Главы 10-11.

Chapter 10
The thing is; Blaine knows it’s a bad idea as soon as he thinks it. There’s really no reason for him to go back to Scandals. He had thought going back to Dalton was hard, being faced with the memories of the time he spent there with Sebastian. Going to Scandals, however, is something entirely different. It’s where everything started between the two of them, where they got to know each other again and where they spent most of their time. It’s where Blaine discovered just how far he has to stretch to place a kiss on Sebastian’s lips, learned how well his arms fit around Sebastian’s shoulders, the way Sebastian looks after a round of dancing and how low his voice gets when he whispers in Blaine’s ear.
It’s been a month since he’s seen Sebastian; four Fridays that he’s stayed at home listening to music in his bedroom or laid out on Sam’s living room floor with a movie playing in the background. He feels better with each day, the gnawing ache in his stomach a little less each time he opens his eyes after a night of sleep. It’s not gone, not by a long shot, but he refuses to let himself wallow like he did with Kurt. He wasted so much time pining for something that didn’t even exist, a relationship that had fundamentally changed, and he won’t let himself do that again. He still has the urge to pick up his phone and text Sebastian, to complain about glee club or the bathrooms at public schools or even just a simple, I miss you. He doesn’t, though, and his phone never lights up with Sebastian written across the screen.
--
He’s in his room, lying on his bed and flicking his thumb over the screen of his iPod like any other Friday night, when his mother pokes her head into the doorway.
“Sweetheart,” she says softly, stepping into the room. “Your dad and I are going into Columbus for dinner with some of his business partners and we won’t be home until late. There are leftovers in the fridge, in case you get hungry.”
“Thanks, mom,” Blaine says, angling his cheek up as his mother places a kiss down. She sweeps a worrying thumb across his forehead.
“Have a good night, sweetie,” she says fondly, leaving the room and shutting the door behind her. Blaine hears them getting ready in the hallway, shoes and jackets sliding on, and then leaving, the car’s tiring crunching on the bit of snow that’s started to fall.
Blaine sits in silence, his fingers clutching his iPod tightly, as the idea hits him. He needs to know if he’s over Sebastian, if he can go out and talk to someone new and not wish that they were a little bit taller, that their eyes were green instead of brown. He can’t be caught up on old feelings forever; he knows that now, after everything that happened with Kurt. He’s up and off his bed before he can second guess himself, checking his hair in the mirror and straightening out the collar of his sweater. He’s always been impulsive, and maybe that’s a bad thing, but he can’t help the tiny bubble of excitement that he feels at the thought of going back to Scandals.
The only thing that makes him pause is knowing that Sebastian will probably be there. There’s no reason to think he stopped going once Blaine broke things off. It’s probably the opposite if Blaine’s being honest with himself; Sebastian’s free to dance and kiss and fuck any boy he wants now that Blaine isn’t there to take up his time. Thinking about it makes him cringe, imagining Sebastian and a new boy wrapped around each other while Sebastian whispers filthy secrets into his ear. But maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe seeing Sebastian with someone else with help Blaine realize that things are over and done, that he can move on and dance with a new boy of his own. It’s not what Blaine wants, but maybe it’s what he needs.
By the time he’s made it out to his car, teeth chattering from the cold and from nerves, the idea of going out to Scandals is looking better and better.
--
“Long time no see,” the bouncer says as he waves Blaine in, not bothering to check his ID. Blaine blushes just a little, embarrassed that he seems to have become a regular at a bar. He knows it won’t be like before, when he was coming here once a week to meet up with Sebastian. He wants to satisfy his curiosity tonight, needs to know if he can be around someone new in a sexual way without feeling sick to his stomach.
He gives the bouncer a small smile as he moves passed, turning sideways to fit in between the bodies crowded near the doorway. Everything about Scandals is exactly how he remembers it —down to the same songs on the same rotation —except for the feeling of worry circling in his stomach. He’s usually bubbling with nervous excitement when he walks through the door, his eyes scanning the dance floor for a familiar tall, lean body. He’s still looking for Sebastian now, but this time he hopes he doesn’t see him, hopes that Sebastian found a newer, hipper bar in Columbus to pick up guys.
Blaine makes his way to the bar, knowing that a drink will calm his nerves. He’s not expecting anything tonight, doesn’t even want to bring someone back home. Tonight isn’t about that; it’s about working his way to getting over Sebastian —one small, painful step at a time. He orders a beer, even though it’s not what he wants, but every other kind of liquor reminds Blaine of the way it tastes on Sebastian’s lips. He swallows a large gulp, grimacing as the cheap liquid slides down his throat. It doesn’t burn the same way that first tequila shot did all those months ago, back when Blaine was clueless and a little naïve and only saw Sebastian as a potential hookup. He takes another long pull and the beer begins to do its job, warming up his stomach and calming his jittery hands. He doesn’t chance a look out to the dance floor again, instead focusing on the liquor bottles lining the wall in front of him.
“What’s your favorite?” A voice asks from his side and Blaine jumps in surprise, almost dropping his beer.
“Excuse me?” he asks, turning to face the man next to him. Blaine doesn’t recognize him, although, why would he? He’d had blinders on when he came to Scandals before, eyes only for Sebastian. The guy next to him is a little taller than Blaine (not tall enough, his brain supplies), and he can’t help but think that there’s nothing special at all about this man’s appearance. His hair is too light, blonde all the way through, and his eyes are too dark, his rounded nose looking out of place. Blaine shakes the thoughts out of his head. That’s not what this night is about, to pick apart new guys for not living up to someone else.
The man nods to the bottles. “You’re staring like you’re trying to figure out your next drink. What’s your favorite?”
“Oh,” Blaine laughs. “No, I’m good with beer for now. I guess I was just thinking.” He stares at the bottle that the bartender always grabs for Sebastian, clear liquid with black writing across the label.
“Well,” he says, moving in closer until their elbows bump on the top of the bar. “If you’re coming to a place like this, thinking should be the last thing you’re doing.” He offers Blaine a smile and it’s so sleazy that it turns Blaine’s stomach. “I’m Greg.”
“Blaine,” he says, offering his hand because even if this guy isn’t his type, he still has his manners. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“Likewise,” Greg says. The smile stays on his face, not even bothering to hide his interest as he looks Blaine up and down. “I see you’re without your escort tonight.”
“My escort?” Blaine repeats, eyebrows closing together in confusion. He takes another sip of his beer.
“Yeah, the guy you’re always in here with,” he explains, moving closer. “Tall, lanky, ridiculous haircut.” He pauses to let Blaine speak, but Blaine is silent. “I’ve been checking you out for weeks, but every time you come in here, you’re attached to his hip.”
Blaine swallows nothing, his throat suddenly dry despite his half empty beer. “No, it wasn’t like that,” he says, each word causing a new spike of pain in his chest. “We were just friends.” It hurts to say, to finally admit out loud that that’s all they ever were, and maybe not even that, not to Sebastian anyway. Blaine stares down at his beer bottle, this thumb picking at the peeling label. He doesn’t want to talk to the stranger, doesn’t want anything to do with his blatant suggestions. All he can think about is Sebastian; how Sebastian would be talking to him if he were here, how his hands would drape around Blaine’s waist, the way he’d look Blaine right in the eye before leaning down for a kiss.
“I think I need to leave,” Blaine says, sliding his beer across the bar. He realizes now that this was a bad idea, that he’s not ready for whatever the next step is in getting over Sebastian.
“Aw, come on,” Greg pleads, an insincere pout on his lips. “You can stay for one more drink.”
“I’m actually really tired, it just hit me,” Blaine lies. He doesn’t want to deal with pushy men that he has no interest in trying to feed him alcohol and take him outside, until he’s down on his knees or pressed into the brick.
“Can I at least get your number?” Greg asks persistently. “Maybe meet up the next time you’re here?”
He sighs, aggravated that this guy can’t seem to understand that Blaine wants nothing to do with him. He turns his entire body away, inching down the bar until they’re no longer touching. “I’m sorry, but I don’t think so,” Blaine says, polite but direct.
Greg opens his mouth, surely another pushy remark ready at his lips, when another voice cuts through.
“Can’t you take a hint?” Sebastian says, sliding behind Greg and pushing at his shoulder until he stumbles away from the bar.
Blaine can’t stop his jaw from dropping open in shock, quick breaths leaving his mouth as he watches Sebastian eye the stranger. He can’t process what’s going on, certain that he’s made up Sebastian completely. He wants to see him so badly that he’s imagined him here, moving this unwanted man away from them.
“What the fuck,” Greg grumbles, stepping forward into Sebastian’s space before looking at Blaine. “I thought you said you ditched him?”
Blaine can’t even begin to form words, his mouth a small ‘o’ as he looks between the two. He grips onto his beer bottle tighter, needing to hold onto something while his hands itch to pull Sebastian in for a hug. It’s an immediate reaction, one he can’t control and something that obviously didn’t fade with time apart. His entire body is still drawn to Sebastian, no matter how much he tries to tell himself to ignore him.
”Why don’t you just run along, hmm?” Sebastian says, his smile tight and fake. He words it as a suggestion, although it’s clear that it’s anything but. Greg squares his shoulders and Sebastian gives his eyebrow an unimpressed quirk.
“I think Blaine wants me to stay. Don’t you, Blaine?” Greg says, his smile all wrong. It doesn’t make Blaine’s heart speed up, doesn’t make him bite the inside of his cheek to keep from returning it. Even if he knows he shouldn’t, he still wants Sebastian and not this other person standing in front of him.
“Actually,” Blaine starts and he can see Sebastian’s ‘I told you so’ smirk already. “I kind of just want to talk to him,” he says, tipping his beer bottle in Sebastian’s direction. This isn’t turning out how Blaine imagined but, maybe, it’ll turn out better. Sebastian’s here and he’s not with another boy, doesn’t have his arms wrapped around someone else on the dance floor. He’s here and next to Blaine, attempting to chase off a guy who can’t seem to understand Blaine’s disinterest.
“Now if you’ll excuse us,” Sebastian says, waiting for Greg to step away. He doesn’t move and Sebastian picks his hands up and flicks his wrist. “Shoo,” he says, smirking as Greg sputters and then turns away.
And now it’s just the two of them, fitted tightly together at the crowded bar. Blaine keeps his eyes down, running his finger around a ring of water left on the top of the bar. Sebastian is so close and it’s overwhelming, the way his body still reacts to Sebastian. It’s like his head isn’t even connected, all of the rational thought gone the second Sebastian steps into his personal space.
“Hey, Blaine,” he says, knocking their shoulders together. It’s such a friendly thing to do and Blaine’s heart squeezes in his chest. “I didn’t think I’d see you here again.” There’s a long pause and Blaine can hear Sebastian sigh heavily a few times. “I—um—I’m glad you’re here.”
Blaine has to swallow twice before his mouth and throat cooperate, but he still doesn’t look up. “Hi, Sebastian.” He doesn’t trust himself to say anything else, to let Sebastian know that he’s glad to be here too, now that they’re here together. Just being near Sebastian is making Blaine feel better, better than he has in weeks, soothing and comforting and exactly what he needs. He finally looks up and sees the tight line of Sebastian’s lips turn into a smile when their eyes meet. It feels different after everything they’ve been through, but there’s an undercurrent of familiarity that warms Blaine through. He knows this boy better than maybe anyone else; at least anyone who still wants to speak to him.
Sebastian’s lips are moving, but the music is suddenly louder, the bass kicked up as more people move out to the dance floor. Blaine can’t hear what Sebastian is saying, can’t make out the movement of his lips. “What?” Blaine shouts, trying to be heard over the music.
Sebastian leans closer and Blaine holds his breath, but before anything can happen, Blaine feels an elbow to his back as he gets pushed up against the bar.
“Sorry, man!” calls a drunken voice from behind him, words slurred as the man makes his way by. Blaine pulls himself back and straightens out the front of his sweater while Sebastian watches the man walk away, his eyes narrowed.
“Can we get out of here?” Sebastian shouts, quickly backpedaling as Blaine’s eyes widen at the suggestiveness of his words. “No, not like that. I just mean somewhere we can talk, somewhere quieter.”
Blaine realizes he has a choice. He can leave now and walk away from Sebastian or he can stay and listen to what he has to say. He’s barely surprised at how quickly he has his answer.
“We can talk in my car?” Blaine offers, shrugging his shoulders as he says it. It’s too cold to talk outside for very long and Blaine’s not sure what would happen if he invited Sebastian back to his house. He needs to hear what Sebastian has to say before he even lets his mind wander there.
There’s a hand on his elbow as soon as the words leave his mouth, Sebastian pulling him away from the bar and directing them through the crowd of people. It’s so fucking familiar that Blaine has to pause and take a deep breath, close his eyes to get himself together and trust Sebastian to lead them out the door.
The air is freezing as they walk outside, but the snow has stopped. Blaine still feels like he’s burning up, the frigid breeze doing nothing to stop the warmth circling through him, starting where Sebastian’s hand is still clutching onto his elbow. Blaine steers them through the parking lot, Sebastian staying close to his side even when they have to turn and twist to fit between cars that are too close together.
They break apart when they find Blaine’s car, Sebastian squeezing Blaine’s elbow before he lets go and walks over to the passenger side. Blaine’s hands are shaking as he unlocks his door and he has a brief moment of rethinking this entire thing before he reaches across and opens the door for Sebastian, who slides inside easily. Blaine starts the car to take some chill out of it, holding his frozen fingers in front of the heat vent as he waits for Sebastian to speak.
He doesn’t. They sit in silence and Blaine watches the minutes pass on his dashboard clock. Even if he knew what to say, he still needs Sebastian to talk first, to try and understand what’s going on. He can’t put himself out there first, to tell Sebastian how he really feels, not after what happened the last time. So Blaine waits, letting his fingers and nose and the tips of ears thaw out as Sebastian’s hands grip onto his knees.
Finally Sebastian sighs loudly and it sounds like he’s forced it out, as if he knows what he wants to say, but unsure just how to say it. “I—“ He starts and then stops abruptly, and Blaine can see his knuckles turning white as he grips onto his knees tighter. Sebastian pushes a harsh breath out of his nose before trying again. “You know—” Another pause. “Fuck, Blaine. Come on.” He’s clearly aggravated, but Blaine can’t figure out why; if he’s annoyed that he has to speak first, if he doesn’t know what he wants to say, if he can’t put into words what he’s feeling.
“I don’t know what you want from me, Sebastian,” Blaine says honestly. Being this close to Sebastian after being apart is taking its toll on Blaine. He feels wound up tight, his heart and his head in a constant battle over what he should do and what he wants to do. He knows what he wants; to pull Sebastian across his seat and kiss him in all the places that he’s missed, to touch him everywhere he’s been craving. His brain stops him and instead he plucks uselessly at the steering wheel.
“Fine, okay. You want me to say it, fine,” Sebastian says and Blaine knows enough to see that Sebastian isn’t angry at anyone but himself. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I haven’t texted you, even though you asked me not to. I should have because I need to explain everything and because it hurt to not talk to you and because I missed you, okay? I missed you.” He takes a deep breath and all Blaine can do is look over with big eyes, trying to swallow down the hope he feels building in his chest.
“I don’t—I don’t do this,” Sebastian explains, motioning between the two of them. “What we had, what we were doing, it was all new to me, okay? I had no idea what I was doing.” He struggles as he says the words and Blaine wants nothing more than to reach out and lace their fingers together, to drag his thumb across Sebastian’s knuckles and try to calm him down. “It was just supposed to be sex, but then you had to go and be you,” and he says it with just a touch of sweetness and Blaine can actually feel his heart falling back into place.
“Sebastian,” Blaine says fondly, and he knows no matter what Sebastian has to say, they’re going to be okay.
“And I’m sorry for lying,” Sebastian rambles on, as if he didn’t hear Blaine at all. “In my dorm, when you were talking and fuck—you were so open and I just couldn’t be and I’m sorry.” He finally looks up from his lap and turns to face Blaine. He looks more vulnerable than Blaine has ever seen him. “Blaine. I mean—of course. Of course I feel the same way about you.”
There’s a pounding in Blaine’s ears, loud and persistent and it must be from all of his blood rushing to his face. He feels lightheaded and dizzy and he grabs onto the steering wheel to ground himself. It’s what he’s wanted to hear for months, what he convinced himself wasn’t possible. Sebastian is saying the words he’s ached to hear and it doesn’t matter if they’re a month late, he understands Sebastian and how difficult this is for him.
“Can you say something?” Sebastian asks, as close to pleading as he can get. “Is it too late?”
The elation that fills Blaine makes it hard for him to speak, so he just shakes his head and then smiles and nods. The look of confusion on Sebastian’s face just makes Blaine smile wider, too many words caught in his brain and unable to work them out of his mouth. Instead he reaches across the center of the car and finally, finally, has his arms around Sebastian. Sebastian tenses up before realizing what’s happening and relaxes in Blaine’s arms. It doesn’t even matter that his back is twisted and his arms are at an awkward angle around Sebastian’s shoulders, the overwhelming happiness that fills him cancels everything else out. He digs his face deep into Sebastian’s neck and tries to calm his racing heart.
Sebastian rubs his cheek against Blaine’s temple. “Are we okay?” he asks softly, his hands finding their place on the small of Blaine’s back. It’s still a perfect fit.
“Sebastian,” Blaine says, chuckling and shaking his head, which just buries his face deeper into Sebastian’s neck and shoulder. “Of course we are.”
Blaine can feel when Sebastian’s chest exhales with relief, his arms tightening around Blaine’s body. He can’t see his face, but Blaine knows the smile that’s there; he memorized it months ago.
There’s one thing that Blaine still has to ask, needs to know before he lets himself fall completely. “Is it just going to be us? No one else?” He asks. It’s the last thing holding him back. Because Sebastian can confess his feelings for Blaine until he has nothing left to say, but if they can’t be exclusive, if they can’t be together in the way Blaine needs, he needs to know now. “Can you do that?”
“I can try,” Sebastian answers quickly, no hesitation. “I’ve never done this before, been someone’s boyfriend,” he says and even hearing that word makes Blaine’s chest tighten. “But I want to be. Is that enough?”
Blaine nods, finally pulling back from Sebastian’s neck. He knows Sebastian, knows that this is something new and potentially hard for him. He knows it might not be easy, that Sebastian might have a difficult time with monogamy down the road when he confuses comfort and intimacy with boring and routine. But he’s going to try and that’s all Blaine can ask, all he ever wanted.
“Are you going to make me change my Facebook status?” Sebastian asks and Blaine laughs for what feels like the first time in forever. The mood changes into something better, easier, and Blaine playfully punches Sebastian’s shoulder.
“Shut up,” he says fondly. “Or I won’t invite you back to my house.”
“Yeah?” Sebastian says instantly, perking up and making Blaine laugh again. It feels so fucking good after feeling like a part of him has been missing.
“Yeah,” Blaine repeats, pulling back with a kiss to Sebastian’s lips, settling into his seat and putting the car into drive. Sebastian tries to follow him, stretching his body over the center console and placing a kiss underneath Blaine’s ear. Blaine takes a steadying breath as Sebastian’s lips press into his skin. “Put on your seatbelt,” he says shakily, proud of himself for even getting the words out. He knows there’s no way he can concentrate on driving when Sebastian’s lips are skimming all over his neck. He can feel when Sebastian’s mouth turns into a pout.
“Fine,” he huffs out playfully, moving back into his seat.
There’s nothing Blaine wants more than to reach over and put their hands together, to touch Sebastian in any way that he can, but he knows there will be time for that —and so much more—later. He looks over and sees Sebastian relaxed in the seat, his legs parted and his head reclined fully back. He’s watching the trees and houses outside the window, a content smile that looks permanently etched on his face. It settles Blaine’s nerves seeing Sebastian like that and he turns his attention back to the road.
--
They don’t run into Blaine’s house—that would be silly and immature and Blaine knows Sebastian prides himself on being neither of those things. But they do scramble out of the car and up the walkway, Sebastian’s hands all over Blaine’s body as he tries to unlock the front door. He shoves his hands into the back pockets of Blaine’s jeans, muttering softly under his breath the whole time.
“Let me get the door open,” Blaine says, although he can’t help but lean back into Sebastian’s touch.
“Can’t help it,” Sebastian says, pushing forward once Blaine finally turns the doorknob.
They stumble inside, quickly losing their shoes and socks and jackets as soon as the door shuts behind them. Blaine finds that he doesn’t care that they’re leaving clothes in the front hallway, not if it means Sebastian is closer to being naked in his bed. He’s never felt such a powerful surge of need before, taking over his entire body and making it difficult for him to think. His hands are all over Sebastian as they shuffle down the hallway, tripping over their feet as they go. They stop only to kiss, frantic pressing of lips together, just on the right side of too hard. It makes Blaine’s knees shake, the way Sebastian pulls him up—closer, closer, closer—hooking an arm around his waist and dragging Blaine up, until there’s no space between them.
“Come on,” Blaine urges, tugging on the loops of Sebastian’s jeans, finally pulling Sebastian into his room. Sebastian laughs at Blaine’s eagerness, bending down to nip at his bottom lip.
“Seems like you missed me,” Sebastian says, and Blaine wants to kiss the smirk right off of his face.
“Shut up,” Blaine mumbles, tugging Sebastian by the hips until the back of his knees hit the bed. Blaine doesn’t hesitate as he climbs on, letting go of Sebastian’s pants to pull off his own shirt. He throws it onto the floor and then starts on the button of his pants, pulling down the zipper and wiggling his hips. Sebastian is frozen by the foot of Blaine’s bed, unmoving as he watches Blaine undress. Blaine pauses, his pants tugged down to his ankles, when he notices Sebastian standing there, saying nothing. “Do you not want to?” Blaine asks, his heart pounding. Maybe Sebastian wants to take things slow now that they’ve worked everything out, to not fall right back into bed and into old habits. Blaine’s entire body is thrumming with how much he wants Sebastian—to have his body naked and warm and pressed right beside Blaine’s. He can’t imagine why Sebastian would want to wait, but Blaine will, if that’s what he wants. Blaine shrugs a shoulder, waiting for Sebastian’s answer.
Sebastian moves quickly, almost faster than Blaine can follow. His shirt is pulled up and over his head, his pants and underwear hitting the floor before Blaine realizes what’s happening. Blaine tries to keep up, his eyes flicking from the hard planes of Sebastian’s chest to the pale skin of his thighs. He wants to look, to see everything that he’s missed, but Sebastian is climbing onto the bed before Blaine can admire the dips of his stomach. Sebastian crawls over Blaine’s body, pushing his shoulders until Blaine is lying flat on his back. He looks up and sees Sebastian’s above him, the light from his ceiling causing a soft glow around Sebastian’s cheeks. Blaine feels like he must be dreaming, but Sebastian’s knees nudged in between his spread legs feels very real.
“I was going to take my time with you,” Sebastian says, bending down to run the tip of his nose along Blaine’s jawline, adjusting his legs until their cocks slide together. Blaine groans when Sebastian rolls his hips, his head pressing back into the mattress. “I was going to go over. Every. Inch.” Sebastian punctuates each word with a bite to Blaine’s neck, his jaw, the slope of his shoulder.
“Don’t wanna wait,” Blaine says, wrapping his arms around Sebastian’s back and digging his fingers into the familiar muscle. He’s missed this more than he can describe, more than he even realized until he had Sebastian back. Finally having Sebastian back hurts in its own way, like his chest is going to explode from too much. It’s overwhelming, but in the best way possible.
“Next time,” Sebastian promises, his breath coming fast as they rock against each other. He moves an arm under Blaine’s neck and cradles his head, his other arm pressed into the mattress and holding all of his weight. The way Sebastian moves isn’t designed to get them off, their cocks barely rubbing each time Sebastian rocks his hips down, but Blaine still feels like it’s too much. He knows he could come from just this, with Sebastian’s cheek pressed against his temple and his harsh breath in Blaine’s ear.
“More,” Blaine begs and hopes that Sebastian understands. He can’t think past that—more, more, more—so focused solely on Sebastian. He jerks his hips up, meeting Sebastian’s thrust down. “Please.”
“Blaine,” Sebastian gasps and the way he says it, like he’s been holding it inside for too long, makes Blaine’s heart pull (closer to Sebastian, always closer). He moves blindly for Blaine’s nightstand, his arm long and stretched out, but they’re too far away to reach. Sebastian growls, clearly aggravated that the lube isn’t closer. He moves his hand from under Blaine’s neck, sliding beneath his shoulder until it’s resting underneath the middle of his back. The pressure feels nice, a reminder that Sebastian is there, but it doesn’t last. Sebastian pulls Blaine up the bed, closer to the headboard, until the drawer is within reach. “Not letting you go,” he says, settling Blaine back on the bed and successfully reaching over for the lube. “Not even for a second.” He pops open the cap with him thumb and tips the bottle, letting too much liquid fall onto his hands.
Blaine wraps his arms tighter around Sebastian’s shoulders, bracing himself for when Sebastian’s hand wraps around them. He still jerks as soon as Sebastian touches him, his fist slippery and warm and absolutely perfect. There’s not much room in between them, both wanting to be as close as possible, but Sebastian works is way in, wrapping his fingers around their cocks and fucking his hips forward.
“I want to fuck you,” Sebastian says, his words dissolving into nothing more than moans when Blaine wraps his legs around Sebastian’s waist. “But I didn’t bring any protection.”
“Why not?” Blaine asks, his entire body writhing against the bed as Sebastian tightens his grip. It’s too good already—the friction against his dick and Sebastian covering him completely. He wants to tell Sebastian how much he missed him, how perfect everything feels, but he can’t focus —it’s too much, and his body shakes.
“I didn’t think I’d see you there,” Sebastian says and Blaine can feel how his whole body is strung up tight. His eyebrows are drawn together in concentration, the steady pumping of his hand inching their bodies together up the bed. “I didn’t want to sleep with anyone besides you.”
Blaine grabs for Sebastian’s face blindly, pulling him up roughly until he can press frantic kisses all over his face. He finally lands on Sebastian’s lips and his mouth is open before they even touch, desperate and hurried and exactly what Blaine had been missing. “I missed you,” Blaine says and he’s never meant anything more. “So much, Sebastian.”
Sebastian’s grip falters, his hips stuttering out of rhythm as Blaine speaks. He corrects it quickly, his hand picking up speed as he works them both closer and closer. Blaine cries out, burying his face in Sebastian’s neck—not to hide his moans, but because he can. They’re okay, Sebastian wants him, and Blaine strains his body closer.
“I missed you, too,” Sebastian confesses and Blaine knows he can’t hold on much longer. “Every fucking day, Blaine.” Their hips fall out of sync and Blaine doesn’t even notice. He ruts up against Sebastian’s thigh, his hips, the hard muscles of his lower stomach. It’s about so much more than getting off—it’s about finally being close, knowing that Sebastian feels the same way about him, and admitting that he wants them to be together just as much as Blaine does.
Sebastian grinds down as he twists his wrist up and Blaine can’t do anything besides squeeze his eyes shut and let go. He holds on to Sebastian’s shoulders so tight that his muscles start to ache and it only adds to the feeling, a dull pleasure-pain that’s amplified as he comes hard between their bodies. His whole body jerks and he holds on, wraps them together with his arms and legs, choking on Sebastian’s name.
He feels a sharp, quick pain in his shoulder as Sebastian’s teeth sink in, his legs and arms shaking before he stills completely. Blaine’s still groggy from his own orgasm, eyes blinking slowly and a happy grin on his face, and he’s not even sure Sebastian has come until he hears a whimpered, “Blaine” in his ear. Sebastian sags down on top of him, their bodies sweaty and slick and completely messy, and Blaine doesn’t even care. Not when he has Sebastian’s weight pressing him down into the mattress, when he can feel the soft scrape of Sebastian’s thumb tracing patterns against his neck.
“Do you want me to move?” Sebastian asks, his voice hoarse and scratchy, the way Blaine knows he always gets after they’ve finished. His weight is beginning to become too much and Blaine struggles to take in a deep breath, but he doesn’t want Sebastian anywhere else.
“No,” he hums happily, his palm flat and running up and down the length of Sebastian’s back. It’s as if he can’t get enough, his body craving Sebastian and to make up for lost time.
Sebastian laughs and presses a quick kiss to Blaine cheek, rolling off of Blaine and onto his side. He taps his upper arm, right before his shoulder, and Blaine scoots over, curling up and lying his head on Sebastian’s arm. Sebastian curls himself around Blaine and places a kiss to the top of his head.
“Don’t tell me you’re going soft on me now, Sebastian,” Blaine jokes. He feels fingers dig into his sides but he can’t force himself to squirm away.
“I didn’t hear you complaining about me being soft a few minutes ago,” Sebastian counters and Blaine’s whole body hums with contentment. This is exactly what he wants, what he thought he’d never want again. He closes his eyes and listens to Sebastian’s even breathing, his head rising and falling next to Sebastian’s chest.
“So this is for real, right?” Blaine asks, because he needs to be sure. “I didn’t just make this up, did I?”
Sebastian sighs and pulls him in tighter, until his face is pressed hard against the muscle of Sebastian’s chest, making it hard for him to breath. Blaine loves every second of it.
“I’m sorry that I gave you a reason to doubt me,” Sebastian says and the sincerity is evident in his voice. “I can’t promise that I’ll always be perfect, but I’m going to try. For you.” He pauses and Blaine wants to kiss him before he’s even finished. “Can we do that?”
Blaine has nothing left to say. Sebastian knows how he feels, knows exactly what he wants, and wants the same things too. So Blaine just nods.
“Good,” Sebastian says, smiling against Blaine’s temple. “Now, the most important question: who’s going to tell the Warblers?”
The joy that Blaine feel is something new and different, something he’s never really felt before, not like this. He thinks, “I love you,” but he doesn’t say it—not yet. There will be time for that later, when things are settled and back to normal, when neither of them are scared of what could happen. It doesn’t scare Blaine, he’s never been surer of anything. Sebastian is what he wants—all of him, not just parts. He wants Sebastian’s good and his bad, the difficult times and things that will just roll off their backs. He wants it all and as long as he’s with Sebastian, he knows they’ll manage.
“You can tell them,” Blaine says, hooking their ankles together. “But make sure to let Thad down easy.”
Chapter 11: Epilogue
Chapter Text
“Blaine, come on, just stop already,” Sebastian huffs, trying to bat Blaine’s fingers away from his tie. “It looks fine.” It’s cute—the way Sebastian pretends to be annoyed, how he tries to hide his smile while Blaine fiddles with the tie around his neck. The tie is actually mostly straight, maybe just a little off center, but Blaine wants an excuse to see Sebastian before their glee clubs preform.
“You really thing I’m going to let my boyfriend go out on stage at Sectionals with a crooked tie?” Blaine asks, fussing with the knot at Sebastian’s neck; loosening, then tightening, and back again. “In what world would I ever let that happen?” He teases. Sebastian just rolls his eyes but drops his hands, putting them into his pockets and letting Blaine finish tugging at the red and blue fabric.
“Are you finished yet?” Sebastian sighs, his eyes looking around the empty McKinley hallway. “These neon signs are making me nauseous.” He gestures towards the bright paper taped up to the walls proclaiming, “PEP RALLY THIS FRIDAY!” and “GO TITANS!”
“There,” Blaine says, tightening Sebastian’s tie for the final time. “Ready to go.”
Things aren’t perfect between them, but Blaine never expected them to be. He still gets nervous when Sebastian isn’t quick to answer a text late at night—until Blaine receives a picture on his phone of a pouting Sebastian holding his history book, a streak of yellow highlighter across his cheek. Blaine’s heart still drops when he sees a cute boy approach Sebastian at the movies while Blaine waits in line for popcorn—until he sees Sebastian ignore the boy completely before walking over to throw his arm around Blaine’s shoulder. Blaine still worries that this will be too hard for Sebastian, that he’ll change his mind and tell Blaine that being exclusive isn’t working out, that he doesn’t want the commitment—until Sebastian whispers in Blaine’s ear late one night as they’re falling asleep on the phone, “being with you is the easiest thing in the world. I don’t know what I was so scared of.”
They still have distance, and school, and glee, and preparing for college to take up the majority of their time, but they make sure to see each other at least once a week—usually Friday nights. “Keep with tradition,” Sebastian had said and Blaine hadn’t been able to argue, absolutely content to spend his weekends curled up on Sebastian’s bed and not at Scandals.
“Now,” Sebastian starts, letting his own fingers curl around Blaine’s black tie. “Try not to take it too badly when we beat you,” he says, smirking as he tugs Blaine closer, causing Blaine to stumble forward. Sebastian wraps his free arm around Blaine’s waist and Blaine lets himself be caught. “Careful. Wouldn’t want you to fall and break your talent.”
Blaine laughs, leaning into Sebastian’s chest before pulling away and stepping to the side to check his tie in the reflection of the trophy case. “The Warblers are great, but we’re going to mop the floor with you guys,” Blaine says confidently, practicing his smile in the glass.
“You’re lucky I like you, otherwise I wouldn’t tolerate that,” Sebastian says, stepping behind Blaine and checking his reflection, smoothing down a few stray hairs.
They haven’t said “love”, not yet, but Blaine thinks it—almost every day. He wants Sebastian to be the one to say it first, but it’s starting to become harder and harder to keep it inside. Sometimes Blaine has to bite his cheek or dig his fingers into his sides to keep from blurting it out, and sometimes—when he’s certain Sebastian is asleep—he mouths the words against Sebastian’s chest.
“What about a last minute switch?” Sebastian offers, wrapping his arm around Blaine’s waist and tugging him closer, until their hips bump together and Blaine’s shoulder is tucked into Sebastian’s side. “I’ll kick out one of the new kids and you can take his place. I’ll even make sure it’s a freshman so you at least have a chance of fitting into his uniform.”
Blaine digs his shoulder into Sebastian playfully, rolling his eyes, the teasing calming his nerves before they head up on stage. “Are you ever going to give that a rest?” Blaine asks, although he secretly enjoys every time Sebastian jokes about him coming back to Dalton.
“Unlikely,” he answers, and their eyes meet in the reflective glass.
“Sebastian!” Hunter’s deep voice echoes down the hallway. “We’re on in five. Let’s go!”
Sebastian sighs and pulls away, giving one last squeeze to Blaine’s hip before letting go. “Good luck. Knock ‘em dead.”
“Same to you and the guys,” Blaine says, and Sebastian doesn’t even hesitate to bend down and place a firm, quick kiss on Blaine’s lips. “I’ll see you at Breadstix after the competition, right?”
“Wouldn’t miss it,” Sebastian answers, smiling one last time before turning and jogging down the hallway to meet Hunter.
Blaine finds the rest of the New Directions in the choir room, huddled together in a circle while Mr. Schuester gives them his usual pre-performance pep talk. Blaine slides in between Sam and Tina, grabbing Tina’s hand. No one seems to notice that he was missing, besides Sam, who punches Blaine in the shoulder.
“Where were you, dude?” Sam whispers. “Joe made us each say a prayer and I panicked and said I was thankful for Bagel Bites.”
“Sorry, I had to wish Sebastian luck. The Warblers are on next,” Blaine explains. The New Directions know about Blaine and Sebastian and it’s mostly okay, only a few of the older members even remember who Jesse St. James is.
Mr. Schuester finishes up his speech, clapping his hands together in excitement. “Okay, guys. Let’s go cheer on The Warblers!”
The auditorium is already dark when they walk inside and Blaine quickly finds his seat, settling down in his chair and wiping his damp palms on his thighs. The Warblers are lined up on stage, covered in shadows as the spot line shines down on Hunter as he introduces them to the crowd. Blaine holds his breath until Sebastian steps out into the light, his lips pursed together in a whistle.
Both of the songs The Warblers preform are amazing. Blaine knows he should be worried about how his own group will fair against them, but he can’t be bothered. He only feels joy, pride, and awe as he watches Sebastian lead The Warblers into their second song.
Blaine is the first one out of his seat before Sebastian is done holding out the last note, jumping up and clapping his hands loudly until his palms start to sting. Blaine’s excited and proud and wants to turn to the people behind him and shout, “I love him!” while pointing to the stage. He settles for whooping loudly, his hands circled around his mouth to make the sound louder as it carries over to the stage. He gets a few strange looks from the other show choirs seated around him, but he doesn’t care. Sebastian’s smile is huge and Blaine’s matches, nothing but pure happiness racing through every inch of his body as he cheers for his boyfriend up on the stage.

Chapter 10
The thing is; Blaine knows it’s a bad idea as soon as he thinks it. There’s really no reason for him to go back to Scandals. He had thought going back to Dalton was hard, being faced with the memories of the time he spent there with Sebastian. Going to Scandals, however, is something entirely different. It’s where everything started between the two of them, where they got to know each other again and where they spent most of their time. It’s where Blaine discovered just how far he has to stretch to place a kiss on Sebastian’s lips, learned how well his arms fit around Sebastian’s shoulders, the way Sebastian looks after a round of dancing and how low his voice gets when he whispers in Blaine’s ear.
It’s been a month since he’s seen Sebastian; four Fridays that he’s stayed at home listening to music in his bedroom or laid out on Sam’s living room floor with a movie playing in the background. He feels better with each day, the gnawing ache in his stomach a little less each time he opens his eyes after a night of sleep. It’s not gone, not by a long shot, but he refuses to let himself wallow like he did with Kurt. He wasted so much time pining for something that didn’t even exist, a relationship that had fundamentally changed, and he won’t let himself do that again. He still has the urge to pick up his phone and text Sebastian, to complain about glee club or the bathrooms at public schools or even just a simple, I miss you. He doesn’t, though, and his phone never lights up with Sebastian written across the screen.
--
He’s in his room, lying on his bed and flicking his thumb over the screen of his iPod like any other Friday night, when his mother pokes her head into the doorway.
“Sweetheart,” she says softly, stepping into the room. “Your dad and I are going into Columbus for dinner with some of his business partners and we won’t be home until late. There are leftovers in the fridge, in case you get hungry.”
“Thanks, mom,” Blaine says, angling his cheek up as his mother places a kiss down. She sweeps a worrying thumb across his forehead.
“Have a good night, sweetie,” she says fondly, leaving the room and shutting the door behind her. Blaine hears them getting ready in the hallway, shoes and jackets sliding on, and then leaving, the car’s tiring crunching on the bit of snow that’s started to fall.
Blaine sits in silence, his fingers clutching his iPod tightly, as the idea hits him. He needs to know if he’s over Sebastian, if he can go out and talk to someone new and not wish that they were a little bit taller, that their eyes were green instead of brown. He can’t be caught up on old feelings forever; he knows that now, after everything that happened with Kurt. He’s up and off his bed before he can second guess himself, checking his hair in the mirror and straightening out the collar of his sweater. He’s always been impulsive, and maybe that’s a bad thing, but he can’t help the tiny bubble of excitement that he feels at the thought of going back to Scandals.
The only thing that makes him pause is knowing that Sebastian will probably be there. There’s no reason to think he stopped going once Blaine broke things off. It’s probably the opposite if Blaine’s being honest with himself; Sebastian’s free to dance and kiss and fuck any boy he wants now that Blaine isn’t there to take up his time. Thinking about it makes him cringe, imagining Sebastian and a new boy wrapped around each other while Sebastian whispers filthy secrets into his ear. But maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe seeing Sebastian with someone else with help Blaine realize that things are over and done, that he can move on and dance with a new boy of his own. It’s not what Blaine wants, but maybe it’s what he needs.
By the time he’s made it out to his car, teeth chattering from the cold and from nerves, the idea of going out to Scandals is looking better and better.
--
“Long time no see,” the bouncer says as he waves Blaine in, not bothering to check his ID. Blaine blushes just a little, embarrassed that he seems to have become a regular at a bar. He knows it won’t be like before, when he was coming here once a week to meet up with Sebastian. He wants to satisfy his curiosity tonight, needs to know if he can be around someone new in a sexual way without feeling sick to his stomach.
He gives the bouncer a small smile as he moves passed, turning sideways to fit in between the bodies crowded near the doorway. Everything about Scandals is exactly how he remembers it —down to the same songs on the same rotation —except for the feeling of worry circling in his stomach. He’s usually bubbling with nervous excitement when he walks through the door, his eyes scanning the dance floor for a familiar tall, lean body. He’s still looking for Sebastian now, but this time he hopes he doesn’t see him, hopes that Sebastian found a newer, hipper bar in Columbus to pick up guys.
Blaine makes his way to the bar, knowing that a drink will calm his nerves. He’s not expecting anything tonight, doesn’t even want to bring someone back home. Tonight isn’t about that; it’s about working his way to getting over Sebastian —one small, painful step at a time. He orders a beer, even though it’s not what he wants, but every other kind of liquor reminds Blaine of the way it tastes on Sebastian’s lips. He swallows a large gulp, grimacing as the cheap liquid slides down his throat. It doesn’t burn the same way that first tequila shot did all those months ago, back when Blaine was clueless and a little naïve and only saw Sebastian as a potential hookup. He takes another long pull and the beer begins to do its job, warming up his stomach and calming his jittery hands. He doesn’t chance a look out to the dance floor again, instead focusing on the liquor bottles lining the wall in front of him.
“What’s your favorite?” A voice asks from his side and Blaine jumps in surprise, almost dropping his beer.
“Excuse me?” he asks, turning to face the man next to him. Blaine doesn’t recognize him, although, why would he? He’d had blinders on when he came to Scandals before, eyes only for Sebastian. The guy next to him is a little taller than Blaine (not tall enough, his brain supplies), and he can’t help but think that there’s nothing special at all about this man’s appearance. His hair is too light, blonde all the way through, and his eyes are too dark, his rounded nose looking out of place. Blaine shakes the thoughts out of his head. That’s not what this night is about, to pick apart new guys for not living up to someone else.
The man nods to the bottles. “You’re staring like you’re trying to figure out your next drink. What’s your favorite?”
“Oh,” Blaine laughs. “No, I’m good with beer for now. I guess I was just thinking.” He stares at the bottle that the bartender always grabs for Sebastian, clear liquid with black writing across the label.
“Well,” he says, moving in closer until their elbows bump on the top of the bar. “If you’re coming to a place like this, thinking should be the last thing you’re doing.” He offers Blaine a smile and it’s so sleazy that it turns Blaine’s stomach. “I’m Greg.”
“Blaine,” he says, offering his hand because even if this guy isn’t his type, he still has his manners. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“Likewise,” Greg says. The smile stays on his face, not even bothering to hide his interest as he looks Blaine up and down. “I see you’re without your escort tonight.”
“My escort?” Blaine repeats, eyebrows closing together in confusion. He takes another sip of his beer.
“Yeah, the guy you’re always in here with,” he explains, moving closer. “Tall, lanky, ridiculous haircut.” He pauses to let Blaine speak, but Blaine is silent. “I’ve been checking you out for weeks, but every time you come in here, you’re attached to his hip.”
Blaine swallows nothing, his throat suddenly dry despite his half empty beer. “No, it wasn’t like that,” he says, each word causing a new spike of pain in his chest. “We were just friends.” It hurts to say, to finally admit out loud that that’s all they ever were, and maybe not even that, not to Sebastian anyway. Blaine stares down at his beer bottle, this thumb picking at the peeling label. He doesn’t want to talk to the stranger, doesn’t want anything to do with his blatant suggestions. All he can think about is Sebastian; how Sebastian would be talking to him if he were here, how his hands would drape around Blaine’s waist, the way he’d look Blaine right in the eye before leaning down for a kiss.
“I think I need to leave,” Blaine says, sliding his beer across the bar. He realizes now that this was a bad idea, that he’s not ready for whatever the next step is in getting over Sebastian.
“Aw, come on,” Greg pleads, an insincere pout on his lips. “You can stay for one more drink.”
“I’m actually really tired, it just hit me,” Blaine lies. He doesn’t want to deal with pushy men that he has no interest in trying to feed him alcohol and take him outside, until he’s down on his knees or pressed into the brick.
“Can I at least get your number?” Greg asks persistently. “Maybe meet up the next time you’re here?”
He sighs, aggravated that this guy can’t seem to understand that Blaine wants nothing to do with him. He turns his entire body away, inching down the bar until they’re no longer touching. “I’m sorry, but I don’t think so,” Blaine says, polite but direct.
Greg opens his mouth, surely another pushy remark ready at his lips, when another voice cuts through.
“Can’t you take a hint?” Sebastian says, sliding behind Greg and pushing at his shoulder until he stumbles away from the bar.
Blaine can’t stop his jaw from dropping open in shock, quick breaths leaving his mouth as he watches Sebastian eye the stranger. He can’t process what’s going on, certain that he’s made up Sebastian completely. He wants to see him so badly that he’s imagined him here, moving this unwanted man away from them.
“What the fuck,” Greg grumbles, stepping forward into Sebastian’s space before looking at Blaine. “I thought you said you ditched him?”
Blaine can’t even begin to form words, his mouth a small ‘o’ as he looks between the two. He grips onto his beer bottle tighter, needing to hold onto something while his hands itch to pull Sebastian in for a hug. It’s an immediate reaction, one he can’t control and something that obviously didn’t fade with time apart. His entire body is still drawn to Sebastian, no matter how much he tries to tell himself to ignore him.
”Why don’t you just run along, hmm?” Sebastian says, his smile tight and fake. He words it as a suggestion, although it’s clear that it’s anything but. Greg squares his shoulders and Sebastian gives his eyebrow an unimpressed quirk.
“I think Blaine wants me to stay. Don’t you, Blaine?” Greg says, his smile all wrong. It doesn’t make Blaine’s heart speed up, doesn’t make him bite the inside of his cheek to keep from returning it. Even if he knows he shouldn’t, he still wants Sebastian and not this other person standing in front of him.
“Actually,” Blaine starts and he can see Sebastian’s ‘I told you so’ smirk already. “I kind of just want to talk to him,” he says, tipping his beer bottle in Sebastian’s direction. This isn’t turning out how Blaine imagined but, maybe, it’ll turn out better. Sebastian’s here and he’s not with another boy, doesn’t have his arms wrapped around someone else on the dance floor. He’s here and next to Blaine, attempting to chase off a guy who can’t seem to understand Blaine’s disinterest.
“Now if you’ll excuse us,” Sebastian says, waiting for Greg to step away. He doesn’t move and Sebastian picks his hands up and flicks his wrist. “Shoo,” he says, smirking as Greg sputters and then turns away.
And now it’s just the two of them, fitted tightly together at the crowded bar. Blaine keeps his eyes down, running his finger around a ring of water left on the top of the bar. Sebastian is so close and it’s overwhelming, the way his body still reacts to Sebastian. It’s like his head isn’t even connected, all of the rational thought gone the second Sebastian steps into his personal space.
“Hey, Blaine,” he says, knocking their shoulders together. It’s such a friendly thing to do and Blaine’s heart squeezes in his chest. “I didn’t think I’d see you here again.” There’s a long pause and Blaine can hear Sebastian sigh heavily a few times. “I—um—I’m glad you’re here.”
Blaine has to swallow twice before his mouth and throat cooperate, but he still doesn’t look up. “Hi, Sebastian.” He doesn’t trust himself to say anything else, to let Sebastian know that he’s glad to be here too, now that they’re here together. Just being near Sebastian is making Blaine feel better, better than he has in weeks, soothing and comforting and exactly what he needs. He finally looks up and sees the tight line of Sebastian’s lips turn into a smile when their eyes meet. It feels different after everything they’ve been through, but there’s an undercurrent of familiarity that warms Blaine through. He knows this boy better than maybe anyone else; at least anyone who still wants to speak to him.
Sebastian’s lips are moving, but the music is suddenly louder, the bass kicked up as more people move out to the dance floor. Blaine can’t hear what Sebastian is saying, can’t make out the movement of his lips. “What?” Blaine shouts, trying to be heard over the music.
Sebastian leans closer and Blaine holds his breath, but before anything can happen, Blaine feels an elbow to his back as he gets pushed up against the bar.
“Sorry, man!” calls a drunken voice from behind him, words slurred as the man makes his way by. Blaine pulls himself back and straightens out the front of his sweater while Sebastian watches the man walk away, his eyes narrowed.
“Can we get out of here?” Sebastian shouts, quickly backpedaling as Blaine’s eyes widen at the suggestiveness of his words. “No, not like that. I just mean somewhere we can talk, somewhere quieter.”
Blaine realizes he has a choice. He can leave now and walk away from Sebastian or he can stay and listen to what he has to say. He’s barely surprised at how quickly he has his answer.
“We can talk in my car?” Blaine offers, shrugging his shoulders as he says it. It’s too cold to talk outside for very long and Blaine’s not sure what would happen if he invited Sebastian back to his house. He needs to hear what Sebastian has to say before he even lets his mind wander there.
There’s a hand on his elbow as soon as the words leave his mouth, Sebastian pulling him away from the bar and directing them through the crowd of people. It’s so fucking familiar that Blaine has to pause and take a deep breath, close his eyes to get himself together and trust Sebastian to lead them out the door.
The air is freezing as they walk outside, but the snow has stopped. Blaine still feels like he’s burning up, the frigid breeze doing nothing to stop the warmth circling through him, starting where Sebastian’s hand is still clutching onto his elbow. Blaine steers them through the parking lot, Sebastian staying close to his side even when they have to turn and twist to fit between cars that are too close together.
They break apart when they find Blaine’s car, Sebastian squeezing Blaine’s elbow before he lets go and walks over to the passenger side. Blaine’s hands are shaking as he unlocks his door and he has a brief moment of rethinking this entire thing before he reaches across and opens the door for Sebastian, who slides inside easily. Blaine starts the car to take some chill out of it, holding his frozen fingers in front of the heat vent as he waits for Sebastian to speak.
He doesn’t. They sit in silence and Blaine watches the minutes pass on his dashboard clock. Even if he knew what to say, he still needs Sebastian to talk first, to try and understand what’s going on. He can’t put himself out there first, to tell Sebastian how he really feels, not after what happened the last time. So Blaine waits, letting his fingers and nose and the tips of ears thaw out as Sebastian’s hands grip onto his knees.
Finally Sebastian sighs loudly and it sounds like he’s forced it out, as if he knows what he wants to say, but unsure just how to say it. “I—“ He starts and then stops abruptly, and Blaine can see his knuckles turning white as he grips onto his knees tighter. Sebastian pushes a harsh breath out of his nose before trying again. “You know—” Another pause. “Fuck, Blaine. Come on.” He’s clearly aggravated, but Blaine can’t figure out why; if he’s annoyed that he has to speak first, if he doesn’t know what he wants to say, if he can’t put into words what he’s feeling.
“I don’t know what you want from me, Sebastian,” Blaine says honestly. Being this close to Sebastian after being apart is taking its toll on Blaine. He feels wound up tight, his heart and his head in a constant battle over what he should do and what he wants to do. He knows what he wants; to pull Sebastian across his seat and kiss him in all the places that he’s missed, to touch him everywhere he’s been craving. His brain stops him and instead he plucks uselessly at the steering wheel.
“Fine, okay. You want me to say it, fine,” Sebastian says and Blaine knows enough to see that Sebastian isn’t angry at anyone but himself. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I haven’t texted you, even though you asked me not to. I should have because I need to explain everything and because it hurt to not talk to you and because I missed you, okay? I missed you.” He takes a deep breath and all Blaine can do is look over with big eyes, trying to swallow down the hope he feels building in his chest.
“I don’t—I don’t do this,” Sebastian explains, motioning between the two of them. “What we had, what we were doing, it was all new to me, okay? I had no idea what I was doing.” He struggles as he says the words and Blaine wants nothing more than to reach out and lace their fingers together, to drag his thumb across Sebastian’s knuckles and try to calm him down. “It was just supposed to be sex, but then you had to go and be you,” and he says it with just a touch of sweetness and Blaine can actually feel his heart falling back into place.
“Sebastian,” Blaine says fondly, and he knows no matter what Sebastian has to say, they’re going to be okay.
“And I’m sorry for lying,” Sebastian rambles on, as if he didn’t hear Blaine at all. “In my dorm, when you were talking and fuck—you were so open and I just couldn’t be and I’m sorry.” He finally looks up from his lap and turns to face Blaine. He looks more vulnerable than Blaine has ever seen him. “Blaine. I mean—of course. Of course I feel the same way about you.”
There’s a pounding in Blaine’s ears, loud and persistent and it must be from all of his blood rushing to his face. He feels lightheaded and dizzy and he grabs onto the steering wheel to ground himself. It’s what he’s wanted to hear for months, what he convinced himself wasn’t possible. Sebastian is saying the words he’s ached to hear and it doesn’t matter if they’re a month late, he understands Sebastian and how difficult this is for him.
“Can you say something?” Sebastian asks, as close to pleading as he can get. “Is it too late?”
The elation that fills Blaine makes it hard for him to speak, so he just shakes his head and then smiles and nods. The look of confusion on Sebastian’s face just makes Blaine smile wider, too many words caught in his brain and unable to work them out of his mouth. Instead he reaches across the center of the car and finally, finally, has his arms around Sebastian. Sebastian tenses up before realizing what’s happening and relaxes in Blaine’s arms. It doesn’t even matter that his back is twisted and his arms are at an awkward angle around Sebastian’s shoulders, the overwhelming happiness that fills him cancels everything else out. He digs his face deep into Sebastian’s neck and tries to calm his racing heart.
Sebastian rubs his cheek against Blaine’s temple. “Are we okay?” he asks softly, his hands finding their place on the small of Blaine’s back. It’s still a perfect fit.
“Sebastian,” Blaine says, chuckling and shaking his head, which just buries his face deeper into Sebastian’s neck and shoulder. “Of course we are.”
Blaine can feel when Sebastian’s chest exhales with relief, his arms tightening around Blaine’s body. He can’t see his face, but Blaine knows the smile that’s there; he memorized it months ago.
There’s one thing that Blaine still has to ask, needs to know before he lets himself fall completely. “Is it just going to be us? No one else?” He asks. It’s the last thing holding him back. Because Sebastian can confess his feelings for Blaine until he has nothing left to say, but if they can’t be exclusive, if they can’t be together in the way Blaine needs, he needs to know now. “Can you do that?”
“I can try,” Sebastian answers quickly, no hesitation. “I’ve never done this before, been someone’s boyfriend,” he says and even hearing that word makes Blaine’s chest tighten. “But I want to be. Is that enough?”
Blaine nods, finally pulling back from Sebastian’s neck. He knows Sebastian, knows that this is something new and potentially hard for him. He knows it might not be easy, that Sebastian might have a difficult time with monogamy down the road when he confuses comfort and intimacy with boring and routine. But he’s going to try and that’s all Blaine can ask, all he ever wanted.
“Are you going to make me change my Facebook status?” Sebastian asks and Blaine laughs for what feels like the first time in forever. The mood changes into something better, easier, and Blaine playfully punches Sebastian’s shoulder.
“Shut up,” he says fondly. “Or I won’t invite you back to my house.”
“Yeah?” Sebastian says instantly, perking up and making Blaine laugh again. It feels so fucking good after feeling like a part of him has been missing.
“Yeah,” Blaine repeats, pulling back with a kiss to Sebastian’s lips, settling into his seat and putting the car into drive. Sebastian tries to follow him, stretching his body over the center console and placing a kiss underneath Blaine’s ear. Blaine takes a steadying breath as Sebastian’s lips press into his skin. “Put on your seatbelt,” he says shakily, proud of himself for even getting the words out. He knows there’s no way he can concentrate on driving when Sebastian’s lips are skimming all over his neck. He can feel when Sebastian’s mouth turns into a pout.
“Fine,” he huffs out playfully, moving back into his seat.
There’s nothing Blaine wants more than to reach over and put their hands together, to touch Sebastian in any way that he can, but he knows there will be time for that —and so much more—later. He looks over and sees Sebastian relaxed in the seat, his legs parted and his head reclined fully back. He’s watching the trees and houses outside the window, a content smile that looks permanently etched on his face. It settles Blaine’s nerves seeing Sebastian like that and he turns his attention back to the road.
--
They don’t run into Blaine’s house—that would be silly and immature and Blaine knows Sebastian prides himself on being neither of those things. But they do scramble out of the car and up the walkway, Sebastian’s hands all over Blaine’s body as he tries to unlock the front door. He shoves his hands into the back pockets of Blaine’s jeans, muttering softly under his breath the whole time.
“Let me get the door open,” Blaine says, although he can’t help but lean back into Sebastian’s touch.
“Can’t help it,” Sebastian says, pushing forward once Blaine finally turns the doorknob.
They stumble inside, quickly losing their shoes and socks and jackets as soon as the door shuts behind them. Blaine finds that he doesn’t care that they’re leaving clothes in the front hallway, not if it means Sebastian is closer to being naked in his bed. He’s never felt such a powerful surge of need before, taking over his entire body and making it difficult for him to think. His hands are all over Sebastian as they shuffle down the hallway, tripping over their feet as they go. They stop only to kiss, frantic pressing of lips together, just on the right side of too hard. It makes Blaine’s knees shake, the way Sebastian pulls him up—closer, closer, closer—hooking an arm around his waist and dragging Blaine up, until there’s no space between them.
“Come on,” Blaine urges, tugging on the loops of Sebastian’s jeans, finally pulling Sebastian into his room. Sebastian laughs at Blaine’s eagerness, bending down to nip at his bottom lip.
“Seems like you missed me,” Sebastian says, and Blaine wants to kiss the smirk right off of his face.
“Shut up,” Blaine mumbles, tugging Sebastian by the hips until the back of his knees hit the bed. Blaine doesn’t hesitate as he climbs on, letting go of Sebastian’s pants to pull off his own shirt. He throws it onto the floor and then starts on the button of his pants, pulling down the zipper and wiggling his hips. Sebastian is frozen by the foot of Blaine’s bed, unmoving as he watches Blaine undress. Blaine pauses, his pants tugged down to his ankles, when he notices Sebastian standing there, saying nothing. “Do you not want to?” Blaine asks, his heart pounding. Maybe Sebastian wants to take things slow now that they’ve worked everything out, to not fall right back into bed and into old habits. Blaine’s entire body is thrumming with how much he wants Sebastian—to have his body naked and warm and pressed right beside Blaine’s. He can’t imagine why Sebastian would want to wait, but Blaine will, if that’s what he wants. Blaine shrugs a shoulder, waiting for Sebastian’s answer.
Sebastian moves quickly, almost faster than Blaine can follow. His shirt is pulled up and over his head, his pants and underwear hitting the floor before Blaine realizes what’s happening. Blaine tries to keep up, his eyes flicking from the hard planes of Sebastian’s chest to the pale skin of his thighs. He wants to look, to see everything that he’s missed, but Sebastian is climbing onto the bed before Blaine can admire the dips of his stomach. Sebastian crawls over Blaine’s body, pushing his shoulders until Blaine is lying flat on his back. He looks up and sees Sebastian’s above him, the light from his ceiling causing a soft glow around Sebastian’s cheeks. Blaine feels like he must be dreaming, but Sebastian’s knees nudged in between his spread legs feels very real.
“I was going to take my time with you,” Sebastian says, bending down to run the tip of his nose along Blaine’s jawline, adjusting his legs until their cocks slide together. Blaine groans when Sebastian rolls his hips, his head pressing back into the mattress. “I was going to go over. Every. Inch.” Sebastian punctuates each word with a bite to Blaine’s neck, his jaw, the slope of his shoulder.
“Don’t wanna wait,” Blaine says, wrapping his arms around Sebastian’s back and digging his fingers into the familiar muscle. He’s missed this more than he can describe, more than he even realized until he had Sebastian back. Finally having Sebastian back hurts in its own way, like his chest is going to explode from too much. It’s overwhelming, but in the best way possible.
“Next time,” Sebastian promises, his breath coming fast as they rock against each other. He moves an arm under Blaine’s neck and cradles his head, his other arm pressed into the mattress and holding all of his weight. The way Sebastian moves isn’t designed to get them off, their cocks barely rubbing each time Sebastian rocks his hips down, but Blaine still feels like it’s too much. He knows he could come from just this, with Sebastian’s cheek pressed against his temple and his harsh breath in Blaine’s ear.
“More,” Blaine begs and hopes that Sebastian understands. He can’t think past that—more, more, more—so focused solely on Sebastian. He jerks his hips up, meeting Sebastian’s thrust down. “Please.”
“Blaine,” Sebastian gasps and the way he says it, like he’s been holding it inside for too long, makes Blaine’s heart pull (closer to Sebastian, always closer). He moves blindly for Blaine’s nightstand, his arm long and stretched out, but they’re too far away to reach. Sebastian growls, clearly aggravated that the lube isn’t closer. He moves his hand from under Blaine’s neck, sliding beneath his shoulder until it’s resting underneath the middle of his back. The pressure feels nice, a reminder that Sebastian is there, but it doesn’t last. Sebastian pulls Blaine up the bed, closer to the headboard, until the drawer is within reach. “Not letting you go,” he says, settling Blaine back on the bed and successfully reaching over for the lube. “Not even for a second.” He pops open the cap with him thumb and tips the bottle, letting too much liquid fall onto his hands.
Blaine wraps his arms tighter around Sebastian’s shoulders, bracing himself for when Sebastian’s hand wraps around them. He still jerks as soon as Sebastian touches him, his fist slippery and warm and absolutely perfect. There’s not much room in between them, both wanting to be as close as possible, but Sebastian works is way in, wrapping his fingers around their cocks and fucking his hips forward.
“I want to fuck you,” Sebastian says, his words dissolving into nothing more than moans when Blaine wraps his legs around Sebastian’s waist. “But I didn’t bring any protection.”
“Why not?” Blaine asks, his entire body writhing against the bed as Sebastian tightens his grip. It’s too good already—the friction against his dick and Sebastian covering him completely. He wants to tell Sebastian how much he missed him, how perfect everything feels, but he can’t focus —it’s too much, and his body shakes.
“I didn’t think I’d see you there,” Sebastian says and Blaine can feel how his whole body is strung up tight. His eyebrows are drawn together in concentration, the steady pumping of his hand inching their bodies together up the bed. “I didn’t want to sleep with anyone besides you.”
Blaine grabs for Sebastian’s face blindly, pulling him up roughly until he can press frantic kisses all over his face. He finally lands on Sebastian’s lips and his mouth is open before they even touch, desperate and hurried and exactly what Blaine had been missing. “I missed you,” Blaine says and he’s never meant anything more. “So much, Sebastian.”
Sebastian’s grip falters, his hips stuttering out of rhythm as Blaine speaks. He corrects it quickly, his hand picking up speed as he works them both closer and closer. Blaine cries out, burying his face in Sebastian’s neck—not to hide his moans, but because he can. They’re okay, Sebastian wants him, and Blaine strains his body closer.
“I missed you, too,” Sebastian confesses and Blaine knows he can’t hold on much longer. “Every fucking day, Blaine.” Their hips fall out of sync and Blaine doesn’t even notice. He ruts up against Sebastian’s thigh, his hips, the hard muscles of his lower stomach. It’s about so much more than getting off—it’s about finally being close, knowing that Sebastian feels the same way about him, and admitting that he wants them to be together just as much as Blaine does.
Sebastian grinds down as he twists his wrist up and Blaine can’t do anything besides squeeze his eyes shut and let go. He holds on to Sebastian’s shoulders so tight that his muscles start to ache and it only adds to the feeling, a dull pleasure-pain that’s amplified as he comes hard between their bodies. His whole body jerks and he holds on, wraps them together with his arms and legs, choking on Sebastian’s name.
He feels a sharp, quick pain in his shoulder as Sebastian’s teeth sink in, his legs and arms shaking before he stills completely. Blaine’s still groggy from his own orgasm, eyes blinking slowly and a happy grin on his face, and he’s not even sure Sebastian has come until he hears a whimpered, “Blaine” in his ear. Sebastian sags down on top of him, their bodies sweaty and slick and completely messy, and Blaine doesn’t even care. Not when he has Sebastian’s weight pressing him down into the mattress, when he can feel the soft scrape of Sebastian’s thumb tracing patterns against his neck.
“Do you want me to move?” Sebastian asks, his voice hoarse and scratchy, the way Blaine knows he always gets after they’ve finished. His weight is beginning to become too much and Blaine struggles to take in a deep breath, but he doesn’t want Sebastian anywhere else.
“No,” he hums happily, his palm flat and running up and down the length of Sebastian’s back. It’s as if he can’t get enough, his body craving Sebastian and to make up for lost time.
Sebastian laughs and presses a quick kiss to Blaine cheek, rolling off of Blaine and onto his side. He taps his upper arm, right before his shoulder, and Blaine scoots over, curling up and lying his head on Sebastian’s arm. Sebastian curls himself around Blaine and places a kiss to the top of his head.
“Don’t tell me you’re going soft on me now, Sebastian,” Blaine jokes. He feels fingers dig into his sides but he can’t force himself to squirm away.
“I didn’t hear you complaining about me being soft a few minutes ago,” Sebastian counters and Blaine’s whole body hums with contentment. This is exactly what he wants, what he thought he’d never want again. He closes his eyes and listens to Sebastian’s even breathing, his head rising and falling next to Sebastian’s chest.
“So this is for real, right?” Blaine asks, because he needs to be sure. “I didn’t just make this up, did I?”
Sebastian sighs and pulls him in tighter, until his face is pressed hard against the muscle of Sebastian’s chest, making it hard for him to breath. Blaine loves every second of it.
“I’m sorry that I gave you a reason to doubt me,” Sebastian says and the sincerity is evident in his voice. “I can’t promise that I’ll always be perfect, but I’m going to try. For you.” He pauses and Blaine wants to kiss him before he’s even finished. “Can we do that?”
Blaine has nothing left to say. Sebastian knows how he feels, knows exactly what he wants, and wants the same things too. So Blaine just nods.
“Good,” Sebastian says, smiling against Blaine’s temple. “Now, the most important question: who’s going to tell the Warblers?”
The joy that Blaine feel is something new and different, something he’s never really felt before, not like this. He thinks, “I love you,” but he doesn’t say it—not yet. There will be time for that later, when things are settled and back to normal, when neither of them are scared of what could happen. It doesn’t scare Blaine, he’s never been surer of anything. Sebastian is what he wants—all of him, not just parts. He wants Sebastian’s good and his bad, the difficult times and things that will just roll off their backs. He wants it all and as long as he’s with Sebastian, he knows they’ll manage.
“You can tell them,” Blaine says, hooking their ankles together. “But make sure to let Thad down easy.”
Chapter 11: Epilogue
Chapter Text
“Blaine, come on, just stop already,” Sebastian huffs, trying to bat Blaine’s fingers away from his tie. “It looks fine.” It’s cute—the way Sebastian pretends to be annoyed, how he tries to hide his smile while Blaine fiddles with the tie around his neck. The tie is actually mostly straight, maybe just a little off center, but Blaine wants an excuse to see Sebastian before their glee clubs preform.
“You really thing I’m going to let my boyfriend go out on stage at Sectionals with a crooked tie?” Blaine asks, fussing with the knot at Sebastian’s neck; loosening, then tightening, and back again. “In what world would I ever let that happen?” He teases. Sebastian just rolls his eyes but drops his hands, putting them into his pockets and letting Blaine finish tugging at the red and blue fabric.
“Are you finished yet?” Sebastian sighs, his eyes looking around the empty McKinley hallway. “These neon signs are making me nauseous.” He gestures towards the bright paper taped up to the walls proclaiming, “PEP RALLY THIS FRIDAY!” and “GO TITANS!”
“There,” Blaine says, tightening Sebastian’s tie for the final time. “Ready to go.”
Things aren’t perfect between them, but Blaine never expected them to be. He still gets nervous when Sebastian isn’t quick to answer a text late at night—until Blaine receives a picture on his phone of a pouting Sebastian holding his history book, a streak of yellow highlighter across his cheek. Blaine’s heart still drops when he sees a cute boy approach Sebastian at the movies while Blaine waits in line for popcorn—until he sees Sebastian ignore the boy completely before walking over to throw his arm around Blaine’s shoulder. Blaine still worries that this will be too hard for Sebastian, that he’ll change his mind and tell Blaine that being exclusive isn’t working out, that he doesn’t want the commitment—until Sebastian whispers in Blaine’s ear late one night as they’re falling asleep on the phone, “being with you is the easiest thing in the world. I don’t know what I was so scared of.”
They still have distance, and school, and glee, and preparing for college to take up the majority of their time, but they make sure to see each other at least once a week—usually Friday nights. “Keep with tradition,” Sebastian had said and Blaine hadn’t been able to argue, absolutely content to spend his weekends curled up on Sebastian’s bed and not at Scandals.
“Now,” Sebastian starts, letting his own fingers curl around Blaine’s black tie. “Try not to take it too badly when we beat you,” he says, smirking as he tugs Blaine closer, causing Blaine to stumble forward. Sebastian wraps his free arm around Blaine’s waist and Blaine lets himself be caught. “Careful. Wouldn’t want you to fall and break your talent.”
Blaine laughs, leaning into Sebastian’s chest before pulling away and stepping to the side to check his tie in the reflection of the trophy case. “The Warblers are great, but we’re going to mop the floor with you guys,” Blaine says confidently, practicing his smile in the glass.
“You’re lucky I like you, otherwise I wouldn’t tolerate that,” Sebastian says, stepping behind Blaine and checking his reflection, smoothing down a few stray hairs.
They haven’t said “love”, not yet, but Blaine thinks it—almost every day. He wants Sebastian to be the one to say it first, but it’s starting to become harder and harder to keep it inside. Sometimes Blaine has to bite his cheek or dig his fingers into his sides to keep from blurting it out, and sometimes—when he’s certain Sebastian is asleep—he mouths the words against Sebastian’s chest.
“What about a last minute switch?” Sebastian offers, wrapping his arm around Blaine’s waist and tugging him closer, until their hips bump together and Blaine’s shoulder is tucked into Sebastian’s side. “I’ll kick out one of the new kids and you can take his place. I’ll even make sure it’s a freshman so you at least have a chance of fitting into his uniform.”
Blaine digs his shoulder into Sebastian playfully, rolling his eyes, the teasing calming his nerves before they head up on stage. “Are you ever going to give that a rest?” Blaine asks, although he secretly enjoys every time Sebastian jokes about him coming back to Dalton.
“Unlikely,” he answers, and their eyes meet in the reflective glass.
“Sebastian!” Hunter’s deep voice echoes down the hallway. “We’re on in five. Let’s go!”
Sebastian sighs and pulls away, giving one last squeeze to Blaine’s hip before letting go. “Good luck. Knock ‘em dead.”
“Same to you and the guys,” Blaine says, and Sebastian doesn’t even hesitate to bend down and place a firm, quick kiss on Blaine’s lips. “I’ll see you at Breadstix after the competition, right?”
“Wouldn’t miss it,” Sebastian answers, smiling one last time before turning and jogging down the hallway to meet Hunter.
Blaine finds the rest of the New Directions in the choir room, huddled together in a circle while Mr. Schuester gives them his usual pre-performance pep talk. Blaine slides in between Sam and Tina, grabbing Tina’s hand. No one seems to notice that he was missing, besides Sam, who punches Blaine in the shoulder.
“Where were you, dude?” Sam whispers. “Joe made us each say a prayer and I panicked and said I was thankful for Bagel Bites.”
“Sorry, I had to wish Sebastian luck. The Warblers are on next,” Blaine explains. The New Directions know about Blaine and Sebastian and it’s mostly okay, only a few of the older members even remember who Jesse St. James is.
Mr. Schuester finishes up his speech, clapping his hands together in excitement. “Okay, guys. Let’s go cheer on The Warblers!”
The auditorium is already dark when they walk inside and Blaine quickly finds his seat, settling down in his chair and wiping his damp palms on his thighs. The Warblers are lined up on stage, covered in shadows as the spot line shines down on Hunter as he introduces them to the crowd. Blaine holds his breath until Sebastian steps out into the light, his lips pursed together in a whistle.
Both of the songs The Warblers preform are amazing. Blaine knows he should be worried about how his own group will fair against them, but he can’t be bothered. He only feels joy, pride, and awe as he watches Sebastian lead The Warblers into their second song.
Blaine is the first one out of his seat before Sebastian is done holding out the last note, jumping up and clapping his hands loudly until his palms start to sting. Blaine’s excited and proud and wants to turn to the people behind him and shout, “I love him!” while pointing to the stage. He settles for whooping loudly, his hands circled around his mouth to make the sound louder as it carries over to the stage. He gets a few strange looks from the other show choirs seated around him, but he doesn’t care. Sebastian’s smile is huge and Blaine’s matches, nothing but pure happiness racing through every inch of his body as he cheers for his boyfriend up on the stage.
@темы: Fanfiction