the uniform he isn’t wearing, so used to his blazer all week, and Blaine remembers how it took him months to not fasten buttons that didn’t exist, to not tighten a phantom tie. He has been itching to walk around, to see the school that he’s missed. “Come on, Bambi. I’ll give you a tour of the place.”
Dalton is mostly empty this weekend and it’s like they have the entire school to themselves. Although Blaine had hoped to stumble upon an impromptu Warblers performance, there’s something nice about walking down the halls without being cramped in between students and being politely pushed out of the way. He and Sebastian can talk in hushed tones as they round corners and walk up a giant staircase, their feet falling in step as they climb the stairs. It takes them to the second floor and into the library. Blaine waves at the librarian and almost stops to chat before Sebastian huffs out a breath that’s pure annoyance and drags Blaine over to the back, through the rows and rows of book, until they’re standing in front of a large window that overlooks the entire Dalton campus.
“This was my favorite spot while I was here,” Blaine says, breathless. He misses Dalton more than he wants to admit, but he’s at McKinley now and that’s where he’s staying. He made his choice to transfer and he’s honorable enough to stand by it, and not leave the New Directions, even if part of his heart is somewhere else.
The leather is soft and well-worn beneath Blaine’s hands and he sits down on an oversized chair, angling it so he has a view out of the window. The soccer team is practicing drills on the field below and Blaine’s stomach drops when he realizes he doesn’t recognize a single person running through the grass. He focuses instead on the trees lining the quad, their limbs almost bare, with just a few burnt orange leaves hanging on.
“Did I ever tell you about my first week at Dalton?” he asks. Sebastian has dropped into the chair beside him, pulling it closer until the leather covered arms are pushed against each other.
“If you have, I wasn’t paying attention,” Sebastian says honestly, shrugging his shoulder, unbothered. “I’m listening now, though.”
“Wes, he graduated the year before you transferred, he found me right here after school on my third day. I was so shy and nervous, I didn’t talk to anyone,” Blaine says, chancing a glance up to see if Sebastian is even listening. He finds a pair of eyes locked on him, unblinking. “I was singing to myself and he overheard me and asked me to join the Warblers.” It’s one of Blaine’s favorite memories; Wes’ firm handshake, his instant joy at learning his new school had a show choir, feeling like he finally belonged. “I can’t believe I never asked you this, but how did you join the Warblers?”
“Your story is a little different than mine,” Sebastian says and Blaine quirks an intrigued eyebrow. “My first day here, I corned a freshman and asked him which club I should join that wasn’t absolutely pathetic,” Sebastian says and Blaine laughs so loudly the librarian shushes them. “What? I wasn’t going to join the fucking Mathletes,” he says, disgust dripping from his voice. “And besides, aren’t you glad I decided on the Warblers?” Sebastian asks, smirking as Blaine dips his head and tucks his chin into his chest.
“I guess some good did come out of it,” Blaine agrees and then jerks his head up. “Hey,” he says, too loud for the quiet library. “Who told you I was sex on a stick?”
Sebastian laughs in a way Blaine has never heard before; uninhibited and loud, his mouth open wide and if Blaine were quick enough, he could count each too-white tooth. Instead he just stares and commits the sound to memory. “Well?” He prods and it just makes Sebastian laugh louder.
“Excuse me boys, but if you can’t quiet down, I’m going to have to ask you to leave,” the librarian says, her voice low and stern. Blaine didn’t even notice her come over and her scolding does nothing to stop Sebastian’s laughter.
“We’re out of here, anyway,” Sebastian says, his laughter finally subsiding, grabbing onto Blaine’s hand and pulling him out of the chair.
“I expected more from you, Blaine Anderson,” she says, shaking her head as she watches them leave.
“Sorry, Mrs. Wheeler,” Blaine calls over his shoulder as Sebastian tugs him out of the library.
Sebastian leads them down the stairs, their hands still clasped together. He’s not rushing, Sebastian never rushes, but his feet are moving quickly and Blaine has to make it a point to keep up. They get to the bottom of the stairs and Sebastian doesn’t even look back, just pulls Blaine’s arm so he continues to follow him.
“Where are we going in such a hurry?” Blaine asks. They’re going in the opposite direction of the study hall where their forgotten coffees are sitting, away from the large wooden doors that lead outside.
Sebastian stops dead in his tracks, tossing a quick glance around the empty hallway before pressing Blaine up against the door to an empty classroom. “I was thinking,” he starts, leaning in, placing his palms on either side of Blaine’s shoulders and trapping him in. “We could go back to my room.” His lips brush against Blaine’s. “What do you think?”
Blaine nods so quickly that their foreheads bump together. Sebastian laughs, but it’s deep and raw, not like the all-out laughter from the library.
“Then what are we waiting for?” he asks, pulling Blaine in for a quick and dirty kiss that leaves him breathless.
The walk back to Sebastian’s room happens in a blur. Blaine doesn’t remember seeing the paintings that he knows hang on the walls or passing under the archway that connects the school to the dorms. He doesn’t remember Sebastian unlocking the door or pushing him down on the bed, doesn’t remember falling back into his pillows, can’t focus on anything until he feels Sebastian’s fingers working his jeans open.
“Shirt off,” Sebastian says, pulling impatiently at Blaine’s pants. Blaine doesn’t hesitate to sit up, his hands gripping and pulling until he can tear the shirt off his back. He falls onto the bed just as Sebastian is finishing with his pants, tugging them off of Blaine’s ankles and dropping them to the floor. “Get the lube?” he asks as he starts on his own clothes. Blaine watches, struck dumb as each inch of Sebastian’s pale skin is revealed. He should be used to this by now, the freckles on Sebastian’s chest and the light hair that covers his thighs. It shouldn’t make his breath catch in his throat each time, but it does.
Sebastian’s hands are on his waist, pulling down the fly on his jeans, when he looks up at Blaine expectantly. Blaine quickly shakes his head and reaches into the second drawer of Sebastian’s nightstand, his hands finding the lube and condoms. When he turns back, Sebastian is naked and crawling up the bed, stretching his body on top of Blaine. The skin on skin contact feels amazing and Blaine has missed this more than anything else. The sex is amazing and he craves it down to his bones, but it’s the closeness that he wants from Sebastian, what he needs to get through the week when they’re not together. The kiss Sebastian drops on his lips is quick and teasing and when Blaine tries to deepen it, Sebastian just smiles and pulls back, sitting up and resting his weight on Blaine’s knees. Blaine reaches blindly for the lube by his side, fingers curling around the familiar bottle and pressing it into Sebastian’s hand. He needs Sebastian inside of him, needs to be filled and stretched and pressed down into the mattress.
But Sebastian doesn’t hold onto the bottle and it falls to the bed.
“Here,” Blaine says, picking up the lube and offering it to Sebastian. He stretches his hand out, palm up, and waits for Sebastian to take it. When Sebastian says nothing, does nothing, Blaine asks, “Do you want me to get myself ready?” He doesn’t mind, not really, even if he prefers Sebastian’s long fingers opening him up.
“No,” Sebastian says and shakes his head.
Blaine’s sits up on his elbows, completely confused. “Okay? So what do we need the lube for?”
Sebastian rolls his eyes and bites at his bottom lip and if Blaine didn’t know any better, he’d say Sebastian looks nervous. “Are you really going to make me say it?”
“Make you say what?” Blaine asks. Sebastian stares at him, waiting for Blaine to put the pieces together. It takes a few seconds as Blaine tries to figure out what Sebastian means, but then it all comes together and Blaine’s breath punches out of him. “You—you want me to top?”
“And I used to think public school kids were all idiots,” Sebastian says, covering up his nerves with sarcasm. Blaine barely acknowledges it, instead staring at Sebastian with his jaw dropped open. “Close your mouth, you look ridiculous,” Sebastian says. “Do you want to do this or not?”
Blaine nods so quickly that he feels a muscle in his neck pull and he scrambles back, making room for Sebastian to lie down. They switch positions, Sebastian getting comfortable on his back and Blaine moving in between his open legs.
Seeing Sebastian spread out like this makes Blaine’s hands shake, makes his stomach twist up in knots and his throat close up. He pops open the cap and covers his fingers, needing to concentrate on something besides the ringing in his ears. He makes sure his fingers are slick and warm before looking up.
“Ready?” He asks.
“Blaine, just do it,” Sebastian says impatiently, but Blaine doesn’t miss the way his breath quickens or the way his fingers pluck at the sheets nervously.
The first press of his finger inside is met with so much resistance that it shocks Blaine. Sebastian is tight in a way that Blaine hasn’t experienced in a long time and he can barely move his finger without Sebastian jerking around him, and not in a good way. He places a kiss to Sebastian’s knee and moves slowly, just a few soft pushes in order to let Sebastian get used to the feeling. He adds more lube to make the slide easier, but Sebastian is still tense; every muscle that Blaine can see is wound up tight.
“You have to relax,” Blaine says softly, his finger stilling inside. Sebastian’s eyes are screwed shut and Blaine can feel the discomfort radiating from him. “Hey, we don’t have to do this,” he says. “I don’t mind if we stop.”
“No,” Sebastian says and Blaine can hear that his teeth are ground together. “Keep going.”
“I can’t when you’re so tense,” Blaine says, pulling his finger back an inch before pushing back in. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I just—“ Sebastian starts and then stops. Blaine waits until Sebastian speaks again. “I don’t do this very often.”
“Oh. Oh,” Blaine says, understanding dawning on him. His heartbeat speeds up as he lets Sebastian’s words sink in. “I’ll go slow, then. But you have to relax for me, okay?”
Sebastian nods and takes a deep breath and Blaine can feel when he starts loosening up, relaxing around Blaine’s finger.
“That’s better,” Blaine says, moving his finger in and out, slow but firm. He takes his time stretching Sebastian, moving a little faster as he feels Sebastian open around his finger. He bites his lip in concentration, his eyes flicking from Sebastian’s face to where his finger disappears further and further inside Sebastian’s body. “Can I add two?” He asks. He can feel that Sebastian is ready for it, but he needs to be sure.
Sebastian swallows harshly, his breath picking up speed as Blaine moves his finger. “Yeah—Yeah, I think so,” he says, nodding along with his words.
The second finger is easier than the first now that Sebastian is relaxed, his body loose and willing. He drops his knees apart wider as Blaine presses his fingers inside, twisting and curling and pressing in as far as he can. Sebastian opens up slowly, reacting to Blaine’s careful touches. It causes heat to build in Blaine’s stomach, his cock already hard and heavy between his legs without even being touched. He watches the pleasurable shock on Sebastian’s face each time he presses his fingers in just right, the way Sebastian can’t contain his moans when Blaine twists and pushes and fills him up. Knowing that Sebastian doesn’t do this often—maybe not at all—makes Blaine’s vision swim and he digs his teeth into the side of his cheek to keep his concentration.
“More,” Sebastian begs and Blaine groans at the sound. Sebastian doesn’t beg when he wants something—he takes it. He’s asking Blaine though, pleading with him, and Blaine’s fingers shake as he opens up the cap to add more lube.
“Tell me if it’s too much, okay?” he asks, and Sebastian nods.
Three fingers don’t fit as easily, but Blaine takes his time. He touches Sebastian the way that he likes to be touched; firm strokes in and long drags out, twisting his wrist as he goes, pulling out soft groans from deep in Sebastian’s chest. He knows this part is important, knows that Sebastian needs extra time to adjust, but Blaine’s not sure how much longer he can wait; not when Sebastian is so tight and slick around him.
“Blaine,” Sebastian says, his voice wrecked, his knees shaking lightly as Blaine pulls his fingers out entirely. “Come on, come up here. I need to touch you.”
Blaine goes willingly, shuffling his knees up a few inches until Sebastian reaches out and throws an arm across his shoulders, tugging him down into a frantic kiss. His other arm snakes down Blaine’s chest, fingers dragging along his stomach and wrapping around Blaine’s cock. Blaine’s hips stutter forward at the surprise contact, breaking away from Sebastian’s mouth to shove his face against Sebastian’s neck, his moans loud and drawn out.
“You don’t even know how hot you are,” Sebastian mumbles as his hand moves faster, his fingers tight around Blaine’s cock. “You have no idea what you do to me, Blaine. No fucking clue.”
Blaine whines, the sound high pitched and desperate and bordering on pathetic, but he doesn’t care. Not when Sebastian is whispering into his ear, his hand wrapped around Blaine’s dick, palm stroking up and down as Blaine balance himself over Sebastian’s body.
“Sebastian,” Blaine groans, struggling for breath in the crook of Sebastian’s neck. He really should tell Sebastian to stop, pull his hands away and search for the condom that’s lost somewhere in the sheets. He’s too close already and he needs this to be good for Sebastian, doesn’t want him to regret trusting Blaine like this, but he can’t find the words.
“No one else does it for me like you do,” Sebastian continues, his voice a low growl in Blaine’s ear. His hand moves faster and Blaine’s entire body shakes with the effort to not let go. His squeezes his eyes shut and pants against Sebastian’s neck, straining to not fuck into Sebastian’s fist. “I don’t want anyone else but you.”
Blaine’s hips snap forward as Sebastian’s words soak into his skin, the head of his cock catching against where Sebastian is open and slick and warm. He cries out as his orgasm slams into him unexpectedly, coming hard all over the inside of Sebastian’s thighs. He fucks through the mess on Sebastian’s legs helplessly, his hips twitching as his cock rubs against soft skin covered in come. It hurts to breathe, his lungs burning as he gasps for air. He barely has any time to open his eyes before Sebastian is scrambling for him, letting go of his cock and pulling Blaine away from his neck and in for a kiss. Sebastian pants against his lips, not even really a kiss at all, arching up to slide his dick against the sharp curve on Blaine’s hips.
“Sorry,” Blaine mumbles, their lips brushing together as he speaks. “You felt—I couldn’t not. I’m sorry.” Embarrassment curls up in the pit of his stomach, his cheeks burning as the realization that he ruined everything smashes into him.
“That was so fucking hot,” Sebastian gasps, rutting harder against Blaine’s hip and Blaine can feel the slickness that’s still all over Sebastian’s thighs. Sebastian’s breath is coming quick and uneven, his fingers digging into Blaine’s shoulders. “I can’t—please, please?”
Blaine doesn’t hesitate before sliding down Sebastian’s body, his lips catching on the dips of Sebastian’s stomach as he settles in between Sebastian’s legs. His knees fall even further apart to make room and Blaine bends forward, opening his mouth around Sebastian’s cock. He groans as it slides between his lips, the heavy weight welcome against his tongue. He’s missed doing this, and it’s even better now that it’s Sebastian beneath him, Sebastian’s thighs shaking, Sebastian’s fingers pulling at his hair. He’s only moved a few inches when he hears Sebastian pleading above him.
“Can you put your fingers back?” he asks, and it’s soft, Blaine barely catches it, almost as if Sebastian’s afraid to ask. Blaine’s not prepared to hear those words, strained and low above him, and he moves as quickly as he can, circling one teasing finger before pressing back inside. Sebastian is still wet and open from before, when Blaine had three fingers fucking into him, and the memory is enough to make Blaine grind down against the mattress.
Sebastian is writhing as Blaine drags his mouth over his cock, tongue flat and wide, curling around the head before bobbing back down. He loves the feeling this gives him; focusing solely on the pleasure of someone else, knowing that he’s the cause of Sebastian’s desperate moans and the way his stomach clenches tightly each time Blaine crooks his finger. He taps Sebastian’s hip with his free hand, urging him to move, to stop holding back and to thrust into Blaine’s willing mouth.
“Yeah?” he asks and it’s more of an exhale of breath than an actual word. “You want me to?”
Blaine nods the best that he can, opening his jaw wider as Sebastian starts to thrust shallowly into his mouth. He’s still holding back, Blaine can tell. His cock doesn’t even brush the back of Blaine’s throat, but it’s still good, still what Blaine wants. He crosses a second finger over his first and pushes them both in at once and Sebastian cries out.
The fingers in his hair pull tighter, demanding, digging into his scalp as Sebastian tries to pull him back. He’s having none of it and he shakes off Sebastian’s fingers, opening his jaw as wide as he can despite the small ache. Sebastian’s hips jerk roughly a few times and he bites back Blaine’s name as he comes, his hands on the back of Blaine’s head keeping his mouth in place. Blaine loves it—the way Sebastian tastes, sounds, feels, as he falls apart.
Sebastian’s grip on his hair lessens until his hands fall to the side and land in the sheets, his chest heaving as he struggles for breath. Blaine pulls off of his cock slowly, sliding his fingers out of Sebastian as gently as he can. Sebastian whines just a bit before he stops himself, reaching his long arms down to tug Blaine up.
“Blaine,” he says, like it’s the only word he knows. “Blaine.”
Blaine can’t help the huge smile that breaks out on his face as he drops in beside Sebastian, his head finding the crook of Sebastian’s elbow where he fits so perfectly. “Sorry that didn’t turn out exactly like you wanted,” Blaine says, still a little embarrassed.
“Shut up,” Sebastian says fondly, curling his arm tighter around Blaine’s side.
They lay in silence for a few minutes, their deep, even breathing syncing together, when Sebastian’s phone rings loudly in the quiet room. He curses and throws an arm over Blaine, their naked chests pressed together, and searches for his cell phone on his nightstand.
“What?” he says harshly into the phone, not hiding his obvious annoyance. Blaine can’t hear what the person on the other end is saying, but he feels Sebastian tense up. “Are you kidding? What the fuck?” Sebastian complains, taking his arm out from under Blaine and sitting up in bed. “Yeah, fine. Whatever. See you later.” He hangs up the phone and throws it at the foot of his bed.
“Everything okay?” Blaine asks, propping himself up on his elbow to look at Sebastian.
“My roommate’s coming back early,” he grumbles, leaning forward, and Blaine can’t take his eyes off of the long, pale stretch of Sebastian’s back. “He’s on his way back now. He just called to ask if I wanted him to pick me up a coffee.” Sebastian laughs, but the sound is hollow.
Something like dread settles in the pit of Blaine’s stomach. “Oh. Okay. I guess I’ll head out?” he asks. He’s not sure why he says it as a question; there’s no way Sebastian is going to ask him to stay.
“Fuck,” Sebastian says, rubbing his palm over his forehead. “I wanted you to stay longer, okay? I did.”
“I believe you,” Blaine says, a defeated smile taking shape on his face. “We can get together next weekend?” he offers.
Sebastian’s sigh is deep and heavy and he looks back to Blaine regretfully. “Come on, I’ll walk you to your car.”
--
“I’ll make sure he’s gone all next weekend,” Sebastian promises as they stand by Blaine’s car. It’s chilly, the wind whipping, and Blaine shivers. Sebastian’s hands immediately move to rub the length of his arms. “No surprise visits.”
“Sounds good,” Blaine says. He’s disappointed that he’s not staying at Dalton for an extra day, that he won’t be waking up tucked into Sebastian’s side, but hearing Sebastian plan for next weekend makes him buzz with excitement.
“Just the two of us,” Sebastian says and there’s a genuine smile on his face, something that Blaine is getting used to seeing more and more.
“Just the two of us,” Blaine repeats. He feels joy and hope and every other emotion he should not be having.
“Text me when you get home, okay?” Sebastian asks, not thinking twice before pulling Blaine into a tight hug. Blaine can feel the cold press of his fingers through the layer of his shirt, but Sebastian’s core is warm, his chest radiating heat as he wraps his arms around Blaine. They stay like that for what feels like forever and not long enough, Blaine pulling back first to push up and press a kiss to Sebastian’s cold lips.
“Don’t miss me too much,” Blaine says, tucking his nose into Sebastian’s neck. He can feel Sebastian shake with laughter and he runs a hand down the length of Blaine’s back.
“I’ll see you soon, Blaine,” he says, stepping out of the hug and reaching around to open the car door.
He feels the words on the tip of his tongue, like he’s ready to explode if he holds them in any longer. This is the moment where he could tell Sebastian how he truly feels, how he doesn’t want to be just another notch on Sebastian’s belt, another number to add to his list. He wants to be more than that, wants to hold Sebastian’s hand and kiss him whenever he wants and everything else that Sebastian pretends to hate. He’s confused about most things in his life, but not about this. His feelings for Sebastian are real and true and keep him awake at night, wondering if Sebastian feels the same way. He opens his mouth, the words right there, clear and easy and so ready to come out.
“See you later,” he says instead. He feels like a coward, but he’s not willing to take a chance on Sebastian not returning his feelings. The thought that he could confess his feelings and then never see Sebastian again makes him literally sick, his stomach clenching tight as he slides into his car. Of course he wants Sebastian to feel the same way, but he’s not willing to risk ending what they have. Not yet, not when he needs Sebastian just to get him through his week.
He pulls out of the parking spot and Sebastian tosses him an easy wave. Blaine smiles and watches him in his rearview mirror as he drives away, until he’s nothing more than a small blur in the reflective glass.
@темы: Fanfiction